The Evolution of a Quote

"It was symbolism. I'm yelling because I'm angry."

I don't expect you to know what I'm talking about here because it's a misquote. The original context takes us to Simpsons episode "Beyond Blunderdome" with Mel Gibson (before the crazy). After Homer and Mel redo Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and after the bloody battle scene the question from one of the viewers "why did Mr. Smith kill everybody*?" comes up. Homer, in his wisdom, responds with"It was symbolism. He was mad." That's good stuff. But it takes two people to quote.

Years ago when times were simpler, when cell phones didn't double as a camera, mp3 player, GPS device, blood pressure monitor and home pregnancy test, I would sit in my senior English class with my male counterpart and quote not just The Simpsons, but various obscure TV shows like The Kids in the Hall. Sadly so many shows and so many friends have come and gone I cannot remember all our special quotes. I have no doubt that if he were still here instead of on the other side of the country, we would have had so much fun with Arrested Development, The Office, and How I Met Your Mother. But this one particular quote stays near and dear to my heart. Why? Because it's a misquote that does not piss me off.

I have to admit that I am a purist. I put a little * up there on "everybody" to point out that I had to look this up to make sure if it was "everybody" or "everyone". I'm also a corrector. Or at least I was in my earlier days. Today, I let stuff go. That is unless I'm in the presence of another corrector. (I happen to spend time with one regularly. He keeps me on my toes. At times I return home wanting to crack open my old Futurama sets to brush up on my Bender and Zoidberg one liners.)

Some quotes have to remain pure to me, though. Example: The Usual Suspects line up scene has to be said word for word "Hand me the keys you fucking cocksucker." And just to be absolute, if you do Benicio Del Toro's part it's "hand me the keys you cocksucker, what the fuck?" But you must make sure you are indecipherable and irritated as you annunciate.

So many quotes have found their way into my everyday that I'm not even sure if what I say are my own thoughts anymore. In fact it has reached the point were if anything remotely witty or funny comes out of my mouth, my boyfriend ask me "what's that from?" What's even sadder that I have to think for a minute before I can illegitimately hit him and say "I came up with that!"

But being a pop culture child, I can bond with people over one-liners and obscure references. It may not seem like much to you, but I like that I can always make my dad laugh by saying "Oh, save me Jebus!" You try and tell me that's not funny.

This post is going to be...wait for it....

wait for it....LEGENDARY! What up? Blog five!

Though I have to admit that I'm a late bloomer, I adore How I Met Your Mother. This is how I want to be when I am in my late-twenties. (And I realize only one of the actors is actually in his late twenties. The rest are either mid twenties or mid thirties. I think this is why it's so awesome. Technically they should be playing high school seniors. That is with the exception of the twenty something. She should be in middle school.) I like that there is no such thing as too much use of the word awesome. I love elaborate high fives. I love use of the word legendary. Most importantly, I care about these characters. I root for the waaaayyyy too comfortable couple. The nice guy should get the girl. And the womanizing ass, well, I'm an American, so we embrace these men lovingly. But he's quick and funny so rock on!

I must take this time now to explain my theory as to why Barney is so awesome. It can't be just the suits. Though it does account for a lot, don't get me wrong. No, Barney has a certain charm about him that I have deciphered. He is a combination of two tried and tested characters. Beloved sarcastic Chandler Bing and and The Todd (Does this character have a real name? According to imdb he's Todd Quinlan. But he's The Todd!) Think about it. Barney: sarcastic, witty, works at a well paying job, but sidesteps the question of what the hell do you do? Could he be any more Chandler? He doesn't do that so that's a good thing. Barney: All about the ladies, looks and is creative with high fives. The Todd takes a slap to the face as a face five! The defense rests your honor!



Miss Chanalder Bong + "Tis better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" Five
=











Awesomeness in concentrated form

Oh, wait I forgot. The combo-character argument is part one of Barney's awesomeness. Part two is NPH himself. That's right. NPH is awesome in ways I cannot really explain. He brings to Barney what no writer can concoct after being threatened with unemployment or a bottle of tequila. Bless you Neil Patrick Harris for not giving up after so many canceled TV shows and strange movie roles. Thank you for you part in the awesomeness that was Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. I salute you NPH. My hand goes up to you! Salute five!

