Overthinking Dancing

A friend of mine from high school never fails to crack me up with random observations on Facebook. He and I were really good at these observations and pop culture references and even now on opposite sides of the country, he has me thinking about the best dance sequences.

To be fair, we were discussing our high school reunion and how so many people were disappointed by the small scale gathering we had. I liked it as it was much cheaper and I have the internet to keep in touch with the people still worth talking to. My thought was most people were disappointed because they expected this Romy and Michelle type confrontation and then we'd break out into a dance sequence. He, being crazy like me, asks which one we'd do. He went with Encino Man.

 

Excellent choice, sir.

D'oh, now it's game on. My first thought was the one from Can't Buy Me Love. I know it's a deep pull, but it was dumb and for some reason I wanted one that had everyone joining in instead of the focus being on just a few. (The whole damn movie is on YouTube but I have it on the right spot here.) So then what, Breakfast Club? Ferris Bueller? Well, maybe just for kicks, the Saturday Night Fever parody from Airplane! but only after the guy gets stabbed?

 

An oldie but goodie.

I had to act fast as the joke get less funny as more time passes. I know because Greg Fitzsimmons just said it on his Jason Ellis episode that I listened to last night. I got distracted by the sequence from 500 days of Summer and remembered that JGL needs to go on my list of five. Finally, with confidence I made my choice.

 

How can you wrong with Mark Fucking Wahlberg?

The internet gives me so much to distract me. I simultaneously thank and curse it. On a final note, I love this video I found. Enjoy.

 

Just like my wedding day.

Hearts to Hardwick

First a confession. I remember when I was younger, I felt a pang of sadness when I found out an older actor had died. I was in my early teens and very vividly remember my sister being very short with me and asking me why I cared. Today I strained my brain to remember who had died. First I thought it was Gregory Peck, but saw he died in 2003. Then I thought maybe Cary Grant, but I would have been three at the time. Then I googled It's a Wonderful Life and yep, Jimmy Stewart in 1997 is an classic actor that died around the right time. Wow, so callous, but I think I figured it out.

Yes, I never knew Jimmy Stewart personally and I didn't even see many of his movies. Recently a good friend's father died and I suppose that sadness I got when I heard the news was based on knowing someone I love was going through a difficult time. And as of now, my sister and I are on better terms so I know she wouldn't be snippy if I were to ever mention it.

But then last week I read that Billy Hardwick died. Here I am stuck between the two scenarios where I've listened to every Nerdist Podcast (less the Vince Gilligan episode due to Breaking Bad spoilers) and know so much about Chris Hardwick like he's a good friend in a one way mirror. I feel bad and wish him peace even though we have never met. (Well, we met once at his book signing, but you know what I mean.) His show got renewed and his birthday is today and I'm just thinking that I hope he's doing well and he's surrounded by real support. 

It doesn't make me creepy stalker fan lady, but it still feels strange to be emotionally invested like this. All though, some people are really obsessive about Han shooting first and are devastated about certain characters that were killed off in Game Of Thrones, so I guess I'll be okay for now.

Black Friday Shoes

This year I made the decree that I will NOT subject myself to Black Friday shopping this year. That is, I will not stand in line to save five dollars on a pair of shoes. When I made said decree, my husband said he wanted to go out into the craziness, but not buy anything. Or more accurately, not stand in line like an idiot.

I shopped for ten minutes and was in line for an hour and ten last year in just one store. And just this morning, I stepped in dog crap. I hate that millisecond of debate if it's worth it to clean the treads or just declare shoe bankruptcy and toss them. One time I tossed a pair and then later that day dug them out of the trash to clean them.

The point is that pair of shoes that I stood in line for were now my back up shoes while my hopefully no longer stinky pair air out. They have been demoted to the back up pair. I should learn from this moment that no item is worth the time wasted in line.

I appreciate the people working in retail posting on their Facebook walls that they are making a similar decree because people should be home with their families instead of helping cheap obsessive bargain hunters buy crap they don't need. I think people can do what they want. I personally have just decided that I do not want to be a cheap obsessive bargain hunter buying crap I don't need this Black Friday. Wish me luck.

