Harry Pottter and the Freaking Five Hours at Borders

Warning: This article may contain spoilers if you read too much into everything.

For some reason I think I should be doing these things. That I would be part of history if I stand and wait until the stroke of midnight for the first wave of books released. My boss told me that at my age, I should be waiting for something like concert tickets. He's right. But I don't do concerts. Now when The Simpsons Movie comes out you can be sure I'll be at the midnight screening in costume. (Seriously. If hobbit and wizard geeks get to do, then I can show up in a theater dressed up as Duffman.) I was out to get the book right away for two very specific reasons. One, I do not want to have the ending spoiled for me. Damn internet has damn blabbermouths. Used to be you could shut yourself in and didn't have to listen to those you did not want to. But now some guy in New Jersey can put something on the internet and while I look up what episode of Law & Order is on tonight, I see tonight's mini marathon involves an homage to Jerry Orbach and Harry Potter may they rest in peace. Wait, what? That might sound crazy, but it has a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon quality to it and on the internet, it can make sense. Especially in New Jersey.

All I have to do now is avoid the spoilers for The Sopranos and I'm set.

Two, for some reason, I must finish this book before my eleven year old niece. Why? I don't know exactly. The sad pathetic answer is that I'm an adult and I should have access to and get to do fun things before she can. I must know how it ends before she does. I saw the fourth movie before her and I HAVE to read the last book before her. Petty, sad, yes. But true.

That's it. For that reason I got to Borders at 9:30PM and thanks to some sort of line system (involving colored bracelets and numbers) I'm still trying to understand, ended up leaving with my book at 2AM. There was supposed to be some sort of party thing with a spelling bee and costume contest or something. I don't know, I was looking forward to the festivities but instead just ended up ducking into one section of the bookstore at a time wherever there was space and gabbed what sounded interesting off the shelves. I felt bad for the mess left for the store staff (Not left by me. I've worked in customer service. People can be bastards, really. I refuse to be that bastard.) It ate up my weekend, but I finished it. I'm not a die hard fan, but I will say that it's good storytelling. That is hard to find. I didn't get the ending spoiled. I think that's the important part. And yes, I did beat my niece to the ending. Whooo, I can read faster than a fifth grader (well, sixth in the fall). Someone sign me up for that show.