And now for my final thought. An honorable mention has to go to Bob Saget. It takes guts to pull yourself up from your sorted Full House past. I didn't believe that you directed Dirty Work. I was confused, but then delighted with your cameo on Entourage. The show that proves self-parody is the way to people's hearts (you ROCK Ralph Macchio!) Then on Law and Order SVU, we all knew the second you were on screen you did it. But then a beautiful thing happened. Danny Tanner died. And we were able to embrace the voice of older Ted Mosbey. You know what we all want to know. Tell your story! I will be listening without the fear of an Olsen twin showing up at any second.

A Salute to Worthy Adversaries

There was a time when two characters destined for each other were kept apart in ways that would frustrate and infuriate us. And we continued to lap it up week after week because that was our quality entertainment. I think we all have experienced it with Friends. I know of masses that had some not nice things to say about Julie. She was the first one. There were more, but after ten years, I can't name them all. And it didn't matter how nice or wonderful they were. We hated them. Because they were the reason the tango of "will they or won't they?" was prolonged.

But now we have entered a new age where we watch the two characters we love and want to see together delayed by someone we don't want shoved in a meat grinder. And two very special women have found their way into my heart. They deserve special recognition.

Now you may remember how bitchy she was in the beginning, but if I were Addison Shepherd and I had to track my husband to the other side of the country and walked up to him and his new sex toy, I'd be a little bitchy too. Then we found out she cheated on him. So she MUST be a horrible person. How dare she keep our love birds apart?

But wait, he was cold and distant and took her for granted. Okay. She uprooted her life in New York and tried to put her marriage back together. And she's not just arm candy, but a brilliant surgeon. She's flawed, but a fantastic, well rounded and great character. Not a throw away bitch, but someone I want to see get what she wants. And I was so happy when that stopped being Derek. She didn't deserve to be tossed to the side. But now our love birds are together. And surprisingly, I don't care. I want to see Addison happy.

Who wants the whinny intern when you can have the hot attending?

And she's just full of more surprises. She aborted Mark's baby? She’s hitting on Alex? She is totally awesome. Who gives a damn about that McCouple? In fact, screw that McCrap. Bring on the hot red head.

So I guess this is just a fluke. How else can I like the skank keeping my "not quite together yet" couple apart? Or right. Another exists. She is a Stamford beauty. Or I guess she's been relocated to Scranton.

Yes, she may be keeping Jim and Pam apart. But do we really want Jim and Pam TOGETHER? They are so great in general, but with them together, would it work or would it be strange? Ross and Rachel together was kind of strange. Monica and Chandler felt normal. Dwight and Angela is strange, and yet normal. That relationship is weirdly right. But Jim and Pam? I think they were meant to be unrequited. It feels right that way.

Witty, sweet, and plays Call of Duty. How can you resist?

And Karen is helping make things remain right. And I give her credit for admitting out loud and to the camera that she liked Jim. Even though we still feel we should root for Jim and Pam, Karen is a good one for him. He should be happy. She should be happy. I wish Pam would be happy too. It hurt to watch her cry. You know what? I think Toby should be happy too! I love Toby and all the abuse he takes. But I digress.

Unfortunately I do not think that things will end well for Karen. There was a reason I got serious chills when I watched Jim kiss Pam. And just last episode he admitted that he still had feelings for her. Poor Karen. She may not find a permanent spot like our Addison Montgomery (she sounds cooler with her maiden name), but I hope for the best. I like her. Maybe she should form an alliance.

Eat It Nicole Ritchie!

It's funny because the title suggests that she needs to get out of the tabloids and have a burger very once in a while. But no, this is not a commentary on her eating disorder (that she denies or may have recently denied denying, but who cares?)

