Stub Flub

I went to go see The Hobbit with my brother last Friday. I have a complicated history with the Lord of the Rings movies. I have gotten so much better in my older age, but it used to be I refused to see a movie with someone who had already seen it. In fact, I would be pissed if someone I knew had seen a movie before me. At the time, I was friends with so many nerds; of course they had all seen it without me. I went begrudgingly with two of my closest friends at the time.

When the next year rolled around, I had plans to see Two Towers with the above said friends, more of my friends and boyfriend. Stuff happened and I'm not proud of it, but the evening resulted in one of my most shameful drama fueled bull shit moments of my life. I didn't go and now I had no one to go with that fit criteria number one. I then "settled" for going with my brother, and Two Towers ended up being my favorite. Going with my brother became one of the most wonderful experiences of my life.

I would freaking get it right the last time, damn it! I would shake the Etch-A-Sketch and see a damn hobbit movie with my boyfriend and we would enjoy Return of the King. Well, even with at least the entire trilogy together as a couple, miscommunication happened and he went without me. FUCK! So I went with one of my Fellowship friends.

Well, here we are over a decade later. I've married that man and The Hobbit (eventual) trilogy would be our chance to enjoy Tolkien together on the big screen. Yes, we watch the trilogy every year together and bond in nerdiness, and I do not feel the need to wipe the slate clean, so much as celebrate how we (and by we, I mean I) have matured.

So those of you with comprehensive reading skills might be asking by now, if this was the wonderful chance to see big screen Tolkien together, what happened that you saw it with your brother? Excellent question, now calm down.

I see my brother maybe twice a year. Living across the country from each other will do that to your relationship. On his annual holiday trip, he floated the idea of seeing The Hobbit on my day off. Suddenly the need to do my Sheldon Cooper style movie preparation rituals were not as important as revisiting the Two Towers fun of seeing Middle Earth with my kin. Even better, I do not have to lie to him, so I didn't feel bad about my going to pee three times before the movie, sneaking in multiple types of food, and getting there early enough to pick the correctly angled seats. We even fought to see who would spring for the tickets. Though I felt a pang of missing my partner in dorkitude, I got to analyze after the movie and enjoyed he made a Duck Tales reference before I could open my mouth.

Here comes the shame. He bought the tickets, he kept the stubs. That should not bother me. However, the day before he left, I texted him and asked them if he had them and could he leave me one. He responded that he did not know where they were. This should not bother me. Then I was bothered that it bothered me.

I cannot pinpoint their exact location, but I have on my property every movie stub spanning over fifteen years of my life. Even before I was old enough to buy and therefore get the stubs, I had cut out the theater times in the paper and circled what I had seen. It's in a photo album now. I even know that the one time I uncomfortably went movie hopping with one my friend's groups, I was a little upset that when I saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, my damn stub said Miss Congeniality.

I have a freakish memory and when it fails me, I get scared. I don't like that this tiny slip of paper marking a wonderful occasion is causing me a lapse in sanity. So in an attempt to not let it bother me, I folder a Post-It in half and wrote down the movie title, theater, date, start time, and theater number (not the price, I didn't pay, but for the record, eight bucks). I folded it in half again and placed it in my wallet, where my stubs usually go. It will also be bound with my stack of lifetime stubs I still have.

Exhale. Having a record of the moment is what I need to keep this from bothering me. In fact writing about it is helping. It wasn't about a slip of paper. It was about geeking out again with my Two Tower companion. I wonder if Two Towers is my favorite because of my brother. Yes. And also this scene.

Evil on a Shelf

In my household, the elf on the shelf was actually many elves on the tree that my parents had as Christmas ornaments that they bought when they were living in Germany. I hated these damn things because I thought at night they would jump off the tree and kill me. These were ugly things. 

Years later when my father told me a rat had used our entire family collection of ornaments less ones made of the least edible material, I was saddened that many memories were going through the digestive system of a plague carrying bastard. For some reason I felt compelled to find something hideous to put back on my parent's Christmas tree. EBay was my salvation and I found a thing that I knew would ignite fear into the souls of my sibling's children.

Well, apparently this has been going on for years and someone has decided put a cute story to many minions of Satan and call it Elf on the Shelf. What is next? Leprechaun under the sofa?

 

Yep, I'm more scared of Felty McEvil than Warwick Davis.

