One Ring To Make Fun Of

Before he was my husband, my boyfriend made a pseudo tradition to watch the entire extended edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy during Christmas time. I sort of liked this idea and would join him. Now that I have accepted his two rings, for some reason, I have fully embraced this now tradition and have transformed it to become more amusing than anything else.

When I first saw the movies in theaters, it was very easy to take the "gay hobbit" and "damn, Legolas is pretty" perspectives. It was compounded by two friends that were louder than me and we never looked back. However, as the count of times I've consumed these movies gets higher, I grew wiser and realized gay jokes lose their giggle factor after a while, Legolas is pretty like a woman, and holy crap, Karl Urban is dead sexy.

My point is, if this is going to be a yearly event where I annoy my children when I brake out the DVDs (or implant entertainment chips depending on when I finally bring life into this world) I need to step up my game and channel my inner Mike Nelson (or Joel Hodgson if you have issues with Mike.)

And so began my attempts to make my husband genuinely laugh instead of roll his eyes. I even started to pick up on the actual plot instead of waiting for the ring to burn in the fires of Middle Earth hell (spoiler alert!). I asked nerd questions and started to see the amazing layers delicately depicted.

But here's something I'm wondering. With The Hobbit being released next December and that being two parts, are we to add that to the yearly viewing? If so, when will I have time to wrap presents and resent Christmas? And in what order do we watch? What if it's like Phantom Menace and we have to pretend it never happened? I highly doubt it since we have the same person directing and George Lucas does not have his sweaty hands on it. But a girl can fear, can't she? And how am I supposed to cheer for Martin Freeman when I know he becomes sort of a douche later? Lord knows I never cheered on Darth Yippee, I'll Strangle My Wife So No One Else Can Hurt Her Skywalker.

Yeah, I guess I'll just have to wait it out. Before I know it, it'll be time for idiots to stand in line for a two dollar toaster again and I'll be proclaiming Frodo and Sam had the gayest bromance ever. That's gay in a pejorative sense, not homosexual. That makes it better, right?

Gold Saturday

I love going through the Sunday ads and finding deals. I'm usually very excited to go through the Black Friday ads. It first happened last year and was very noticeable this year that my excitement has deteriorated. For starters, I am trying to live as the economy reflects. Secondly, the Internet has shown previews of all the ads days before they arrive so I don't have the rush of anticipation anymore. Finally, all the extreme couponing shows and blogs make getting anything less than 95% off seem like a bummer.

Still, I got caught up in the frenzy and wanted to bolt out and get my shopping done early. I'm happy to report that I successfully fought that desire and instead stayed away from the stores where people were robbed at gun point and pepper sprayed because they were in the way of someone who wanted a cheap Xbox. 

Here's my advice for you guys. Go through the ads, see what's worth getting, check online for similar products and if you find them and can get free shipping, get it. I found deals at Best Buy, I checked Amazon, they had the price very close to if not equal, I got them, the end. I'm mainly pissed that this is what Adam Carolla says about your time being valuable, and I didn't click through his website to Amazon before making my purchase to support the show. I suck as a loyal listener.

But back to Black Friday. As it turns out there was only one thing I wanted to buy in all the ads I saw that I couldn't get online and I was smart and calm enough to realize that the sale was good until Saturday, and there was a coupon to use for 20% instead of the Black Friday 30%. After all that is said and done, I went Saturday, avoided the lines and got an extra errand done on Saturday instead and the only difference in savings for waiting a day was $2.50. Yep, the time saved is definitely worth the money I spent.

So what did I learn? I have to use this brain of mine to get great deals, but sometimes it's worth it to let them go, get a good deal, and save three hours of my life. Try it some time.

Celebrity Sighting # Nerdtastic

My friends and co-workers have been hearing me go on and on about the book signing I wanted to go to. I asked for a day off from work which ended up being a half day due to wussiness on my part. I also hate San Francisco and have never ventured out there by myself. However, with the courage of a back pack full of supplies meant to ward off panic attacks, a jacket meant to prepare me for unusual California weather, and my Droid which will tell me where to go and how to get there, I went out to meet my husband and together we would meet Chris Hardwick.

Give this girl some credit for managing to be okay traveling to the big city even though my body started to have some serious negative reactions on the train. Yes, unfamiliar territory and not driving a car makes me a very uncomfortable girl. But this isn't like the time I bailed out of my honeymoon. This was only an hour on a train and that small period where I go underwater is something people do five times a week without incident, so I told myself I'd be okay after my ears popped.

So in the big city and only mildy afraid of being mugged, I met my husband at his work. It was nice to see he wasn't faking his fancy job description. Hey, as long as he can pay the bills, he can tell me any story he wants. Yes, honey, you type magical words that make computers do your bidding. Good for you. 