Rather I make reference to my personal adventure on the freeway being stuck for a half hour while the freeway was closed ahead and I had missed the last exit. A fatal accident had me stranded with only rollover minutes to tide me over. Finally after organizing, the highway patrol began to filter us off the freeway by having us make U-turns and directing us back to the last exit. Okay, we weren't direct as much as saw the first car do it with the cop car and then we tried it behind them.

It was awesome, going east on the west bound freeway. I got to do it not under the influence of anything AND I didn't get arrested. See, I may not have her millions of dollars, but I get to have little celebrity-like adventures too. And besides, I would trade the millions of dollars to not be associated with Paris Hilton any day of the week.

The Poor Man's TiVo

Damn you November sweeps! That's right. I went there. I have to say that I had a much easier time when the World Series was going on. That narrowed my religious TV watching down to only three shows: The Office, Grey's Anatomy, and Desperate Housewives. (And that is the order in which I care.) When Fox had this year's games on, I didn't have to worry because House was on reruns. Yeaaa! Don't have to think. That's a big thing with me. But last night I had the unfortunate situation of having Super-Sized Office conflicting with my Grey's. What's a girl to do?

Well, the entertainment powers that be have granted me a solution. ABC offers me the newest episodes on their website for free. This is awesome for when I miss the show, but it sucks for when I want to buy the DVDs when they come out. I will have seen every episode and will have to struggle with my wasting money verses completing my set hankerings. So with this offering, I know to ditch ABC shows in favor of the other networks and then catch up later. The occasional stops and low bandwidth (which I so do not have!) messages are a distraction but I get the episode and I'm good. (Though I can't stand that it doesn't include the scenes from the next episode. It sucks.)

But now that House is back on I have to remember more shows on more nights. What am I supposed to do if I can make it to my picture box and drool at, I mean gaze lovingly at, I mean stare at, I mean watch my favorite pill popping, insult cracking doctor? Well, I have not been blessed with TiVo or any of those fancy schmancy digital recording dealies. Instead I call up my substitute for Hugh Laurie and asking him nicely if he can set his VCR for me.

Not everyone can afford to have one of these damn things, you know! I'm still saving for a pony.
(The photograph is by Redjar and is available under a Creative Commons License.)

Yes, VCRs are still out there and deserve so much more respect than 8-Tracks, Laser Discs, and Beta. I grew up VCRs and taped hours of my favorite shows and have drawers of tapes that I will never watch again, but keep because I may be able to find a VCR with superior auto tracking that will make these tapes watchable again. Or I'll trash them when all of these shows are on DVD. I even used to want to keep recordings of random commercials that I love and SNL skits, but with the invention of YouTube I think I let these things go. If I ever want to watch Janet Reno's Dance Party, that Jungleheiemer Junction skit or those Volkswagen commercials that I thought were awesome, the internet provides me with all my heart's desire (and it has porn too!).

So that's the best I can do until I can afford TiVo. It seems as though if I tried hard enough, I could catch my shows and not need to subscribe to the digital recording world. But I want to hit that point to where I'm making enough money that I can pause live TV. Ahh the power! Until then I'll just have to rely on the VCR timers of others. (Oh and just in case you were wondering, the rich man's TiVo is just having TiVo, but it's programmed by Reginald, your butler.)

Going the Way of Brad Pitt

One might say that because it took an expiring movie pass to finally get my butt out and see a movie warrants the stripping of my title of entertainment junkie. Hell, I would say that. But we must not focus on this so much as this expired pass brought me into a movie that triggered a three hour post viewing discussion and the desire to tell everyone in my line of scope to see it immediately.

Now I am not experienced in the realm of Martin Scorsese. (If I'm not careful, by the end of this post, I'm going to lose my junkie status and get tarred and feathered in the middle of Grauman's Theater.) However, The Departed beckoned to me after the first trailer. How can you resist the concepts of two moles for both sides, inside the opposite sides trying to smoke out the other? Top it off with the stellar casting (the primary cast combined has won four Academy Awards and nominated for seventeen) and I knew I had to see this movie. And I was not disappointed. Like I said three hour discussion and recommendations all around. For the love of all that is holy, give that man an Oscar already. This movie even shot up the IMDB top 250 (it was 48 when I saw it and is as of today 62).