Coincedence?

I was listening to The Film Vault last weekend and Anderson flixfessed the movie The Last Supper. I saw this movie a few years ago and remember the premise but didn't remember the end. Had to go on Wikipedia to remind myself what happened(spoiler alert: everyone dies). And then a few days later, Jonah Ray mentions it on Tte Nerdist Podcast. It blew my mind that this random movie was mentioned twice by unrelated podcasts. I only noticed because it's not like it's national news (or even odd silly news), but just this older movie and one of the podcasts isn't movie related.

Then I saw an ad for the movie Last Vegas and immediately called it Vegas Space Cowboys. You know, old guys getting together for one last big blah blah blah. Then I had to think if any of the guys were in both and how many Oscars are we talking about? Well, Michael Douglas, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline have a total of six wins and fifteen nominations. Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones, James Garner, and Donald Southerland have six wins (including one honorary) and fifteen nominations. 

By the way, I am proud I could name the actors and mostly nail the awards (though I was off based on the whole producer crap) with a small assist from IMDb. The nomination for best sound editing for Space Cowboys does not count in this calculation. Nor do the wins and nominations of the others beyond the top four(sorry James Cromwell and Marcia Gay Harden). Also I'm not going to break it down into acting, directing, producing because Eastwood and Douglas have non acting awards.

And after the final count I just realized how cool it is that the numbers match. Last Vegas is more spread out and Clint Eastwood is doing most of the lifting for Space Cowboys (sorry Donald Sutherland).

But just to blow your mind, when I was young, I read in the newspaper an article about the movie Heartburn starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep. They have since been nominated and won more awards since I read it, but as of today, the have a total of six wins and twenty-nine nominations. Just for fun, if you throw in Kevin Spacey who plays "Subway Thief" you have eight wins and thirty-one nominations.

You see where my brain goes when I let it and have an internet connection to look things up? Man, I need a new hobby. Or a real one. Oh, but the point of me bringing up The Last Supper and Space Cowboys is that I thought Last Vegas was Vegas Space Cowboys. Well, then I walk into my local deli this week and see it playing on the TV. Spooky? Crazy? Random? Yes to all, but now that I wrote about it, I can move on. Stupid award and nomination mental side track. Still cool though.

Breaking Brain

I feel like I have to go internet silent or blind so I can get past the explosion of reaction to the Breaking Bad finale. I just got access to Netflix and thus can go on a marathon, but feel like I want to avoid being ultra depressed lately. Hope everyone enjoyed the show and they get the urges to write about it out of their system. Maybe everyone will right about the government shut down. Or something that truly matters instead.

Spacey

In an attempt to deal with not having more Simon Pegg/ Edgar Wright things to watch as I already saw The World's End*, I am re-marathoning Spaced.

(*Mini review: Loved this movie. I consider it to be the weakest of the Cornetto Trilogy, but just right below Shaun of the Dead. And of course Hot Fuzz is my favorite movie so we have our ranking. But loved it, wanted to watch it again immediately, and can't wait to get it on DVD.)

I love this show, but I have a small dilemma. It is free on Hulu and I have watched both seasons like six times. I don't have to buy, but feel I should monetarily support the artists. But despite what I said about buying the DVD of The World's End earlier, I do not like buying more DVDs and would instead just want a copy on my laptop I could access whenever I wanted.

Man I love having easy problems. I'll will now distract myself with more Spaced. You do the same while it's still free.
 

Celebrity Sighting #CFN

My husband was kind enough to let me drag him to Lake Tahoe to see Graham Elwood and Chris Mancini do stand up. Holy crap it was awesome. I will not go into details because I want to keep this amazing experience to myself, but I'll just leave you with these two words: gang bang. Wait no, that's wrong: palm strike!

