Going the Way of Brad Pitt

One might say that because it took an expiring movie pass to finally get my butt out and see a movie warrants the stripping of my title of entertainment junkie. Hell, I would say that. But we must not focus on this so much as this expired pass brought me into a movie that triggered a three hour post viewing discussion and the desire to tell everyone in my line of scope to see it immediately.

Now I am not experienced in the realm of Martin Scorsese. (If I'm not careful, by the end of this post, I'm going to lose my junkie status and get tarred and feathered in the middle of Grauman's Theater.) However, The Departed beckoned to me after the first trailer. How can you resist the concepts of two moles for both sides, inside the opposite sides trying to smoke out the other? Top it off with the stellar casting (the primary cast combined has won four Academy Awards and nominated for seventeen) and I knew I had to see this movie. And I was not disappointed. Like I said three hour discussion and recommendations all around. For the love of all that is holy, give that man an Oscar already. This movie even shot up the IMDB top 250 (it was 48 when I saw it and is as of today 62).

So what does this all have to do with Brad Pitt? A valid question. The Departed marks a very special point in the career of Leonardo DiCaprio. He is one respectable/excellent movie away from Brad Pitt status. Sill needs more explanation?

Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese, and Cameron Diaz promoting Gangs of New York at the 2002 Cannes Film Festival. Scorsese and DiCaprio’s most recent collaboration The Departed has resulted in DiCaprio’s one step below Brad Pitt status.
(The photograph is by Rita Molnár and is available under a Creative Commons License.)

First you have to assume Brad Pitt pre Mr. and Mrs. Smith and all that Brangelina stuff. Okay, when I was younger, my sister (and most of the female population) fell for Brad Pitt. He was that guy in Thelma and Louise and Legends of the Fall. I naturally didn't care. Then he was in Se7en. I thought the movie was awesome and was in it for Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman (you know, men with serious acting chops and not just washboard stomachs). By the end, I thought okay, he didn't screw it up. Then he was in Snatch and Fight Club. Clap, clap, clap, bravo, this guy isn't messing around anymore. Good job. Finally there was Ocean's Eleven. Damn! How the hell did Brad Pitt get so attractive? Oh right, he is respectable AND good looking now. That makes him ultra-attractive. And then he got involved in this tabloid thingy so now he's lost awesome points. But now you get my point.

The funny thing is George Clooney followed a similar path. Hated him when every woman on earth wanted to have his children. Saw Out of Sight and thought okay, he's not so bad. Saw O Brother Where Art Thou? and thought he's pretty good. By Ocean's Eleven he had won my respect. (But now he can do whatever he wants and his stuff isn't so great so he slipped of a bit on the awesome meter as well. Still has a lot of respect though.) I can't call it the Way of George Clooney though. That implies the TV to movie thing as well. Doesn’t work for what I'm trying to say.

Oh, just to complete my Ocean's Eleven, "when did they get so good looking?" circle. Matt Damon: From pretty boy status from Good Will Hunting (Which I did finally see and agree that it is an excellent and well crafted movie, but I didn't care for the women screaming oh my god, it's Ben and Matt look at them, they're so hot crap.) to hilarious in Dogma, to even more hilarious in that episode of Will & Grace, to attractive in Ocean's Eleven to respected in The Bourne Identity (to a running gag for all of my friends who have seen Team America World Police) to solidifying my respect in The Departed. In fact The Departed earned back the points he lost in Ocean’s Twelve. (That movie was a mess. I'm hoping you'll all make it back into my heart after Ocean's Thirteen. Go the Way of Die Hard, not The Godfather. But that's another post entirely.)

And as long as we are talking about The Departed boys, I must add special mention to Mark Wahlberg. You've come a long way since the Funky Bunch. My friends still crack jokes about that. If fact most recent was last night. But you get to have the last laugh. Though most didn't take you seriously in Boogie Nights, you did good. Three Kings, as well. Planet of the Apes, not so much. Rock Star, bad Mark Wahlberg! (SMACK) That's a very bad Mark Wahlberg. The Italian Job, now you're gaining some momentum. With The Departed, you're getting that respect. But you had me at Entourage.

So where does this leave DiCaprio? Well, he needs one more to solidify the respect. No more pretty boy from Romeo+Juliet and Titanic. Catch Me if You Can, I did enjoy. The Departed has you so close. Blood Diamond could do it, but I may be thrown by your accent and the subject matter. Maybe I'll throw you a bone and see how you did in The Aviator and Gangs of New York. (Oh, almost three hours each?) The Academy has yet to steer me wrong. Except for the whole popularity equals winning politics thing. And almost every best actress category winner for the last ten years. And come on already, give Martin Scorsese and Kate Winslet what they deserve already. Oh and finally settle that Marisa Tomei thing.....

