Guilty Observation

And all things lead back to Adam Carolla. Okay, in order to get the whole story, I have to start with today's Podcast. He has told this story before, but now I've connected the dots. Apparently his junior high school girlfriend grew up to be an actress. He finally said her name and some of the movies she had been in. We'll she's no Joyce Hyser, but she did play the chick in Teen Wolf Too.

First thing on my resume: Did it with Jason Bateman.

Hey, that was one of my guilty pleasures as a kid. I recorded off of TBS and watched it a thousand times. Of course I memorized the edited version. Same thing happened with Ferris Bueller ("It's not a piece of tin!") and Vacation ("Who do I look like? Christopher Colombo?"). Supernatural aspects aside, it was just one of those teen movies here you root for the geek to get the girl. But Teen Wolf Too was different. You want the geek geek boy to realize the hot chick isn't really for him, unlike the geek girl that's been in front of him the whole time. (Totally different. Much like the plot of this movie and it's predecessor. Boxing in college is not the same as basketball in high school.)

The point is this sent me on a internet voyage through pictures and reminiscing about other movies in the same vein. You know, My Best Friend is a Vampire, Zapped!, My Boyfriend's Back; movies I should have never wasted the original hour and a half to see, let alone countless that I used watching again and again (My dad would ask me if I though the ending would change.). The voyage ended with me spending more time than I would like to admit watching Just of the Guys on YouTube at work. Good lord, that movie is awful. It's not even in the top three of William Zabka being the bad guy movies. (That would be The Karate Kid, the first few minutes of The Karate Kid, Part II, and Back to School.)

I come home and waste even more time watching My Best Friend is Vampire. I had the biggest crush on Robert Sean Leonard. I love and (and for obvious reasons hate) Dead Poet's Society. And now he's Wilson on House. Granted my attracted as switched to a different doctor on that show, but I digress. So I'm watching this horrible excuse for a movie and see Kathy Bates in a small role. Holy crap. I guess Academy Award winning actors have to start somewhere. And that when I noticed it. My Boyfriend's Back had Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Buffy the Vampire Slayer had Hilary Swank (and Ben Affleck if you watch closely). There's probably more but I don't want to force connections by hunting for them. They should be organic.

I actually mentioned to my boyfriend that the whole Joyce Hyser fading into obscurity gives me hope for Megan Fox doing the same in twenty years. Lack of talent (and if you don't believe me, watch the movie without the scene with her boobs) will eventually result in fewer roles. And the background people will emerge to the top of the A list. Or at least that's my theory.

Get Mind Out of Gutter

Actually, put it back in for a second. On the same shopping trip but at Target, I wander through the board game area and see this.

The rocket vapor trail is not helping.

Okay, what do you read when you just glance at the box? Seriously, people. And the description says the game "will inspire you to use your creativity, wit and sense of humor in ways you've never imagined." I think I'll stop writing here.

Holiday Ducks

On a Cost Plus shopping trip I found my way to the front of the store and encountered a bucket of rubber duckies. I love ducks and am a sucker for non-traditional rubber ducks. I look down and the first one I see is one with a dradle and yarmulke. Awesome! Then I see a Santa duck. I could see where this theme was going. On the side was one where I couldn't see the front, but the back feathers were light brown. My mind immediately jumped to "Yes! Everyone in my family is getting one of these bad boys."

Come on, what would you assume?

But alas, I did not reach in the bucket and pull out a Kwanzaa duck. Instead I got a gingerbread duck with a chef hat. What the hell? First off, I had to convince myself that I wasn't racist by assuming the pattern goes Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa. Then I sadly, I moved away from the bucket without the greatest holiday gift of all. How dare you Cost Plus. World Market my ass!

Laughing Makes Me Feel Bad

When I was in ninth grade, Dana Carvey came to my town. It was a benefit for an old friend of his who needed to raise funds to pay for medical bills. My two best friends were into Saturday Night Live and we could quote things like crazy. It was a hundred bucks for the show and the after-show reception. I could not pass up the opportunity so we went. And it was awesome. At least I remember that I had an awesome time.