I had to kill some time so I walked the less than a mile looking very much like a tourist by planning to kick anyone that came within two feet of my personal space. The Apple Store was a wonderful bright beacon of awesome until I saw the line in the front. The event was to start in thirty minutes. Holy crap, did I am I gonna miss it because of the line and the fire code will only let so many of us in? I asked a girl in the line and she told me the line was for the new iPhone. I smiled at her even though my exact thoughts were "yeah, fuck that" and went inside. 

There was a little theater upstairs and I saw only half of the seats were full and breathed a sigh of relief. At the same time though, I thought screw you people. Everyone should be basking in this amazing event starting so soon, but don't take my seat. I plopped my stuff in a seat after asking permission from a store employee. He wanted to come back for the show on his break. I offered to save a seat for him, but he nobly said those should be for bigger fans. That's a good man right there.

As I went to slide to my seats when I asked a question to a guy on the end who had the book. (As a side note I called the store in advanced and they said the book would not be sold there. I read the Nerdist blog post on the event and it said I could buy the book there. Or at least it was heavily implied. I called the store back and they said if available, it would be sold by the author. Not wanting to take the chance I went to Barnes and Noble and hunted for it like a mad woman with her dog in the car waiting for her. That was the scenario. Yeah, the book was somewhere. That was the helpful information I got. Four copies that hadn't been unpacked in the store somewhere. They told me to come back later that afternoon. I actually said I couldn't I was meeting the author in San Francisco. That was code for find the FUCKING BOOK. They did not get the hint but showed an apologetic look. Grrrrrr.)

So this guy was freaking awesome and I decided to sit with him instead. Turns out he came all the way from Sacramento and even does an online webcomic. I don't know how to feel around people who have so much talent and aren't afraid to put themselves out there. I have the same jealousy issues with my sister in law. So talented and has no fear. I had a panic attack at a midnight screening of The Simpsons Movie because I showed up in costume. DON'T JUDGE ME BUT AT THE SAME TIME THINK I'M AWESOME. Yeah, it doesn't add up.

Speaking of costumes, anyone who listens to the Nerdist Podcast should know Chris Hardwick has asked for people to show up to his gigs in costume. He even made it a requirement at the taping of the Nerdist TV pilot. Well, in my bag of safety I included my Halloween costume. I debated over it, but realized I only live once and went to the bathroom and came out looking slightly different, but a little proud that with a casual glance, I just looked like a hipster, and not the weakest link from Captain Planet. And as the pseudo hipster that I am, I wasn't the character, but a specific person doing a parody of the character. I'd explain, but I don't want to sound even more like a hipster than I already do. Put it to you this way. Some fans of Channel Awesome might know who I was, but there's no real way to distinguish me from the original character, but mainly I chose it as a way to amuse my husband. The end.

So there I was and I got to listen to Chris Hardwick get interviewed by Veronica Belmont. He read the intro to his book and took questions. I debated on whether I wanted to ask anything and for the stupidest reason ever, I decided no other girl has asked one, I have to represent. He looked at me the whole time and is was terrifying/awesome. The event wrapped up and we stood in line to meet the author. I was pissed that I didn't have his book for him to sign, but he was nice enough to tell me where to send the book so he could. 

I should also mention that there were people wandering around trying to get a glimpse of the guy people where standing in line for. This blonde being not subtle was hovering and I told her "It's Chris Hardwick." She responded with "Yeah, I don't know who that is" and walked away. THEN STOP HOVERING AND GO AWAY, BITCH. I wouldn't normally react that way, but I hate people who think it's cool to not be star struck. At least the man did more than you did so shut up.

Back to the meeting. My costume was so effective, he had no clue who I was until I pointed it out. Damn, I always want to make a positive impression on my entertainment idols without coming off as creepy. I even asked him if he got the e-mail inviting him to my wedding. I hope I didn't come off as a dick because he seemed really apologetic that he has no recollection of it though I had a sense he was mentally looking for a weapon he could use if the crazy chick goes off. I got a picture with him, an autograph and all was right with the world. 

And to the blonde bitch I mentioned before, I don't know who Veronica Belmont was, and I felt bad about it, but I spoke with her, told her hot tech girls make things harder for girls like me and asked for a picture with her. That's how you do it. 

I was ready to go home except for a small snag. I was hungry. One thing I'll admit about San Francisco is even in a mall, there were some amazing choices for food. And I mean food that I've been denied in my mostly wonderful but mostly bland suburban home. Since I didn't want to make myself sick on the way home, I chose a gyro. It was good, but it was missing something only a small restaurant nestled in my home town could provide. Fortunately, I made a pilgrimage to that wonderful gyro place and quieted that craving.

