Celebrity Sighting #Whaaaaaat? No......

I already got to gush over the Comedy Film Nerds when I saw them last August. For Christmas, my husband gave me an unlimited pass to SF Sketchfest. One of my choices was the CFN live podcast and it ruled. I listened to them announce their guest list on an earlier podcast and they said Mark Wahlberg. My instant reaction was "please don't be the real one.....please don't be the real one.....".

Yeah okay, but not quite who I wanted to meet.

Oh yes, sports fans, after the show I got to meet fuckin Mahrk fuckin Wahlberg. I got to shake his hand, tell him I hoped the real one wasn't scheduled, and become very excited at the end of the show when Steven Seagal made a last minute special appearance. For those of you who do not know the talents of Dan Van Kirk, I strongly suggest you listen to Sklarbro County and take in all of this awesomness.

You're welcome.

On a final note, I was a little embarrassed that I didn't know it was a wig.

January Movies & Book(s)

So after my disastrous choice my husband took week two. He thought we should watch It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. While I get that it's a classic and it is amazing that all of these actors were in one movie, I didn't enjoy as much as he wanted me to. I have this talent for fixating on one point and in this case I didn't enjoy people trying to screw each other over for the possibility of a fortune. In fact my observation was that the elbows and shoving and pointless greed can be see in footage of a Walmart on Black Friday.

 Nominated for one Oscar.

Sadly, we let a week slide but got back on the wagon with The Wolverine. It was a more thoughtful superhero movie as most are trying to be, but to me not worthy to watch again. On a personal mission to see a movie a week on my own, I saw Austenland. Okay, I am falling victim to the Mormon girl porn. No touching, no kissing, just quietly falling in love and making sweeping declarations that will be rejected and misunderstood, but then ultimately redeemed. Yeah, watched it many times. Skipped to the parts that would give me lady, ummm, tingles(don't judge). Then in a fit of stupidity got the book. 

Yes, the more you watch and the more you read, the more you see the cracks in the foundation and I'm starting to understand why this is a bad movie and a bad book. But like the men and their non-sexual guy porn, let this time wasting fun go on. I want to see bad true love bloom and win. Screw you certain parts of Love Actually. 

I suppose that could count as my book for the month, but my official choice was Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons, Tales of Redemption From an Irish Mailbox, by Greg Fitzsimmons. I will say that my experience with reading Carolla books, this is not just a rehash of radio bits. These are personal stories, some I've already heard and some that go deeper. I enjoyed it and it's well written, but I do not necessarily recommend it to the casual reader. I do recommended it to Fitzdog fans, but no need to, because they most likely have already read it.

Finally, my husband's second choice was Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I was happy to have the story end at the end of the movie. No to be concluded in 2015 crap. Yes it was okay, but I'm tried of the action sequence, pause action sequence, ect. formula. I'll say that I came out watching this movie realzing that me and my husband have a bad habit of finishing a movie then abandoning each other for TV Tropes and Wikipedia to read more about the movie.

So, a mostly miss set of choices for January. My instainct to pick Oscar winners burned me in the beginning, so as you see I am treading lightly for now. I must declare soon. Don't want to get stuck in another three hour epic. Though I bet I'll laugh more during Hamlet. (To be fair, I'll just be thinking of Rosencarl and Guildenlenny.)

2014 Resolution

I blew my "Do not eat fast food" resolution on January 3rd but I still have hope that I will pull through with the resolution I made with my husband. We blew this challenge a while ago, but are at it again. 

We will watch one movie a week together this year. Starting on Monday one of us gets the whole week to chose a movie that we will watch together. It must be one that at least one us us has not seen, and if we do not declare out choice by Saturday night, the other gets to steal. We flipped a coin and I got to chose first. I picked The Wolverine.  I did not get to the Redbox in time so instead I picked up Django Unchained and This is the End with Django being my choice. 

SIGH. Now that I have experienced Django, my soul needs to be scrubbed cleaned. I had to ask to pause it and get my self together a couple of times. It just felt so upsetting and I reached the point where I wonder if I need to see these types of movies. I don't see horror movies anymore because they upset me. I'm mostly not a fan of revenge movies because I tend not to be happy about the comeuppance so much as linger on the dark nature of humanity that feels they can wrong others in such a horrible way.

Noting my depression as the credits started, my husband quickly gave me a mulligan and let me claim This is the End as my pick for the week. And because people are not responsible with someone else's property, the disk skipped constantly one hour in and we could not finish. I called customer service as I didn't want to toss the disk back in the machine so someone else could get screwed. They flagged the disk and I think my duty has been done.

Week one is completed, but at what cost? I thought I would finally have an excuse to see There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men finally, but if the dramas are going to drag me down, I'm not sure I'll want to continue. I think resolutions are supposed to make you better, right? Well, I also promised myself a book a month. I could cancel this stuff out with books from my favorite comedians. I don't want to fall into the books like In Her Shoes. Sisters don't get along, like me and my sister, sound good. Wait mother committed suicide? Uggg, why must I have this compulsion to complete these books once I started?

Overthinking Dancing

A friend of mine from high school never fails to crack me up with random observations on Facebook. He and I were really good at these observations and pop culture references and even now on opposite sides of the country, he has me thinking about the best dance sequences.

To be fair, we were discussing our high school reunion and how so many people were disappointed by the small scale gathering we had. I liked it as it was much cheaper and I have the internet to keep in touch with the people still worth talking to. My thought was most people were disappointed because they expected this Romy and Michelle type confrontation and then we'd break out into a dance sequence. He, being crazy like me, asks which one we'd do. He went with Encino Man.

 

Excellent choice, sir.