Celebrity Sighting #7

Not much to report and this is actually a repeat sighting. I went to the Orpheum Theater in San Francisco to see Chicago (too many places involved). This particular show stars Mr. Huey Lewis as Billy Flynn. I guess watching the movie Chicago and having a couple songs from the soundtrack kind of messed up my complete enjoyment.

One of the many theatres I passed(but the only one I went into) in San Francisco today.

I was expecting the little details to still be intact but I guess that's just a little naive of me. I felt bad because based on the applause, the people where there for Mr. Lewis. It was a good show, though. Like I said, not much to report.

My List of Five, Version 2.0

It is time. After months and months of struggling and determined to not settle for just some guy to fill in the last spot, I have completed the second version of my list of five. As time goes on, you let go of the connections you have and open yourself up something new. I have to admit, it is mainly exposure. I see these men at least once a week and I love what they do. Ask anyone who has taken Psych 101. I have, so I'll just tell you, proximity breeds attraction. I think the same is true for those constantly on your TV. Okay, no more babbling, here they are (again, not ranked):

1) Hugh Laurie
2) John Krasinski
3) Jeremy Piven
4) Chris Meloni
5) John C. McGinley

So basically they play, in order, sarcastic asshole doctor, sweet paper supply salesman, asshole agent, tough as nails detective, and sarcastic jerk doctor. You may ask what is the difference between asshole doctor and jerk doctor? I don't know, but I had to show a distinction between the two. One saves lives and cracks jokes on a comedy that is at times dramatic and the other saves lives and cracks jokes on a drama that is at times hilarious.

I think the most dramatic addition is John Krasinski. He's only four years older than me as opposed to my average of twenty last list. AND here's the best part: he's not married. So you realize I might actually have a chance? ROCK! I have to say as Jim Halpert on The Office and as himself in interviews, I cannot resist his charm. He makes me feel warm and fuzzy. If you can watch on the show as he pines for Pam and not feel your heart sink, then you have no soul. That's right. I went there.

To those who are no longer on the list: I loved you once and I may love you again. Get back on my TV and you will have a better chance. But for now, I bid you farewell.

DVD Rant: I'm Extra Pissed Edition

I knew it was coming. I posted about it when I first heard the announcement. I wasn't even a victim of this the first time around. But I remain outraged. It could happen again and this time I may not be so lucky.

While many might be pleased that the original (i.e. Greedo doesn't shoot first) theatrical releases of Star Wars are finally available (though only for a limited time of course) on DVD, I remain skeptical. I have this theory that by the time Christmas rolls around, there will be a special double trilogy pack available with even more never before seen footage. You know like pictures of Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill playing rock, paper, scissors to see who has to help Peter Mayhew out of his Chewbacca costume.

You know what else set me off is seeing an advertisement for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest on DVD. The ad was fine, but it doesn't even come out until freaking December. DECEMBER! Those who want it are going to get it. Four hundred million worth of box office receipts prove that. They don't need an ad three months in advance to remind them that they need to buy it. But two weeks after they sell the DVD, they'll come out with a “Sunken Treasure Edition” with more discs and a special sneak preview of the third one. Then when all three are out, they'll sell the third one and then put together a trilogy package one month later that will include even more special features and little gifts in the packaging. With any luck it’ll include some sand, a lock of Johnny Depp's hair, and what's left of Orlando Bloom's manhood (Oh right, he lost that somewhere in between Troy and Elizabethtown).

I apologize but I'm tired of this release, hook, and re-release thing they have going on. I own some great movies. But apparently I have to go out and get the extra special version that wasn't originally available when I bought the first copy. I know they plan to do this with Kill Bill. Of course Tarantino will have a major set available. That's just his style. But I'm not playing anymore. I got Volumes 1 and 2 for twenty bucks and I'm done. Unless one of the special features involves a rebate of the full purchase price of the DVD, I'm not touching it.

I've been burned many times but even when I finally learned my lesson and waited for the special über editions, I got screwed again. Three films I have: The Professional Uncut International Edition, Robin Hood Price of Thieves Special Extended Edition, and T2 Extreme Edition have all pissed me off. Yes, the extra scenes the directors have put in are interesting, but this new cut is not the movie I watched many times and want to watch again. I have to do it in reverse now, where I need to get the bare bones copies if I ever want to see the cut I want.

