The One With So Much Annoyance

A few months ago, I sold all ten seasons of Friends. It was taking up space and considering so many episodes I have committed to memory (evidenced by my complete domination of the SceneIt? Friends Edition), it just made sense. Well, I'm getting married in a few months and I had a plethora of pop culture TV shows enter my brain as I planned. I can't call it a coping mechanism as this happens regularly in everyday life, but one particpular quote sticks out. I tried to find the clip, but the internet failed me in this quest.

The One With Rachel's Book, Season 7, Episode 2

Rachel: No, y’know what? It’s gonna be okay. I mean you don’t have to have this rustic Italian feast. Y’know? And-and you don’t need, you don’t need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)

Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that we’re gonna get married.

Rachel: Do you even understand what off the rack means?!

And now I will vent. FUCK YOU, YOU SPOILED, BRATTY, HORRID, FASHION WHORE BITCHES. Number one show and this is the crap I get to listen to as comedy? I have my "want that" moments but may you writers, producers, and general people who think this normal, funny, or worth the breath to speak it, go screw yourselves.

Honestly, I don't hold this against Friends. I just look back at this pre-economy collapse world and wonder if people have changed or still exist in modern society. I mean Monica and Rachel were supposedly living in an illegal sublet in New York living paycheck to paycheck. This matters that much?

All right. I'm calm now. Now I'm going to continue plan my simple, but infinitely awesome because I will love the man I will marry and the people sharing the day with me wedding.

Why Would Movies Lie?

I've been chewing on this since my birthday several months ago and it is now I finally collect myself and adequately convey my thoughts. As we get older, how you want to celebrate morphs. Just a few years it was a big group gathering to glow in the glory of ME! Later it became limo ride with my favorite couples. Then reduced to bowling with friends surrounded by young people that do the same for their tenth birthday. Most recently it was just pizza and beer. And I don't like either. It was just about being with my favorite people with whom I didn't share a bloodline with. (Bloodline celebration involves ribs.)

So here I am with friends from many moments in my life who made the cut. It was lively conversation and at no point there were no more than six people in the room. Naturally, pop culture is the best way to keep a conversation going and strangely, at times, can get tempers boiling as much as politics. What I thought was truly perverse is that after talking about some of the greatest movies of all time, we could not everyone to agree on the greatness of one movie.

Sure, you can get a consensus on the crappier movies. That's not a problem. Sadly, it's been so long since the conversation that I only have flashes of one friend claiming The Godfather was too long and The Departed was okay. I think Alien came into the mix as well. Don't get me started on Return of the King. I had this vision of the film class scene in Scream 2 and all of the students nodding in silent agreement The Godfather Part II surpasses the first. I had six people in my house and there was no agreement there. Of course in a freshman discussion, you can have the timid people agreeing because they do not want to stand out, but then it completely contradicts the earlier arguments that make up the entire scene. 

For some reason my thoughts when to that movie and thought "What a crock of shit." Yes. That this is the adult in me criticizing a movie for being  unrealistic due to college students all agreeing on The Godfather. Not the serial killer taking on the costume of the prior serial killer to exact revenge on the same survivors from the previous film. Just the film conversation. I guess it's just the film student in me. Or the Adam Carolla ranting that Megan Fox knows nothing about cars in me. Your choice.

 

Around the five minute mark you will feel the pain.

License Plate Update # 9

I saw New York. Twice. I think I've given up. Summer is over. I'm sad now. No free trip to Japan for me.

License Plate Update # 8

Georgia

North Carolina

And this other one I didn't write down. Why am I still playing this game? Oh right. It used to be that school didn't go back into session until September. Am I even half way through?

License Plate Update # 7

Iowa & Oklahoma. Sadly I will have Kevin Kline from Dave singing in my head for the rest of the night.

Update: Turns out I already saw Oklahoma. The song remains in my head though.

License Plate Update # 6

Indiana & Virginia. Yeah!

Celebrity Sighting #14

I was in the bathroom of the airport having my usual "I'm going to be trapped for a a while, I must pee" moment when I saw in the corner of my eye what I thought was my friend Megan. Of course I'm terrible at this considering I think everyone is someone that I'm familiar with. It didn't occur to me until much later that Megan has an international airport about twenty minutes from where she lives, why the hell would she be in my neck of the woods.

So I wander to my place in line to get on the plane(Southwest has that line of Group 1-30 on the right and 31-60 on the left. Being 34 I was prime in my front of line spot and could slip right in. As I do so I think "man that looks like Patton Oswalt I gotta stop staring at.... holy crap that is HIM!" Being at the front of the line I look around to see if anyone else has that flash of "Oh my god...oh mygod..." Yeah, the "Megan" girl was behind me and I saw nothing in her eyes. But I did look around and there was Andy Richter. Wha...Wha...What? By this point I was pissed becasuse if I didn't have my peeing anxiety, I could have spoken to these giants of awesome. 

I get on the plane and wonder, should I do something? Will I regret not saying anything or am I just creepy person trying to touch those who have used artistic talent in ways I could never? Richter was too close to the front and I couldn't say anything without holding up those behind me. My urge to not be "that guy" won out my urge to say hello. And before I couldn even sit down, Oswalt had his eyes closed. Can't do it now. 

So when the plane took off, I was lost in my magazine and praying that my panic attacks would stay at a minimum. Since the Burbank airport is so freaking tiny, they let us off on two parts of the plan and we took stairs down. As I waiting in line roughly one foot from Patton Oswalt, I lock eyes with a guy still seated. I kind of gesture my head forward and he smiles and mouths "Andy Richter" and points to the front. I mouth back "I know!" Finally! Someone in nerd mode like me. 

I was walking parallel with Remy (okay, borderline stalking him) but it's so freaking loud, I can't say anything. In the airport though I muster all I can and say what's in my heart. "I would kick myself if I didn't take this opportunity, but thank you for all of your work." He looks at me and and says "Thank you for saying that."

And that's all I wanted. And I did it! Go me! Time to get my bags. And lo and behold, the best of the Richter Quintuplets waiting as well. I asked him if this was the right spot to get the luggage from flight 244. (Which if Lost has tought me anything, it's everyone knows their flight number.) He said I think so and I say "thanks and by the way, big fan." He said thank you. (Yes. The irony was not lost on me that I told him and not Patton Oswalt that I was a big fan. I can't be That Guy either.) 

So by this point I'm waiting for my bags and bopping my head to the music very pleased with myself. It occurs to me that it's to the song Dreaming by Blondie and that song is totally lame. When I hear he starts to whistle it. Hmmm. Good enough for him. 

I'm just proud that I have this moment to look back on and know that I wasn't a wuss. I also know that I don't need an autograph or picture to get the warm fuzzies. It'll fade with time like happiness from parties and celebrations, but my speaking up is an accomplishment I plan to use for future needs of courage.