License Plate Game 2013

Since I was young I would start the game when I got out of school and it would end when school started, and it was usually around the middle of August when I did start school, but I saw a commercial that claimed that August 15th was National First Day of School (fascinating marketing for school supplies), but so many schools start after Labor Day, and also I haven't been in school for almost a decade, so I'm just calling today the end of my quest.

Here are the elusive states I did not cross off my list: Rhode Island, South Dakota, and Vermont. My trip to Las Vegas was a huge help since we were in the car for about ten hours each way. So until next summerish, the game is over.

What Does Rhyme With "Hug Me"?

I have two friends on Facebook that posted about their time at the Train concert. SIGH......Now I know the bible says not to judge and everything. Granted, that's like a part time hobby of mine. Still I think about how I unironically enjoy Lada Gaga, Maroon 5, and Taylor Swift songs.

This past week I switch the radio stations from Hey You to I Knew You Were Trouble and from Hotel California to Blurred Lines. 

I do not support the Blurred Lines video. At least not the rated version. The one with naked ladies is okay and all. It's no Take on Me or anything. But I heard the song on the radio and like it.

Now for those who think Blurred Lines is "rapey", maybe you should realize that you have to take this song as the joke that it is. My interpretation is this is a guy hitting on his long time girlfriend or wife at home and no one is in on this joke but him and her.

For those who think he's seriously complementing her by saying she's "the hottest bitch in this place" I worry about your relationship history. I have a friend badmouthing this song after the recent Colbert Report (Great episdoe by the way! Watch it now on Hulu!) and I had to take his words with a grain of salt.

He's allowed to badmouth songs he thinks are annoying and I get to do the same. Ewww, Train. But I hope that my friends got their money's worth at the concert.

RIP Fontana

Okay, I had to look up his character name on Law and Order because he was no Lennie Briscoe, but I am here to pay my respects to Dennis Farina. The fact that he was Dennis Farina in all of his roles just shows that characters are irrelevant. He was an awesome presence that's all you need to know. Thank you for your wonderful contributions to film and television.

Donating Wind to Pirate Ship

Last week I made my donation to help fund Adam Carolla's next movie Road Hard. I like that he is trying to side step the crap of Hollywood financing and is in essence pre-selling his own product. I posted the link onto my Facebook timeline and hoped to spread the word.


The same time I do this, I see friends asking for donations for AIDS research, a post for a blood drive for a local dying boy, and some comments on the recently reinstated availability of gay marriage. Yeah me and my priorities. GET IT ON!

Bernie Lean?

So at my first baseball game of the year and apparently I didn't fully process the crowds of fans doing a dance type thing. The previous year it was the Harvard baseball team so I guess it was relatively related to the game. The best part was my father-in-law trying to Shazam the song ignoring the fact that I told him the name of the artist and song six times during the course of the song.



So this year it was something made espcially for the Oakland A's. I didn't realize this at the time and only know now because I had to Google it.




I can't believe my pop culture knowledge is so extensive that just from the context of the song, I was able to figure out the reference. Bernie Lean? You're reaching into your pocket and singing a song that is referencing Weekend at Bernie's II? Full disclosure: I know that movie inside and out because not only did I watch it a lot when I was younger, when it was time to return it to Blockbuster, I recorded it onto a cassette tape so I could listen to it on my Walkman.

Now that I've successfully shown my age and pathetic taste in movies, I will leave stating that I hope this does amazing things to Terry Kiser's career. And for the record: This movie can be watched in it's entirety on Crackle. Enjoy (or something) while it's still free.

Summer Blockbuster Weekend

There is an explosion of movies every summer and I hope I do not sound like a hipster when I say this, I am only excited about a low budget one based on a play. I'm tired of loud action movies that are meant to be a feast for the corneas. Instead, I am looking forward to Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing.

His passion project that he filmed in his home, this movie looks great. It doesn't hurt that I enjoyed the 1993 version (despite a waxy Keanu Reeves attempting to cry). Yes, I am a Whedon fan and have seen every episode of his shows minus the finale of Dollhouse. (I'm saving that for a special time.) Yes, I am hoping this would be a chance to finally see the Wesley and Fred happy ending I crave so much.