It's happening again. Only replace Dana Carvey with Adam Carolla. And instead it's Laughs For Bald Bryan. This time the one that needs monetary help, I can pronounce his name. I can tell you the name of his wife and where he graduated from college. (I can even hum some of the fight song.) That just makes it worse. I get to laugh and meet celebrties and have a story to tell because he's sick. Is it wrong to seize the moment to meet famous people because one of their own needs help? Granted rich people get to buy their way into the movie and TV business because they have the means to finance other's dreams. I don't know if I can focus on the helping part since I'm getting so much more in return. Even further, I have received hours of free entertainment from Bald Bryan. Should I give more? Stupid human emotion.

All right, I'm just going to go, enjoy myself, and consider this my donation to Saint Dude's Hospital. Looking back, I had promised myself that I'd make it to a Carolla event this year. Looks like I made good on my word. I hope it sells out because I want this to be a booming success. Make a donation or buy a ticket at Laughs For Bald Bryan. If you can't, at least take the time to get it on!

Sniff.....WOLVERINES!

I was sad when I read last night that Patrick Swazye had passed. It flashed through my mind: Dirty Dancing, Point Break, Ghost, Red Dawn..... I'm purposefully stopping here because I just don't want to list his filmography. He contributed memorable performances that were beyond the mold. Of course it makes sense with his dancing background and study of Buddism.

I messaged my sister and she reminded me of the Saturday Night Live Chippendales sketch. I laughed because that one was surefire hilarity. And then I was sad because now the two men making me laugh so hard are no longer with us.

To stay strong, I'll just let it turn to something else.

Stranger in a Strange Land

The lights burn my eyes as I try to find my way to the path. I'm frightened of what I may do, or more importantly what can now be done to me. A hand reaches out to me, but I've been warned to be careful and not trust just anyone. Instead I call out for help to one who will not betray me. There is no response. I wait for days. My hope begins to leave me. Finally, my meek request is answered.

Okay, so it's a bit dramatic for my first week on MySpace, but my "Friend Request" has been answered by Teresa Strasser. This is kind of exciting. But I'm starting to wonder which celebrities maintain their own page and which have someone else do it.

The experiment took a turn for the crappy. I had to search my brain and answer the question: who do I love? (This isn't in that if my child and my husband where in the path of a speeding car, who would I save way. Oh, and the answer is why isn't my husband moving his ass and saving our child?) I don't have a big ego either and have been wondering who is worthy of my thoughful questions and gets to be on my blog of one follower. I'm realistic and wondering what do I really want to ask certain people? And sadly, I only have a small list of who I have something to ask. More importantly, I think they'll have something great as a response.

This is more in the realm of, if I could sit down and have a meal and conversation with any three celebrities, who would it be? I already know my answers, but I'm worried that in this hypothetical dinner, I would be left out becasuse I'm quiet and the three all know and are friends with one another. Instead I'm removing the dinner part and asking what's on my mind.

Yes, it sounds like I'm wussing out. But at the same time, this is like jumping off the high dive. I'm experienceing what I was afraid to do before. And the benefit is an artificial relationship with famous people. Who could ask for anything more?

An Experiment

Of course the timing is terrible, but if not now, when?

I'm starting what I'm calling the Interview Experiment. The internet is such a powerful tool that connecting with celebrities is as simple as Skyping a podcast. Okay, to be fair, those words didn't exist ten years ago. My point is I'm planning to defy my social networking site boycott and attempt to reach out to the famous people out there. (It doesn't really count because this is my alter ego. She doesn't pay taxes anyway.)

The full plan is to request an interview. It would only consist of three thoughtful questions that will be sent to them and posted if I receive a reply. I'm curious to see who will respond. Here goes nothing....

If I don't post back in fifteen minutes, just wait longer.