Celebrity Sighting #12

Someone help me, I can't be stopped. The Titus show awoke a need to see and laugh and love again. I got tickets to Joel McHale for the Saturday before Easter. I swear at the time it didn't seem like a bad idea at the time. But it was a birthday present from my man, so I said yes please.

It was in Santa Rosa so we stayed the night in town. It was a nice stress free trip. If course if you were in my family, you'd realize this is not a stress free time and we have soooo much crap going on right now with Easter and my brother's wedding and various work related problems. I guess I can take solace that we all have jobs to stress about.

Anyway, stress free Joel McHale fun. We get to the venue and extra bonus: Chris Hardwick (former Singled Out host and current Attack of the Show contributor) is the opening act. When we sat, I knew we had the worst seats in the house. But it was an intimate venue, so it was enough. It only sucked bcasue all of the seats were the same price.

Before the show started, there were announcements of upcoming performances. Again, I have to be stopped. I wanted to run out and get tickets to Frank Caliendo. I wanted to be a nucklehead. My boyfriend is trying his best to keep me in check.

So we saw Chris and we saw Joel. I feel bad becasue I think Chris was better. He is a nerd and he speaks my language. While Joel was funny, it was mostly an expensive episode of The Soup without visuals. Still worth it, but it's easier to calm down my need to get tickets to everything. But I still have to see the shows that I aleady have tickets for. Next stop, David Sedaris. Hell yeah!

Who Watches Nite Owl II's Pants?

I know it's a strange question, but seriously does Patrick Wilson ever keep his pants on? I swear I'm not complaining, but it seems to be an ongoing theme with him. I saw Watchmen recently. Yep, there's his ass. Just to be safe I read the source material and seeing his ass was "essential to the character." Or at least it helped with remaining faithful to the graphic novel.

He's hasn't been in many movies, so I don't have much to go on. Coincidentally, I rented Hard Candy and Little Children in the same trip to Blockbuster. I didn't know he was in both, but it was a strange transition to watch. In Hard Candy, he's an alleged pedophile who gets punished in a graphic way. I don't remember what is shown, but there is a scene where there is an impromptu surgery and some parts of his anatomy are extracted. I know his pants had to be off for what was implied. Please don't make me watch again to verify.

Now in Little Children, it's a step up. There is a pedophile played by someone else(Jackie Earle Haley/Watchmen's Rorschach for those of you keeping score) and Wilson's character has an affair with Kate Winslet. Yep, sex scenes galore. That's two. Or three I guess.

I looked him up on imdb and found it was him that was in the Gap commercial with Claire Danes. There was dancing, music from Annie Get Your Gun, and, wait for it, the removal of his pants. Interestingly enough, he is in the movie in Evening also with Claire Danes. I'd put good money on his pants being missing sometime in the movie considering I know from the story there is a love scene between the two characters. I'll get back to you when I know the results.

To cap it off, I looked at his theater credits. Yeah, The Full Monty. There's a clip on YouTube of him performing the famous scene for the 2001 Tony Awards. I tried to watch it twice and chickened out both times. To be fair, one of the times I was at work. Then again, it's an awards show. What can they possibly show?

Finally I found that he was in Angels in America. He plays an sexually confued Mormon. I am so there. I don't know if he takes his pants off, but I'm willing to invest mini-series time to find out. (It won some Emmys or something right?)

It's abundanlty clear that since I'm dedicating a full post to him, he will be added to my list. You are correct sir. But if this trend begins to reverse and more famous he gets, the more modest he becomes. I might have some issues. Though I don't think I've seen full frontal yet. At least he's still a step ahead (or behind, depending on how you look at it) of Jason Segel.

Judge Not...

..Lest yet be judged for the not one, but two New Kids on the Block Joe dolls I used to have. I had one from my brother and one from my best friend. Lord knows where they ended up, but I guess I should be glad the evidence of my giggling girl days are long gone. Or I should be pissed that I had one still in the box and who knows what that would fetch on eBay. (Apparently ten bucks if I'm lucky.)

Why this confession? I found myself spitting on the anticipated release of Twilight on DVD while gagging over the thought of the Jonas Brothers. Then I freaked out because it's been about ten year since my similar reaction to the Backstreet Boys. (Although secretively, I did want it that way....) I pretend that I don't understand the legions of girls that go nuts for these guys, but then I had to remember that I was once like them.

The first concert I ever attended was a New Kids concert. I remember after church my parents asked my brothers to go ahead into the house, they had to talk to me and my sister. Thinking we were in trouble, I was even more excited to find out they bought us tickets. Looking back, my mom and dad were AMAZING parents to suffer that for their daughters. (I now fear what I may have to be exposed to fifteen years down the road. Maybe I should play my eggs some Yo-Yo Ma and start them in a dignified direction. )

As for Twilight, (aka, Bram Stoker's Romeo and Juliet) again I shouldn't judge. I read Sweet Valley High as a young girl. You know, pretty people with problems. It helped prepare me for enjoying the original 90210. Rich pretty people with problems adds an extra element.

We all have these skeletons in our closet. But I'm choosing to no longer hide behind my hypocrisy and admit on my anonymous blog that I once enjoyed girly tempations. I guess the Bible's right. Be true to thine own self, and to thine owns self be true. (You know, the seventh commandment.)

R.I.P. Adam Carolla Show

Dear Online Diary,

....Delete the tears....

2009 was the year that I was going to take some time off and finally go to one of the live Adam Carolla shows. Be it Los Angeles or Las Vegas, I was going to buy that man a beer and shake his hand. Of course if there were any drinking games, I would have run like a chicken.