Here's the rub, though. This is a JOSS WHEDON creation. He gives the audience what they need, not what they want. Buffy and Angel, Fred and Wesley, Giles and Jenny, the man destroyed so much. My concern is Shakespeare is in the public domain. He's able to do with it what he wants. Will he turn the fun and joy of this story and turn it upside down and make it on par with Macbeth and Hamlet? The asshole is capable. When he has the power, he can break so many hearts.

I considered traveling longer than the running time of the movie to go out and see it, but it turns out it opens wide June 21st. Even though this is my most anticipated movie of the summer, I'll hold off. I don't want to spend the car ride home fixated on how I got screwed again.

Dr. Bennifer

Ben Affleck has a doctorate. Yes, it was honorary and he's no Mayim Bialik, but I'd like to think Reindeer Games would knock him down to a master's degree. That is all.

I Want My TWO DOLLARS!

Is it worth it to go back to a store that overcharged you two bucks? At Best Buy and getting a present for my buddy and the price that came up did not match the price on the sticker. I even mentioned it and was told it could not be changed. 

I told my husband and he told me it's against the law to do that when the sticker price is less than the price that comes up when you ring up at the register. It all boils down to the principle I suppose, but when you know you got screwed over just a little bit, when is it worth it to just let it go? I mean they price match other stores but they don't price match themselves?

Well, I did go back and thought it was just worth it to not patronize Best Buy anymore. Then had a change of heart, got a new copy from the shelf and asked a new person to price match and she did without hesitating. I guess it's the employees and that's all well and good, but still annoying. I was in the area anyway so not too much sweat off my back. Just annoyance.

No Comment

On occasion I will hear on podcasts how absolutely nasty some people can be on message boards. This goes into a very dark place and I think public judgement is why I hide behind the mask of Angie. I do, however show my support of some podcasts on Facebook, but limit to the smaller podcasts and of the ones that post something roughly once a week. 

Well, one of my favorites takes a weekly poll. If I felt I had a strong response, I would contribute. Sadly, my last one was not very well researched and I thought I made an ass of myself. Enough time had passed and this time I felt confident enough to post again. This time I spent time looking through and making sure I did not make the same mistake.

Sure enough within the day someone had posted that I had fucked up my response again. So I went back to my sources and did not see what they apparently knew. I called my husband asking him to double check for me. Then I decided that I would reach out to this person and ask them to site his source. Yep, have not heard back. I don't expect to.

Here's what's truly pissing me off. I see nothing on the internet that proves this guy right. I'm praying the information I posted will find it was in the same realm of the host's and they will comment similarly and I will be vindicated. (I promise that does not mean the host will give me a shout out. Since they go over a topic, I'm hoping that they would have the same idea I did, bring it up, and comment accordingly, thus proving my information was correct.) I'm seriously pissed that someone can cavalierly say, no you're wrong, and not mention how and then move on as if the conversation is done.

I know that compared to the fact that the first six or so comments on the feed were insulting the topic and I should calm down and accept people say whatever they want. Still, I hate that I put time and effort into my response and make sure to be contributing in a respectful and informative manner, and some jack ass can move in, say I'm wrong and then move on as if he doesn't give a shit. Actually, he probably doesn't. I just hate that amount of smarmy confidence. 

I realize that with more recent tragic events in Boston, this sound very spoiled and pathetic, but I need to hold onto my baby problems if I am not going to upset myself. That is about real things. This pointless crap can piss me off. Domestic terrorism shall not. In fact when I heard about the explosions, I went from devastated about the tragedy to annoyed at my Facebook feed within hours. I don't need all my "friends" posting these images of roses in a tennis shoe to show their condolences.

My thoughts and prayers go to the victims. But I say that knowing that no one will see it in a post. That's between me and my brain.

Support Ho

So it is my understanding that Adam Carolla will be starting a Kickstarter to fund his next movie. That's an easy one. Send me the link, I'll send some dough. With so much free entertainment out there, how I can I possibly spread the love among all of these amazingly talented people? I only make so many purchases from Amazon I can click click through. How else do I support?