When did they get it right? Wedding Crashers. The regular and the unrated (or in this special case Uncorked Edition) came out at the same time. But with Uncorked, I can decide which version I want to watch.

I take that back. Wedding Crashers got it right on the DVD part. But the Uncorked thing bothered me. Here's a note to those in charge of DVD releases. Calling it a "cute reference from the movie" edition is not cool. Pretty in Pink: Everything's Duckie Edition, not cool. Tommy Boy: Holy Scknikes Edition, funny, but not cool. Grease: Rockin’ Rydell Edition, NOT COOL. This one even came with its own jacket. But you have your choice of jackets. Now it's not even about the movie anymore.

So yes, I am outraged. And I know this will happen again and again. But don't worry. I'm not going to copy and paste this rant, add some paragraphs and post it again in six months calling it something new. There no cash in it for me. Even if there was, you deserve better.

An Ethical Dilema

When I first heard about it I thought it was a great creative idea. A film that lasts one second and the rest is credits. Hang on, there’s more. The credits consist of names of people who donated money to the making of the film (and which the proceeds go to charity). I think it's cool to have the chance to be apart of Hollywood even though I'm just a small town girl who will never live her movie star dreams (Especially the one with me in the hot tub with....oh, uh, never mind).

Now here was the best part of all. Those who are given producer credits can get their name on imdb. So I finally have my chance. I recently started a list of 100 (though I'm only up to 64 at the moment) things I want to accomplish before I die (my boyfriend thinks I'm morbid). The second thing on the list was to get a credit on imdb. (I always though I'd have to settle for miscellaneous crew under "Thanks" or something. I knew it would involve giving money or something, not being in the movie itself. I do, however have “be an extra in a film” as number one so I will make my mark eventually. Probably as Girl #3.)

I thought cool, I can finally get my name on imdb. And I can use the free link they provide on the 1 Second Film website to go straight to my web log. But then here's the problem. I want my real name to go on imdb. But this site is powered by my alter ego Angela Simmons. I don't want those worlds to collide. I thought perhaps I could buy two credits and give one to Angie. But them I stepped right in to my ethical dilemma. (For those of you nitpicking, yes, I’m speaking as me and not Angie right now but I’m having a dilemma, so bite me.)

I look to imdb for information and I don't want to soil it just so I can get my alternate ego some advertising. I know there are others out there who would just tell me to do it and stop complaining. (Charlie Kaufman's fictional twin brother Donald is credited on the site after all). But I know in my heart it's not the right thing to do.

The 1 Second Film includes celebrity producers such as Stephen Colbert, James Cromwell, Kevin Bacon, Christina Ricci, B.J. Novak, and many more. Copyright www.the1secondfilm.com

I know I'll come up with a solution eventually, but for the time being I think I should at least give some more web advertising to the people helping me fulfill my movie dreams. (Click on the picture to go their site.) Now if only someone would help me with that hot tub dream......

The Oh Yeah Phenomenon

Quick! Without cheating, name me three movies Sharon Stone has starred in. And you can only use movies with the words “basic” and “instinct” in it once.

It occurred to me that as much as I tried to jog my memory, I couldn’t do this. I looked her up and then it came flooding back to me. (But in all fairness, she hadn’t been in very many GOOD movies.) Sharon Stone is one of those people. Actors who you know by name but you couldn't name three movies they've been in. Donald Sutherland, Kyra Sedgwick, Dennis Quaid, Vincent D'Onofrio are a few more that spring to mind. Do you even realize that in 2004 Dennis Quaid was in four movies? These where bigger than normal movies and he had top billing. I guess the real problem is that after a year or so, no one remembers the movie and they really don't remember people in it. So in our heads the question eventually becomes, what HAS Dennis Quaid done lately? (At least for the movie geek at heart.)

Sure, she's pretty hot (and not just for someone her age), but what the hell has she been in?
(The photograph of Sharon Stone is by Rita Molnár and is available under a Creative Commons License.)

I’m calling this situation the “oh yeah” phenomenon. The “oh yeah” comes from having the information in front of you and finally remembering what you forgot. Without realizing it, it's popped out of your mouth. Like when my boyfriend somehow forgot Clive Owen was in the movie Sin City. (Especially since he's his favorite character in the movie.)