I can understand many of the mothers I am friends with on Facebook are delighted to take part in this whimsy for their children because the anticipation of a shit load of presents is never enough. I'm trying to figure out how much therapy my sister went through to think this was a tradition she wanted to start.

Seriously people. I know some are out there who agree that this thing is creepy. Other mothers have risen in solidarity and shouted they do not need to add another thing to the already long list of chores to do at the end of the year. All I know is, even though a frightening elf remains a staple in my parents' house, there is no way in the hell this thing came from one will enter mine.

Celebrity Sighting #Bald

The husband and I ventured out to San Francisco on a Sunday night for the live taping of The Adam Carolla Show. I am very happy to see a comedy show this year as my sad pathetic goal is usually to see one during the summer, but missed out. The show was as I expected. Adam was funny and it was great to watch instead of just listen to him do his thing. Husband got to see Alison Rosen live and man, she has a dazzling smile. He and I are still Teresa Strasser fans, (considering she hugged us at Laughs for Bald Bryan and all, it's gonna stay that way) but I want to bring him into the new direction of Carolla.

Here's the kicker: as we walked into the club, Bald Bryan was meeting up with some of his local people and I got to(at the expense of the ticket taker's patience) shake his hand, told him I listened to The Film Vault that morning and say thank you. I think it's the most important thing to do to my podcast people. They need to know my gratitude that they continue to put out wonderful entertainment.  

 

This hand shook Bald Bryan's hand. What has your hand done lately.....wait, don't answer that.

Allow me to put my Thanksgiving spin on it. I am grateful for hundreds of hours of free entertainment from incredibly funny people. God bless them, most of them. Not Penn Jillette, though. He gets atheist blessings.

Celebrity Sighting #.....Fuck It

Bad me. That's a very bad me. I took my husband to Lake Tahoe to see Penn and Teller for his birthday....back in September. I haven't posted it because (enter excuse involving being busy, being indifferent, or the trip itself was a disaster of sorts involving travel woes, arguments, panic attack threats, and overall pain and suffering.) I should point out that husband and I do not like to travel very much. He commutes about four hours a day during the work week and I have built myself a comfy fort of happy. 

He wants to stay home on the weekends and I'm inclined to agree because I strive to maintain stasis. It has reached the point where I don't even like to go to the movies because I can't pause to get the drink or food I want or to go pee because the excitement is too much for me. We did, however, see Skyfall last night and I thank the movie podcasts hosts I listen to frequently because they have given me just enough information to know it's fine to go pee in the stylish opening musical sequence.

I do, however, need to document that for his birthday, I took my husband to see two of his atheist heroes perform live. It was a struggle to get there and it was glorious to return, but for two hours there was a excitement we got to experience. We got a wonderful show an I had the extra added bonus of watching someone I love so much have such a fun time. And if you can, check out Penn's Sunday School. He's preaching love, and don't be cynical. He is.

With Respect to the East Coast

Before the most recent new stories coming out about the many lives lost, I heard very little about Hurricane Sandy. In fact due to the headlines I saw, I thought Sandy was the name of some political candidate making an ass of himself.  When only a few things were reported, I was hopeful that the news people were just blowing things out of proportion as per usual and thought we'd all get through this okay like with El Niño. (That is, I got through it okay. My apologies to those who had to deal with destruction or loss of life.) Naturally my thoughts went to another instance of tragedy though. Enjoy as you feel appropriate.

 Some forget this entire sketch was great. Too bad what I could find it was only Farley's part.

But Halftime is When I Need to Pee

So much work and practice to go into an amazing thing and it's all just ten minutes. I think this deserves so much more applause than the Superbowl halftime shows. Especially the Black Eyed Peas one. And these guys don't even get paid. Let's celebrate their hard work.

Hey Everyone! Don't Look at Me!

My boss once said to me that no one over thirty should have a non-normal ringtone. Of course this was over four years ago and the theme from The Office was what told me someone wanted to chat with me. Oh, how the times have changed and now everyone in my office over forty has a personalized tone while I just have a default repetitive ring.