Okay, I'll go to your shows. I got some of you down. But I can only do so much traveling. I could buy your books and CDs, but I'm a hoarder and have a problem with clutter so I try to shut that down. You can't sign my Nook or iPod. Actually, you could but please don't. Sure I'll send some cash, wait, I could buy your CD if I had......but I have a backlog of free episodes......a premium subscription would just add to the backlog...am I a cheap fuck for going the library to check out books of comedians I want to read but not keep?

This used to be easier. Granted, I wasn't directly per se supporting TV shows when I watched them. There was this indirect ad revenue but I wasn't a Nielsen house, so was I really helping?

There is an idea to spend that which I would have spend on entertainment towards this. But I do not go to the movies or eat out, so how does that work? My entertainment budget is free podcasts. At least when I donate to This American Life, I get to write it off. And will I be playing favorites? The Film Vault got my Amazon click through of a power saw, but Titus got my sister's lunch bag.

What about non podcast entertainers? I would have loved to send Spoony's dog a new collar. Tiny price to pay for Rebruary. Sadly I say I will, then forget. Okay, I'm just going to start clicking links on websites and hope that will generate some pennies for my people. It's all I got for now. Then again, there is the LA Podcast festival......

Celebrity Sighting #Gould

Went out to San Francisco on the 15th to see the hilarious Dana Gould. It was the old people show. That is, the first showing on Friday and the house was small in the first place let alone full. He mentioned on stage that he is getting a divorce. I was shocked and how that affected me. 

I think radio and podcasting are an incredibly intimate form of entertainment. I listen to Dana Gould about as often as I see my sister. It was devastating for me to hear it and I really have no stakes in the matter. I wanted to hug him and then have him sign my bottle of Klonopin.

Alas, he was not there to greet people after the show. The line for the later show went around the corner and I hope the younger set gave him the audience he wanted. Good luck on your special taping. I mean you're taping your special. I hope it goes well. I didn't mean it was "special" or anything. Ummmm.....rape joke!

Oscar Hangover

Two days after the fact so we've all moved on with our lives. I missed the Oscars as I had my own celebrations. My only comment is now there are two actresses who have played Catwoman who now have Oscars and neither are Michelle Pfeiffer. Feels wrong. 

Okay, I lied second comment: I was very happy when Searching For Sugar Man won best documentary. I watched it a few weeks ago and will admit that the first twenty minutes were slow. Then it all began to unfold and it gave me chills. If you can get it, and it should be easier now that it won, I highly recommend it. Then again, if that movie has taught me anything, just because it is an excellent product, that doesn't mean you can get it easily.

Tune Osmosis

Everybody's born knowing all the Beatles lyrics instinctively. They're passed into the fetus subconsciously along with all the amniotic stuff. Fact, they should be called "The Fetals". 

This is quote is the best thing to come from the movie Sliding Doors. It's so insightful that it popped into my head when I began to sing the chorus of Easy Lover. (Yes, I know it's not The Beatles.)  It makes sense that Beatles songs are so ubiquitous that anyone can sing pieces. But to what level of exposure does a song like Easy Lover need to penetrate your mind?

 This is pretty much the same song as "Let It Be".

I'm wondering if the newer generations that make their own playlists and have no idea how a radio works will have memorized as many pointless song lyrics and me and my contemporaries. To this day my husband has visceral reactions to some classic rock songs from a years of being dragged on errands with his mother and bored out of his skull. 

I'm not proud of it, but I found myself belting out a few Taylor Swift songs with startling accuracy. Thank goodness I'm a chick. I'm allowed to publicly like things with slightly less backlash.

Celebrity Sighting #Nerdist

Hooray for SF Sketchfest! Once again I ventured into the city to see my comedic heroes. I will save you the panic attack and packing anecdotes and go straight to thanking my husband for going with me even though he was sick and not looking forward to it. I chose a good man and adventures like this with him prove that every time.