And I finally was mustering up enough courage to call in and do one of the How Say You segments (assuming they'd let me on the air.) After hearing Teresa Strasser do her review of Debbie Does Dallas, I get into a conversation about porn with my man and he shows me this, well, it amounts to approaching a woman on the street and spending half an hour convincing her to have sex with a stranger in a van. I was wondering how much men would watch as the convincing part was quite long. Although it was too short with anyone with any amount of self-esteem. Finally we get to the sex in the van part.

I am not kidding when I say that what popped into my head was "Wait, they aren't wearing seat belts. Where are the police? Doesn't this violate Click it or Ticket?" Yes, there were two naked people having sex on the screen but I say this to my boyfriend. And then I break into my Carolla Burbank cop impression. "Okay, what I'm gonna need for you for you to do for me okay right now is go ahead and put your pants on and show me your license and registration okay right now. Sir, okay right now, please remove your penis from her vagina and step away from the van okay right now, okay right now."

Yep. I wanted to tell that story on the air. Of course now the phone lines will be flooded as tomorrow is the last day of The Adam Carolla Show. I'm sad. Didn't cry. But I'm sad. I have no doubt though, with this talk of a podcast,that Carolla will thrive in the media. Just not in the form that I've come to know and love these last two years of listening. I will burn calories to find him where ever he will entertain. I will miss my mornings filled with Ace Man, T, and Bald Bryan. But I wish them all the best in this rocky economy.

P.S. G.S. Go Sox’s!

Celebrity Sighting #11

I don't believe in the concept of Valentine's Day. But I do like presents. But in an attempt to not be that girl, this year for Valentine's Day, my man and I went to go see Christopher Titus together the Saturday before. Considering it's on a Saturday this year, I like avoiding the lovey-doveys. We both are occupied that day anyways.

So Tommy T's was packed. I forgot they pack you in like sardines in there. I lucked out because there were only two of the four types of crappy audience members. Across was the sour-puss that left me wondering why would you drop the forty bucks to have a bad time? (She was clearly a pain as she sent the food back. It's a comedy club, with an item minimum. Why are your expectations so high?) Behind us were the people that clearly ignored the “shut your mouth and let others enjoy the show” announcement. And they were loud. I came to see Titus, not hear your beer fueled blah, blah, blah. I count my blessings that the loud mouth that likes to be part of the act was nowhere to be found. And to top it off no cell phone was heard. Then again, the laughs did not stop so even if one did, there was no way I would have heard it.

Also note to self: next to me you go to a show with an angled view of the stage, sit in front of your 6'3'' boyfriend. As a bonus though, the guy behind me was a laugher like me. That is infectious for me and I enjoy myself when those around me are having the same good time, even if I don't know them.

Every bit was awesome, even the moderately offensive parts didn't go beyond my sensitive-o-meter. In the middle of the show he mentioned that he had shirts he was selling after the show and would be signing them. When the show was over, I bolted to the back because I was not going to miss out on that. I felt bad because I had abandoned my boyfriend. Titus wasn't there with the shirts, but I was going to get my damn autograph. He came downstairs and I grabbed my camera. Unfortunately, it was stuck to my little purse filled with my feminine hygiene products. But I wasn't going to miss the chance. I zipped it closed, handed it to a random guy and just pretended it was the camera bag.

I feel bad that it looks like my boyfriend wasn't meant to be in the shot, but he just tried to get into the back. I was in a hurry and didn't want to be the jerk monopolizing the celebrity's time, especially when he had a second show starting in an hour. I bet if I crop him out, it'd look cool. (Damn I'm mean. He bought me the shirt because he loves me and I'm cropping him out of my “me and celebrities” album.) As we were leaving Titus said to another fan the crowd was great. The previous night's crowd wasn't so responsive and we made up for it. Yeah we did!

On the way home, we rehashed some of the bits. That's one of my favorite parts of a great night. Laughing and having a great time with people you love.

The Titus special Love is Evol is on Comedy Central this Saturday and I suggest EVERYONE see it. This man is hilarious, the material is fantastic and you should avoid the Valentine's Day crap out there and sit with your loved one and enjoy it together. Just turn your sensitive-o-meter down a bit before it starts.

Hail to the Chief, Faithfully

Or was it supposed to be "faithfully hail to the chief"? It doesn't really matter because we have a new president either way. I feel compelled to point out that when Obama recited the oath and he jumped in before he should have, I thought that it should be done only a few words at a time. And I had this flash to the episode of Cheers where Frasier has a dream that Woody gets elected president. I know I'm not the only one to think this because I stole the YouTube link from someone else who had the same observation. But still, take a look.

Objects in Dream Aren't as Cool as They Appear

Here's my random thought of the moment. Have you ever had one of those dreams where you're so caught up into it and when you wake up, you will yourself to remember it so you can write it into a short story. Then you fall asleep and have a dream that erases pieces of the story worthy dream. And of course you get pissed and struggle to get the whole story. Then the writing process starts and as you put it all together, it's not an interesting story. But for some reason when you woke up, it was best selling material and you were sure you could sell it.

Well, it finally occurred to me that the greatest books and movies get you so swept up, that you become emotional. You react to it even after the credits have finished or you've turned the last page.

I cannot think of a dream I've had that did not include me. So those ones that have amazing action or a deep heart wrenching story get me overwhelmed with endorphins. When I wake up I think that this was so much of a story and I've reacted to it as I did, it must be as good enough to sell. Sadly, that's never the case after I've written passed page five. Mostly I've given up on the dream journal translating into a best original screenplay Oscar.

If you really think about it, how many writers tell about how the amazing stories they've written came to them in a dream. Mostly they are inspired by things around them when they are conscious. Does that mean that Red Bull is the way to prize winning stories? If I overdose on it, can I write about my wacky adventures in the emergency room? Meh, at least it will be based on a true story. We all know those sell.