D'oh, now it's game on. My first thought was the one from Can't Buy Me Love. I know it's a deep pull, but it was dumb and for some reason I wanted one that had everyone joining in instead of the focus being on just a few. (The whole damn movie is on YouTube but I have it on the right spot here.) So then what, Breakfast Club? Ferris Bueller? Well, maybe just for kicks, the Saturday Night Fever parody from Airplane! but only after the guy gets stabbed?

 

An oldie but goodie.

I had to act fast as the joke get less funny as more time passes. I know because Greg Fitzsimmons just said it on his Jason Ellis episode that I listened to last night. I got distracted by the sequence from 500 days of Summer and remembered that JGL needs to go on my list of five. Finally, with confidence I made my choice.

 

How can you wrong with Mark Fucking Wahlberg?

The internet gives me so much to distract me. I simultaneously thank and curse it. On a final note, I love this video I found. Enjoy.

 

Just like my wedding day.

Hearts to Hardwick

First a confession. I remember when I was younger, I felt a pang of sadness when I found out an older actor had died. I was in my early teens and very vividly remember my sister being very short with me and asking me why I cared. Today I strained my brain to remember who had died. First I thought it was Gregory Peck, but saw he died in 2003. Then I thought maybe Cary Grant, but I would have been three at the time. Then I googled It's a Wonderful Life and yep, Jimmy Stewart in 1997 is an classic actor that died around the right time. Wow, so callous, but I think I figured it out.

Yes, I never knew Jimmy Stewart personally and I didn't even see many of his movies. Recently a good friend's father died and I suppose that sadness I got when I heard the news was based on knowing someone I love was going through a difficult time. And as of now, my sister and I are on better terms so I know she wouldn't be snippy if I were to ever mention it.

But then last week I read that Billy Hardwick died. Here I am stuck between the two scenarios where I've listened to every Nerdist Podcast (less the Vince Gilligan episode due to Breaking Bad spoilers) and know so much about Chris Hardwick like he's a good friend in a one way mirror. I feel bad and wish him peace even though we have never met. (Well, we met once at his book signing, but you know what I mean.) His show got renewed and his birthday is today and I'm just thinking that I hope he's doing well and he's surrounded by real support. 

It doesn't make me creepy stalker fan lady, but it still feels strange to be emotionally invested like this. All though, some people are really obsessive about Han shooting first and are devastated about certain characters that were killed off in Game Of Thrones, so I guess I'll be okay for now.

Black Friday Shoes

This year I made the decree that I will NOT subject myself to Black Friday shopping this year. That is, I will not stand in line to save five dollars on a pair of shoes. When I made said decree, my husband said he wanted to go out into the craziness, but not buy anything. Or more accurately, not stand in line like an idiot.

I shopped for ten minutes and was in line for an hour and ten last year in just one store. And just this morning, I stepped in dog crap. I hate that millisecond of debate if it's worth it to clean the treads or just declare shoe bankruptcy and toss them. One time I tossed a pair and then later that day dug them out of the trash to clean them.

The point is that pair of shoes that I stood in line for were now my back up shoes while my hopefully no longer stinky pair air out. They have been demoted to the back up pair. I should learn from this moment that no item is worth the time wasted in line.

I appreciate the people working in retail posting on their Facebook walls that they are making a similar decree because people should be home with their families instead of helping cheap obsessive bargain hunters buy crap they don't need. I think people can do what they want. I personally have just decided that I do not want to be a cheap obsessive bargain hunter buying crap I don't need this Black Friday. Wish me luck.

Coincedence?

I was listening to The Film Vault last weekend and Anderson flixfessed the movie The Last Supper. I saw this movie a few years ago and remember the premise but didn't remember the end. Had to go on Wikipedia to remind myself what happened(spoiler alert: everyone dies). And then a few days later, Jonah Ray mentions it on Tte Nerdist Podcast. It blew my mind that this random movie was mentioned twice by unrelated podcasts. I only noticed because it's not like it's national news (or even odd silly news), but just this older movie and one of the podcasts isn't movie related.

Then I saw an ad for the movie Last Vegas and immediately called it Vegas Space Cowboys. You know, old guys getting together for one last big blah blah blah. Then I had to think if any of the guys were in both and how many Oscars are we talking about? Well, Michael Douglas, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline have a total of six wins and fifteen nominations. Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones, James Garner, and Donald Southerland have six wins (including one honorary) and fifteen nominations. 

By the way, I am proud I could name the actors and mostly nail the awards (though I was off based on the whole producer crap) with a small assist from IMDb. The nomination for best sound editing for Space Cowboys does not count in this calculation. Nor do the wins and nominations of the others beyond the top four(sorry James Cromwell and Marcia Gay Harden). Also I'm not going to break it down into acting, directing, producing because Eastwood and Douglas have non acting awards.

And after the final count I just realized how cool it is that the numbers match. Last Vegas is more spread out and Clint Eastwood is doing most of the lifting for Space Cowboys (sorry Donald Sutherland).

But just to blow your mind, when I was young, I read in the newspaper an article about the movie Heartburn starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep. They have since been nominated and won more awards since I read it, but as of today, the have a total of six wins and twenty-nine nominations. Just for fun, if you throw in Kevin Spacey who plays "Subway Thief" you have eight wins and thirty-one nominations.

You see where my brain goes when I let it and have an internet connection to look things up? Man, I need a new hobby. Or a real one. Oh, but the point of me bringing up The Last Supper and Space Cowboys is that I thought Last Vegas was Vegas Space Cowboys. Well, then I walk into my local deli this week and see it playing on the TV. Spooky? Crazy? Random? Yes to all, but now that I wrote about it, I can move on. Stupid award and nomination mental side track. Still cool though.