Being in a small theater with other Nerdist fans left me feeling like part of a wonderful group while at the same time a little out of the loop. There were Twitter comments posted in real time before the show and I felt like I was ninety years old. Then again, once the stand up started, I didn't care and loved the show. Pete Holmes was the guest and I have to give him credit. I hear him on a podcast and he's okay. You see him live and he is phenomenal. Would love to explain it, but so much get's lost in translation, so I won't bother.

The podcast will come out and I debated if I should listen. I will know all the physical comedy involved and now I can hear the parts that were covered up by audience laughter. Then again, I have about fifteen other podcasts I need to listen to. I was a little bummed that once again I did not get my book signed because they could not do meet and greet. At the same time, was relieved for my sicky husband and we got the hell home. Thank you Matt Mira, Jonah Ray, Chris Hardwick, and Pete Holmes. May your talent be appreciated by legions who will worship you as you deserve.

Superbowl Hangover

I don't get the sports fanaticism. I get excited to watch a good show, but the Superbowl is not a good show. But when surrounded by 49er fans, it is fun to get involved in the excitement. Then again, listening to the insane anger and depression when a team is losing is upsetting.
For all the effort that goes into it, the Superbowl is a horrible piece of entertainment, yet is the most watched event. Why don't the producers understand that the halftime show, "interesting" statistics, or pre-pre-pre-game show do not matter. People will watch. Even if you break out statistics about the last time the power went out at the Superbowl.

So what did I take away from Superbowl XLVII? Not much because I watched Iron Man with my mom during most of it. During the commercials for that, I watched the Puppy Bowl. I was involved with a pool and my friend drunkenly told me I won. She then drunkenly apologized. I was upset that no one dug my comment about how some major heist is probably happening when the power went out.

The great thing about being a fair weather fan is that my life is not destroyed because the team lost. I would also like to believe that isn't the case for the true fans either. But here we are the day after and life goes on. Let's focus on things that are truly important. Like the children in third world countries that do not have chicken wings. Or the Oscars.

Celebrity Sighting #Henderson!

I was very excited to hear the Sklars were doing a show in San Francisco. I was all geared up to get my bearings and meet my husband after work to them as it is so unfair to ask him to go on weekends since he already goes five days a week. 

And then the jury duty summons came and I was crushed. Not so much because they finally called me, but I'm not strong enough to do so much at once. I'll admit my anxiety is ridiculous and I let it stop me from many things. In this case though, I let my resolve consume me and I bought those damn tickets. That's right!

After being a member of the justice squadron, I took my nap and hoped I could be at my peak for this show. I did well. I had my food rations, I got on public transit and using my previous experiences, knew what triggers to expect and squashed all beginning phases of panic. I even had people ask me about train schedules. I didn't know the answer, but I had Google to tell me how.

Through my terrible navigation I made it to my husband's office and realized eating is a good idea. Downed my pre-packed dinner and with my legs starting to feel fatigue I gently requested a cab instead of walking. Best ten bucks of the night spent. 

I hate general admission. People today have no problems showing up hours early to get good seats. I want to be rich so I can slip someone some money and get a good view. But I could see the stage and was happy to get this comedy started.

I see so many commercials for energy shots and the big claim is no crash afterwards. I do not take energy anything, but my crash came about eight thirty that night. I know performers develop a thick skin but many still fixate on the one person in the room not laughing. To that poor opening and middle act, please know that if I were in any other state of mind, I’d be cracking up.  You were great. But on this night, I could not muster the energy to smile. My body was betraying me and I got just enough strength in me to tell my husband that I wanted to go home. It was my night and he told me that he wanted to stay, but knowing me, if I wanted to leave, we could.

I love him so much. I was nearly shaking and wanted to find a bed and sob into a pillow. Instead I went into the bathroom and cried through the middle act. When that nervous energy left me, I was calm and ready to tough out the show I wanted to see.