Part of this phenomenon is you forget the obvious movies people were and in and search the back of your mind for some obscure cameo they were in. The other day I was watching The Princess Bride with my mother and she kept saying over and over again that she recognized Buttercup from some movie but just couldn't remember it. I started to spout off some movies like Message in a Bottle, She's So Lovely, White Oleander but none rang a bell for her. Finally after crying uncle I looked her up. Remember that really popular Tom Hanks movie made about ten years ago that grossed like half a billion dollars (back when that was still impressive) and won a boat load of Academy Awards? Yeah I forgot that she was in that too.

I have found that the most likely candidate that causes this phenomenon has found their niche in other forms of Hollywood, but has also been in movies. Some have found their place in TV or doing voice over work. In general their movie spots just don't click.

Forget the obvious people where the name is bigger than the film: The Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, and that Clooney guy. This might work in the opposite sense. You know the name but can’t remember what they were in that made them so famous. Or you get flustered by the number of movies they were in and then don’t know where to start and draw a blank.

And forget about the actors that I mention that you only pretend to know who I mean and then scramble to imdb to find out who they are. Example: Alan Rickman, Alan Ruck, Alan Tyduk, or Alan Cummings (sense a theme going on?).

Some people you can instantly associate with a movie. Example: Jessica Simpson and The Dukes of Hazzard and Robert Patrick from T2. Let's face it, Harrison Ford is Harrison Ford, but Mark Hamill has a few more blockbusters to make before he sheds that whole Luke Skywalker thing. I do, however, give him extra points for being the voice of the Joker in the Batman cartoons.

These three examples do not count as part of this phenomenon. Don’t be fooled.

Don’t believe me? Just as a test: Name me three movies with Julianne Moore. When you’ve given up click here and scan the page. It may not come out of your mouth, but when you have that “oh yeah” moment, then you’ll know I’m not as crazy as I sound.

A Thank You to Advertisers

Well this is not to all of them. Especially not to those who came up with those Applebee's commercials with the two guys with guitars singing about salads and ribs to what was once enjoyable music. Or even before when they were no guys but the same butchering of good tunes with new food appropriate lyrics. Don't even get me started on that Kraft cheese one with the crumbled cheese being introduced as "crumbelievable".

No, this declaration of gratitude is to those ad men and women who decided to put the name of the song and the artist in the bottom corner of their commercials. Now I know in general it's a brilliant move to not only promote the product, but to spark (or in some cases renew) the public's interest in the song. But for me, it's time I don't have to spend on the internet trying to figure out what the hell that song was.

Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You listen for lyrical cues to type into google and pray you get a hit. Most of the time I have to scan message boards with no search options and recheck to see if what one person claims to be the song is actually right. Anyone who has watched an iPod commercial has done it and knows my frustration. To spare a few of you still looking, try Adtunes. They have a search engine and a lot of people have commented on the more popular and recent commercials.

For you hard core trailer watching types who have been searching for classical and instrumentals, I think a good starting point is Soundtracknet:Trailers. I'm weird and looked long and hard for the music from the movie trailers Unfaithful and Vanity Fair (that eventually became the theme to the TV show Cold Case). This site guided me to the song "Nara" by E.S. Posthumous. And if you want some good background music playing while you're hatching some diabolical scheme, listen to their song "Elba". So good.

It sounds like a bit much for trailer and TV music but trust me, there was a huge response to the music from the Spiderman 2 trailer ("Lacrimosa" by Immediate Music, another amazing source for trailer music). And I know I'm not the only one that loved the music from the Volkswagen commercials that came out about eight years ago. (The ones that stick out in my head: Sunday Afternoon featuring Trio’s "Da Da Da"; Synchronicity featuring a just getting started Sarah Clarke and Master Cylinder’s "Jung at Heart"; and Crazy Guys featuring Tony (Arrested Development’s Buster Bluth) Hale and Styx’s "Mr. Roboto". Feel free to blast me if I left out your favorite because I know I missed many.) And wasn’t it a Gap commercial that renewed the swing dance craze?

So the next time you hear a catchy tune on TV or in a movie and spend the next few months wondering what the hell it was, you'll understand why I'm offering my thanks to that little artist blurb in the corner. Now if only I could figure out that music from the TV spots of You, Me, and Dupree. (No, not "Stuck in the Middle" by Stealer's Wheel.) It's an instrumental tune that was also used in the trailer for the movie Dave. So anyone one want to help me out? There a gratitude post on this site in it for you. You tell me that's not tempting.