It may have to do with how easy it is to set up a personal tone. At least that would explain why my boss has ruined the beginning riff of Baba O'Riley for me. But why have I switched to a ringtone that screams "Hey you damn kids, get off my non existent lawn!"? Well, for starters, The Office jingle was fun, but since I don't watch it anymore, I feel like it isn't right to have that be my ringtone. I'm no longer The Simpsons girl I was in my youth despite the fact that tune is timeless. For a little while I had the theme from Entourage but that was me acknowledging this bond my brother and I had enjoying marathons of the show. After a while I felt like a poser using it. Since I got the new phone, I stayed on the most basic tune I could tolerate, though I did dabble with Mah Nà Mah Nà from The Muppets. (That got annoying after three calls).

What I've come to understand about me and personalization is that I like to blend in the crowd. I don't understand personalized license plates, bumper stickers that tell me that you're a closed minded douche bag (I'm translating the anti non Jesus ones.), plate frames that share that you whored yourself to your husband to get the car I'm behind, and so on. For a little while I needed a self esteem boost and put my University Alumni plate frame on my car of I can feel good about one of my greatest life accomplishments. Now I feel like I'm just trying to hold on to some glory of my youth. 

My wardrobe consists of just one T-shirt with writing on it.  I'm mildly uncomfortable wearing it because the display of my fondness for the geek culture is a little too "Look at me and the writing on my boobs!". That being said, you can be sure that I would never get a pair of pants that have "Princess" written on my ass. (Unless I was attempting to being a slut hipster.)

When I was planning my wedding, people kept trying to tell me that I needed a theme. The blogs kept showing these elaborate wedding decorations, invites, and cakes around one unifying pop culture reference or something. Cute for internet infamy, but I'm not sure how much I would like to be married by Admiral Ackbar.

I have friends with personalized plates and they are a special nod to them. It has to do with them and those don't bother me as much as the ones that have a vomit inducing seven character combo that they HEART their GR8 kids or something about their lord and savior. I think we need to go back to the days of it's no one's business, I think I'll leave these little things inside my head. That being said, I need to recheck my privacy settings on Facebook before I go submit my resume. That picture of me with a gun may give people the wrong impression. Or the right one.

Ewww...Disney

While on a trip to Fry's and hovering by the podium while three people attempted to authorize my requested price matching, I realized my elbows were on a list meant for inventory purposes. Fry's Electronics has been the spot of many computer, software, game, and DVD purchases in my adult life, but for those who do not know, they also have a special section for adults. They have the black plastic protecting the eyes of children who wander in, but it's a little fun at times to go in and think "some people pay for this?"

So this inventory list was filled with, you guessed it, DVDs with some amusing titles. Being an adult and all, I tried to ignore it, but it was more difficult to ignore (what I was assuming) two DVDs that were close to the list that I decided were returns and needed to be put back on the shelf. Looking closer I realized that one was not meant to be in the special section but was actually a Disney title that could be translated into porn. The best part was underneath it was a porn title that was taken from a popular Disney title. (I know it was public domain, but it was popularized by Disney.) This was the laugh I got for a very frustrating day. I'll let you enjoy it as well.

Can you imagine this in the Disney Vault?

Samples and Swatches

I have to give my love to Todd in the Shadows. Since watching his wonderful commentaries on pop music, my music wish list has grown. And a lot of the time, it is full of music I'm a little ashamed that I want. But in addition to that, my game of music roulette has morphed from will we hear Adele or Lady Gaga first to taking a running tally of songs reviewed by Todd to see which one wins.

His recent review of Pittbull's Back in Time (I must point out that I had never heard of Pitbull until I saw the review of Give Me Everything) had me revisit a previous observation I had that about remakes or songs that sample. When I was younger, I considered this practice blasphemy. I was too naive to understand this is a long time practice and sadly I admit that I was well into high school when I realized that Queen is responsible for Vanilla Ice's we'll call "fame". But many songs that I liked that I thought were pure were remakes of lesser know artists (I think is the best way to go. Enhance a little known song and improve. Or place a flavor and make it your own. It is really difficult to improve that which is already considered to be wonderful and what is the point if it is a generic version. Yeah I mean you, MADONNA!) So now that I've become less judgmental, I understand remakes and samples have their place in the world.