It was within ten seconds that they came on stage and I was captivated by laughs. Soon my panic and exhaustion was gone and all that was left was a desire to scream ZOOM after every punch line. Can't remember the last time I was allowed to laugh so loudly in public. The show ended and I silently cursed the waitress for taking so long to get me the bill. She was a good server so I tipped well, but I didn't want to wait forever to meet the Sklars after the show. The line moved quickly and they were still very energetic. I told them I was promised a hug and a Henderson and they delivered. Like the good geeks they are, asked if I wanted my new Sklarbro Country shirt signed or kept pristine. They signed my ticket and I got a totally rocking picture with my favorite comedy twins. 

I was so jazzed as we left it didn't occur to me that I had to pee. It became very apparent when I was reminded there were no bathrooms available at the station. I used my politeness to get back into the club and use the bathroom. This time my release was biological and not emotional. I went home that night very content that I did not bail on a chance to meet two of my comedy heroes. Even better, my husband was proud of me. I know I'm a big coward, but there are some experiences where I will rise to the occasion. Promise me a hug and a Henderson and that will be one of them.

12 Angry Birds

Last Friday I had to go to jury duty for first time in my almost thirty years. (More accurately, in my twelve eligible years.) I was prepared to be there for a large portion of my Friday.....before the holiday....that I didn't get off anyway.....yeah. I promised myself that I would not get my hopes up that they wouldn't need me. That we would be let go early. That I would get to Skype justice in from home in my pajamas. Instead I packed a bag full of panic attack reducing meals and snacks, five bottles of water, four layers of clothes, one fully charged and podcast filled iPod, one fully charged Nook, my phone charger, and a book I got for Christmas in the event all electronics failed me.

I promised myself I would go into this with a positive attitude and with the intention to be as honest as possible. After going through the metal detector twice since they made be take my camera and eye glass repair screwdriver back to my car, I found a table near an outlet and waited for the employees to arrive to check us in. Slow moving line, but I've suffered worse. I was mostly concerned about losing access to an outlet, but victory and the last outlet was mine.

The nice lady next to me, whom I mentally classified as my new bunk mate, asked me if I had a dime she could swap for pennies. She wanted to avoid having to go to her car and subsequently be patted down by security again. I didn't need her pennies and the dime got her enough for her breakfast diet Coke. It was a small investment of good will. She watched my stuff as I used the restroom.

I thought books would be my way to kill time and I forgot that I need near silence to concentrate. For me reading cannot be done when you have a guy clearing his messages on his cell phone on full blast two seats away. On the other side, we had two women shooting the shit while the rest of us are trying to be lost in our own person spaces. It didn't even have to be a loud conversation because it's essentially a library where no one is trying to maintain a quite environment. Any sound is grating. So I gave up on my attempt at reading and brought out my podcasts. 

Wow, I'm spoiled. The cell phone guy was so loud and I did not want to destroy my future self's hearing so I gave up on the Sklar Brothers. (Temporarily. More on that later.) By this point I was already two hours into my day and trying to figure out what to do to get to lunch break. Then it hit me. When I was on a plane to Japan for eleven hours, I gave into my mostly denied inner gamer and played Bejeweled. Oh man, without even thinking about it, I had burned three and a half hours getting the shiny things to match up in shiny rows of three or more.

So in this waiting room of law and order (or I guess just order if you go by Dick Wolf shows) I got my phone out, found Angry Birds and attempted to catch up on my back log of uncompleted levels. It was only a blink of an eye to me, but twenty minutes later an announcement that our services would not be needed and we were free to go. I must state for the record that I understand how damn lucky I was that jury duty was such a breeze for me. Rather than return to work as a zombie and knowing that I would have to be there on the holiday on Monday......yeah.....I went home and took a nap. I would need my energy for my next adventure only a scant nine hours away......

Instant Substitution

Yeah, they're pretty much the same movie.

If they were sold out of Scarface, and were substituting Rock of Ages, I'd be outraged. But considering it's the other way around, that's okay. There was also a Magic Mike substitution, despite the fact that there was a copy right above the sign. Yes, naked Channing Tatum is totally the same as a Steve Harvey romantic comedy. Good job Target.