After a crappy train ride home, a thirty minute drive, and one dog happy to see me return, I was able to close the book on my Nerdist adventure. Now I'm looking forward to reading The Nerdist Way. Hurry up Amazon.

Media Consumers Anonymous

It happened again. I just wanted to rent a movie. But it's like a flood gate or a bag of potato chips. Once you get through one, you're adrenaline is up and you're in the mood to watch as many as possible. This is why Netflix will destroy me. After a very modest two movie rental of Bridesmaids and Source Code, we returned to Blockbuster and rented Tropic Thunder, Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans, Interview With the Vampire, 28 Weeks Later, and the Swedish version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. 

I have to say about Bridesmaids that I was concerned the hype would overshadow the laughs. I also have a problem with uncomfortable misunderstandings, which means I never should have enjoyed a sitcom produced in the last three decades, but sadly what happened is I felt Bridesmaids was a little too close to home with my own life. I have relationships with the financially well off perfectionist that must have things her way before others can proceed. I felt for Annie's being left behind while others move on with grown up life. It was over the top, yes, but I felt the stinger in this movie. Also, how the hell can all these women fly first class? Just a bit of an irritation on my part. Good laughs.

When I sleepily awoke on Sunday to get through four of the remaining five on our second trip(damn you one day rentals). Interview With the Vampire was better than I remember. Though I was very young and freaking out over the nudity then. Then after seeing the scene with the theater of vampires disguised as humans playing vampires, my husband casually commented it was just like Tropic Thunder's "I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude."

We moved onto Bad Lieutenant and it hit me again. Hmmm, New Orleans, like the beginning of Interview With the Vampire. Wait, producing heroin, just like Tropic Thunder. That's pretty strange. Well, there's no way that two foreign....wait is that Rose Byrne in 28 Weeks Later? Man, she's pretty. And cooler when she's not being a haughty bitch.

We knew if we dug deep enough, we'd find links to Source Code and Dragon Tattoo, but then it isn't just a casual observation that's kind of cool. Then it's actively trying to figure it out and that's a little sad. It's sort of like the weekend I watched Thank You For Smoking and 27 Dresses in the same weekend and Melora Hardin is in both. I also saw Enchanted, but the James Marsden connection isn't a big surprise. Just a bonus.

So now that I'm free of my rental obligations and back on my regular schedule, I need a nap. It was ten bucks for a night of rentals and I know that's a month of Netflix (Or is it? What is up with the new price structure? I can't find any news coverage of it.), but I know I won't be doing this again far a while. Especially with the holidays coming up. Maybe I'll just go back to the library. A crappy selecting will remind me it's better to use my time folding laundry.

Clooooone!

Futurama
C-SPAN9 Debate
www.comedycentral.com
Comedy Central Funny TV Shows Roast of Charlie Sheen

Does anyone else think of this episode of Futurama when they watch Mitt Romney and Rick Perry in the debates? This runs parallel to my theory that the Simpsons can predict the future. Now that Furturama is doing it, my head is spinning. The part when Fry brings up not being vaccinated is an especially nice touch to the theory.

Summer Adventures 2011

And clearly I'm just cleaning my calendar of notes out and posting to the internets today so here is my final adventure count.

Went to Half Moon Bay for clam chowder in a bread bowl, but originally said I would go to Monterey. Saw Doug Benson which I posted earlier. While going to the Monterey Bay Aquarium I stopped by for three bowls of chowder. It turns out you can go to a Monterey and have bad chowder. You just have to not go to a bar and grill. Avoid those and go to a fish restaurant. It's all overpriced so just suck it up. Fish Hopper is excellent and it turns out you can get it to go, so I recommend it. Also I hate big crowds at aquariums because little rude kids piss me off and their crappy parents make it worse because as their kids piss me off, they have their backs turned taking pictures and blocking my views. Got denied my free hat at an A's game on free hat day and they wouldn't give me one since I already entered the park. I know I'm cheap but if you think about it, so are they.

It seems like a lot but even after all this, I didn't make it camping. Seems like a shame to deny my dog an adventure, but he came to Half Moon Bay with us and also he's a dog, so I don't feel that bad. I'm way too paranoid of him crapping in the tent so we'll just have to see what happens next year. 

Here's to a wonderful summer and I hope it goes well again next year. Am looking forward to turning off the A/C.

Plate Hunt 2011

The beginning and end of summer feels unclear since I've finished school. And using the calendar feels just wrong. But I feel now is probably a good time to declare my summer over even though the temperature will now spike to over a hundred because it heard my declaration. But here is my final tally of what I did not get to see. Here's to next year.

Alabama

Delaware

Georgia

Illinois

Maryland

Mississippi

New Hampshire

North Dakota

Ohio

Rhode Island

South Carolina

South Dakota

Vermont

West Virginia

Wisconsin

Though I did see Illinois recently, I do not count it.