I will point out however, that most of the time remakes and samples not done with care will end up ruining both songs for me. If you did listen to Back in Time, the guitar riff from Mickey and Sylvia's Love is Strange is great. I do not know why he decided to take the same chorus and having a hard time figuring out how "you're the one" works with the rest of the song. I bet it was like the free pile at a garage sale. Pitbull was already picking so even though he didn't need it, he already stole the riff so might as well take the chorus. Well, the techno beat added to the song and speeding it up is now what has been pounded into my head. I'm a little ashamed to admit I like the song, but my husband points out that I like the original song so the sum of its parts is good if not better. But now if I go back and listen to the original, it's too damn slow for my enjoyment. So Back in Time leaves something to be desired and Love is Strange is too slow to be enjoyed. Screw you Pittbull. And while I'm at it, fuck you Sean Kingston for killing Ben E. King and a mild slap on the wrist to Me First andtThe Gimmee Gimmees for Walking on Sunshine. I like that song, but their version isn't on the radio as much as their now too slow predecessor. 

Some do get it right. The Fugees' Killing Me Softly does not step on Roberta Flack's version. The Fugees changed the pace but since it did not speed it up the delicacy of Roberta Flack's version remains in tact. In fact, they sped it up in some spots and slowed it down in others so how can we be pissed? Well, my mom is, but that's okay.

Lesson is be original, people. You will not have this problem with an original idea. You'll have other problems, but still. I know that it is difficult to hear a declaration to be original from someone who is half ripping off Todd in the Shadows. Fine, I'll take off my mask (As far as you know).

Magic Abs

The other night I had a dream that it would be a good idea to see Magic Mike. I do not care for Channing Tatum and he kind of annoys me because for someone who is very famous, he hasn't been in very much (sort of like Clive Owen) and it makes it difficult to explain who the hell he is. My husband thinks Dakota Fanning every time his name comes up. Makes sense since they both have last names as first names.

I think the hard part of the male stripper movie is that I will probably see this before Goodfellas or Apocalypse Now. Before you take away my Entertainment Junkie status, let me point out that these are very important movies that I hesitate to watch because they are considered to be holy in many circles. The last time I watched a movie that fit into the category of excellent film making, it was Glengarry Glen Ross and it hurt me to watch it.

I'll call it a great film, but I do not want to watch important films with my tiny window of time between work and sleep. I want to laugh or feel more than vicarious desperation. I will admit that while my time is precious, I took a weekend to watch three Twilight films. Again, before the outrage comes out, they were laced with Rifftrax. I made a decision to be an informed hater of Twilight and the jokes inter-spliced made it possible to not want to kill myself like Bella tried in the second one(or something).

You may be thinking, oh sure, you have time for the movies with guys who are constantly shirtless, what's up with that? Coincidence. I find that movie pulp seems to include shirtless men since women seem to have money too. Also, you people are sick because Taylor Lautner was underage in those movies and you know with my Josh Hutcherson crush, I like them legal and not Taylor Lautner. I sway more in the direction of Doctor Vampire or Mustache Dad. The point is they all have their clothes on so leave me alone.

God Bless Garfunkel and Oates

Eventually I will get to my post about the politics of Facebook and what one should post, but because the majority of my Facebook friends are mothers, it is best my thoughts are here instead.

Garfunkel and Oates have wonderfully captured my pain and put it in a song that had me feel a little better after having issues on Mother's Day. I had a theory that Mother's Day is to Valentine's Day as non-mothers are to singles, but then my husband pointed out that it shouldn't be non-mothers, it should be orphans. (This also explains why he did so much better on the SATs than I did. Also, I didn't study.)

So I would like to extend my gratitude to these two fantastic artist that have put a great spin on my issues. They are helping me not hate and instead laugh. 

Choices...Take Them Away!

May has been a tough month for me. I was anticipating the graduations and confirmations for months in advance so watching family members transition from one part of life to another was an expected punch to my brain. What I didn't expect was to come home to my husband with a concerned, but strangely happy look on his face with the news that he was to be laid off in two weeks. The smile was from all the perks they were throwing at him before they gave him the boot. "No paycheck, but whatever you can carry out of your office that isn't bolted down is yours." 

For two weeks I went through a nervous period of preparing myself with being the sole breadwinner. To soothe my control freak, my husband began his job search and through a series of calls, interviews, and negotiations, was hired on with a new company making very much more money and receiving better benefits. My sigh of relief very quickly turned into a downward spiral of cries from depression. What I knew since the day I met him was smacking me in the face eleven years later. This man has more potential, intelligence, and will accomplish more than I could ever hope. That's why I locked him down early while he was an insecure mess of a college freshman.

Of course this is good news for us and our familial unit. But as a hard nosed, "get the hell away from me I can do it myself" girl, this was a huge blow to my ego. My mother-in-law without knowing how much this has damaged my self esteem keeps telling me that it's okay, and he can take care of us when it's time to.....It occurred to me she hasn't blatantly stated let the man take care of you, and make some babies, but the words don't have to come out of her mouth for the message to sting my uterus.

So baby issues, job issues, I've taken a few blows from work it make me realize that I'm horribly unhappy there, but I've been testing myself to see what the breaking point is to leave a well paying job five minutes from home. Seeing other people's successes are enough to make me cry and throw tantrums like a five year old. Hearing my sister ask me what's wrong and relieved that it's only about work crushes me even more and teaches me that my first instinct to never share my petty problems with people who have children (and therefore real problems) was correct.

This has become a bit heavy for an entertainment blog so what is my point in sharing all this? Well, back in September I received a "gift" of a newspaper subscription from my boss. I quote the word gift because my boss didn't tell me when the paper started to come to the office that is was for me. When he did, he told me that he got it from my other bosses son's fund raiser, he already got the paper so, you know, Merry Christmas. Then December 28th rolled around and I realized he wasn't kidding. That was my Christmas present. It is a great present in general, but it was a steak served to me on a trash can. I keep getting letters telling me my subscription is about to end and I couldn't be happier because during my busy period I'm letting them stack up and can't get to them. I hate being wasteful and I will read all the articles I can. 

This weekend I left the office with a two week's worth of pile in the corner. I was pissed that I forgot them at the office and couldn't use the weekend to catch up. So I walk in and the pile is gone. It occurred to me that the cleaning service people saw them next to the recycling bin and not in their usual pile next to my filing cabinet so they gathered them up and took them away. Before I get judged that the maid stile my precious not appreciated present from my diamond encrusted cubicle, everyone shut up, this is my life.

I was pissed for about five seconds because my project was taken from me. Then I was happily relieved. Something thrown on me that I just let accumulate like the very reason I avoid a Netflix subscription was taken from my possession, against my choice, and it is glorious. If you were to read the blog Get Rich Slowly, this would be referred to as The Tyranny Of Stuff. But for me it was the Tyranny of Choice. I was happy to have this tiny burden lifted from me. It now makes me sad to have such a small thing bring me such great comfort. 

Sort of a sad commentary on my life as of late. But I will find courage to face my well paid husband and show him that if he wants to take care of me, he can go fuck himself. I'm just kidding, my husband is very supportive my bringing home the Bacos.

My Gift, My Curse

One of my oldest and closest friends celebrated her birthday last week. I'm having issues. This has been a problem for a while. Gift giving is a competitive sport for me with no other participants. Her husband had a birthday back in February and my issues were minimized because the stakes were lower. We got him a book and a DVD. 

But I had to think was this a book he'd enjoy? There is no guarantee that he would just because he liked the author. Also, it's only available in hard cover, and that's a pain in the ass. Would have he preferred the electronic format and does he even have an e-reader? Fortunately, I knew he is a collector and would want a prominent copy on his bookshelf, but the only copy we could find at Target had a slashed cover. Who the hell knows if a copy was at Barnes and Noble and how much more we'd have to pay out of the ass to get it?

After all that was said and done, he posted on Facebook that it was his favorite book to date. SCORE. But my brain did not stop the train wreck of getting someone a gift. What to do when they are done consuming it and the space it takes up? Do they want a hard or digital or both copy of it? What happens when I give them something they have never experienced and it turns out they don't like it and I've wasted their lives with the experience? A gift is a very personal thing to me that says so much about my relationship with a person. And this is coming from someone who grew up exchanging cash with her parents for Christmas.

So back to my friend. During her birthday celebration we talked about how she has so little time to go out and do things since having her daughter. Not to mention a random conversation came up about not buying the things you have functional but not fun versions. I know I shouldn't give a crap if the knives and forks aren't a matching set since I have them, but something about that set of eight with matching serving utensils is so great. Damn girly shit. Finally, the conversation of being sick and tired of shopping at Winco because it's filled with...ummm...less desirable people. Okay, ghetto people. 

So my brain has gone in several directions of getting her a gift card to Raley's for a ghetto free shopping experience. Then it went to a matching set of glassware and utensils so she can get that which she never thinks to get herself. They there's the old standby of a gift certificate to get her a manicure and pedicure while getting her mom to watch the baby so she can relax for an hour. Let's not forget my uber-grandma version of a gift of shaving a payment off her student loan. What about all of the above? But them am I an asshole for going too far? It is my business to buy someone kitchen stuff without consulting their preferences? And grocery shopping is not gift (as I've heard from normal people. I still have starving college student thoughts I can't shake.) so much as a chore. And her mom is very busy right now. And how can I really organize that as if it's gift to take her child away? What if her husband and her have plans that day and I'm butting in? And student loans shit? That's not supposed to be my business. What ever happened to the ’80s reference T-Shirt gift? Oh, right, never been my style. I got them a Britta pitcher for Christmas. Someone help me.

If it's the thought that counts, I'm missing the point entirely and giving the most elaborate gift ever. It does not help that I want to give the world to everyone. That is everyone who means the world to me. Thank goodness it's only a handful of people. And most of them take cash.

Author's note: I realize that I have a similarly titled post from 2007. However the content is different and the stats provided show no views, so suck it. I'm leaving this as is. Wow, I have anger issues with my non existent readers.

Mind Games Make Me Hungry

I'm trying to avoid the media frenzy of The Hunger Games being released in less than twelve hours. I've read one review and that's all I'd like to do. I want to do the best that I can (despite the many times I've watched the trailer and a few clips) to go in pure. And by pure, I mean I read the book and will of course compare. I'm debating taking some time off work to see it early Friday afternoon. It should say something that I'm willing to go to the damn theater. I will not say that this is the thinking person's Twilight because thinking people would not dare have any reason to compare this to Twilight.

Here's the deal. After seeing the first trailer after fully consuming the trilogy I knew without hesitation that I would develop a crush on the actor playing Peeta. Hell, I already had a crush on Peeta. It was a natural transference. It came up in conversation with my husband and the second it came out of my mouth, I demanded that he go on IMDb to make sure I was not about to have a crush on a minor and have to lock myself up until he was legal. With this type of story telling, I might just (okay, I already do) have a crush on Jennifer Lawrence. It is difficult admitting this considering I have a long history of hating celebrities my age, let alone many, many years younger than me. But if the talent is there, let go of your hatred.

So being in the clear, I spoke of my (SIGH) Team Peeta affiliation with my sister who introduced me to the books. And by that, I mean she was a legitimate source that these are good instead of the books shoved into my face like a good chick book frenzy does. Actually, her endorsement came from saying it was not like Twilight and she is a fan. She said confidently you Hunger Games is no Twilight. After gushing that Woody Harrelson as Haymitch is the greatest casting idea since Kelsey Grammer as Beast, (Quick, someone come up with an amazing role for George Wendt!) she aligned herself with Team Gale.

I balked as I was not attached to Gale nor did I find a real reason to become attached. Many days later I read about Liam Hemsworth and girlfriend Miley Cyrus and felt once again to go into that "not until you're not a pedophile room" and sob, but instead thought how can I really have a crush on someone that not only has touched Miley Cyrus, no doubt the same day she was near a penis cake, but... wait I'll stop there.

Get off him you bitch! What?..... Oh. Never mind. He's all yours. (Image stolen from the internet here.)

My slip into my mother's territory of not knowing actor's names off the top of my head lead me to many uncomfortable days of thinking my beloved Peeta was portrayed by Thor's little brother, and not Josh Hutcherson. I blame the fact that their natural hair colors are the opposite of their characters.

 As Ricky Bobby once insightfully said, "Please be eighteen." (Image stolen from the internet here.)

For a time longer that I am comfortable admitting, I was pouting over this and didn't want to fall for Peeta in real time since I'm a fourth grader and am upset he touched that icky girl. I'm in the clear now, but what the hell is wrong with me?

Discomfort aside, I will pull myself up by my anxiety medication, make the trip to the discounted movie theater as to not get raped by box office prices, and enjoy this damn movie. I fear that in the coming month I will admit that I missed the movie in theaters and instead will just have to wait until DVD. But if there will be one straw that will get me to that large screen it will be two words: THE TOOCH!

Comedy In Moderation

I heard a rumor (and hopefully it will stay this way) that a Dwight Schrute spinoff is being considered. (Yes, I realize I can figure out the legitimacy of this rumor with a quick Google search, but I like to live in this small world of hope.) I enjoy Dwight's antics and he has made me laugh, but I imaging that the only way for this to be successful is if some other character can steal this show away from him. Dwight in the spotlight is too much. I've done research on this. 

Okay, not research, but I've done a sort of Doug Benson Build a Title style chain of how this doesn't work. I start with Adam Sandler.

Ben Stilller stole from Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore.

Will Ferrell stole from Ben Still in Zoolander.

Steve Carell stole from Will Ferrell in Anchorman.

Seth Rogan  stole from Steve Carell in 40 Year Old Virgin.

Jason Segal stole from Seth Rogan in Knocked Up.

Russell Brand stole from Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Russell Brand was also in Arthur with Jennifer Garner who was in Juno with Dwight Schrute himself Rainn Wilson who was in Super with Kevin Bacon!

I went off the rails because I have not seen Get Him to the Greek, or Arthur and I'm not sure how the comedic stealing works when Jonah Hill is the real comic in charge and according to reviews, Arthur wasn't funny so how can you steal from it? I suppose the point is I'm happy that comedic big shots allow their cohorts to shine not truly realizing a little it being taken from them.

I guess a better lesson here is if you have all your ducks in a row Frasier style and give the familiar character some good people to work with, you can have a good thing develop. If you pluck a beloved character(I use this loosely) and put him in a new scenario so hijinks can ensue, get ready for a mid season replacement pronto.

Oscar Poop

Did anyone else notice that two of the nominees for Best Supporting Actress are both for roles of women who have a memorable scene involving poop? While these are two talented women that shared the screen together in The Nines, this of all things is what I noticed. I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be Octavia Spencer that will take home the prize even though Melissa McCarthy is quite funny in her role. 

I am pleased to see Gary Oldman get his first nomination even though he will lose to resident prom king George Clooney. I want "Muppet or Man" to win best song. This is kind of a strange and uneventful Oscar year. Will Jonah Hill get a big head now that he's lost all that weight and has an Oscar nomination?. I think Martin Scorsese has won the "He made it, slap an Oscar nomination on it like he's Steven Spielberg, (though ironically, let's leave Spielberg out for War Horse)" seal of approval. Kristen Wiig is getting Oscar recognition and didn't have to go Bill Murray or Eddie Murphy serious on us. (I bet she'll lose to Woody Allen so the balance is restored.)

I'm praying that one of these I have never heard of them so they must be foreign animated movies wins since it's  Kung Fu Panda 2, Rango, and Puss in Boots for best animated movie? And lastly, we now live in the world of Academy Award nominated Transformers: Dark of the Moon. I know it's a sound thing, but come on. My heart hurts. 

Oh well, I look forward to ignoring the telecast and refreshing my IMDb page that night.

SOPA, PIPA, Ppppppppbbbbtttttt!

I was just reading that the English Wikipedia will shut down for 24 hours in protest of SOPA and PIPA. (Read a message from the Wikimedia Foundation Executive Director here.) It is my understanding that Amazon and eBay have plans to do the same. I'm all for taking huge steps to make a point and I applaud these organizations (if they follow through) for doing this to send a message. 

However, like when the power goes out, how many times am I going to walk in, flip the switch and forget again what's happening? I need to order a new battery from Amazon and if I forget, I'll be pissed that I have to try really hard to remember again to make the order after the protest is over. (Man, I love my problems.)

I read that SOPA has been stopped yesterday, (Article I read here.) but the more I read other sources, it's been put on hold for the time being. I hate the idea that there is this hope that this bill is going away but then will be shoved in the back somewhere and passed with a Stop Killing Innocent Babies Bill. (Stole that one from Christopher Titus's podcast. Credit where credit is due.)

This use of the Internet and social media to create a frenzy has so far cancelled proposed debit fees, Verizon "because we can" fees, and something about helping other countries throw out horrible dictators in power. During Barack Obama's administration people will focus on how bad the economy is though so many are just running away from their financial responsibility and he's not really the reason for the fall of the country. At the same time, this is the the most amazing time to watch the people, not lobbyists or subcommittees get so much done by using their voice. Technology makes voices louder by giving them access to others also willing to fight. He doesn't get credit for this amazing show of the little man telling the government what is best for the country. 

What is my point? None really. I have thoughts to sort out, Internet videos to watch, liberties to exercise, and whether or not SOPA comes back with a vengeance, I will stand with my Internet brethren to make sure we do not lose one more freedom. Just remind me on my Facebook page so I know it's time to fight.