So what does this all have to do with Brad Pitt? A valid question. The Departed marks a very special point in the career of Leonardo DiCaprio. He is one respectable/excellent movie away from Brad Pitt status. Sill needs more explanation?

Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese, and Cameron Diaz promoting Gangs of New York at the 2002 Cannes Film Festival. Scorsese and DiCaprio’s most recent collaboration The Departed has resulted in DiCaprio’s one step below Brad Pitt status.
(The photograph is by Rita Molnár and is available under a Creative Commons License.)

First you have to assume Brad Pitt pre Mr. and Mrs. Smith and all that Brangelina stuff. Okay, when I was younger, my sister (and most of the female population) fell for Brad Pitt. He was that guy in Thelma and Louise and Legends of the Fall. I naturally didn't care. Then he was in Se7en. I thought the movie was awesome and was in it for Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman (you know, men with serious acting chops and not just washboard stomachs). By the end, I thought okay, he didn't screw it up. Then he was in Snatch and Fight Club. Clap, clap, clap, bravo, this guy isn't messing around anymore. Good job. Finally there was Ocean's Eleven. Damn! How the hell did Brad Pitt get so attractive? Oh right, he is respectable AND good looking now. That makes him ultra-attractive. And then he got involved in this tabloid thingy so now he's lost awesome points. But now you get my point.

The funny thing is George Clooney followed a similar path. Hated him when every woman on earth wanted to have his children. Saw Out of Sight and thought okay, he's not so bad. Saw O Brother Where Art Thou? and thought he's pretty good. By Ocean's Eleven he had won my respect. (But now he can do whatever he wants and his stuff isn't so great so he slipped of a bit on the awesome meter as well. Still has a lot of respect though.) I can't call it the Way of George Clooney though. That implies the TV to movie thing as well. Doesn’t work for what I'm trying to say.

Oh, just to complete my Ocean's Eleven, "when did they get so good looking?" circle. Matt Damon: From pretty boy status from Good Will Hunting (Which I did finally see and agree that it is an excellent and well crafted movie, but I didn't care for the women screaming oh my god, it's Ben and Matt look at them, they're so hot crap.) to hilarious in Dogma, to even more hilarious in that episode of Will & Grace, to attractive in Ocean's Eleven to respected in The Bourne Identity (to a running gag for all of my friends who have seen Team America World Police) to solidifying my respect in The Departed. In fact The Departed earned back the points he lost in Ocean’s Twelve. (That movie was a mess. I'm hoping you'll all make it back into my heart after Ocean's Thirteen. Go the Way of Die Hard, not The Godfather. But that's another post entirely.)

And as long as we are talking about The Departed boys, I must add special mention to Mark Wahlberg. You've come a long way since the Funky Bunch. My friends still crack jokes about that. If fact most recent was last night. But you get to have the last laugh. Though most didn't take you seriously in Boogie Nights, you did good. Three Kings, as well. Planet of the Apes, not so much. Rock Star, bad Mark Wahlberg! (SMACK) That's a very bad Mark Wahlberg. The Italian Job, now you're gaining some momentum. With The Departed, you're getting that respect. But you had me at Entourage.

So where does this leave DiCaprio? Well, he needs one more to solidify the respect. No more pretty boy from Romeo+Juliet and Titanic. Catch Me if You Can, I did enjoy. The Departed has you so close. Blood Diamond could do it, but I may be thrown by your accent and the subject matter. Maybe I'll throw you a bone and see how you did in The Aviator and Gangs of New York. (Oh, almost three hours each?) The Academy has yet to steer me wrong. Except for the whole popularity equals winning politics thing. And almost every best actress category winner for the last ten years. And come on already, give Martin Scorsese and Kate Winslet what they deserve already. Oh and finally settle that Marisa Tomei thing.....

Celebrity Sighting #7

Not much to report and this is actually a repeat sighting. I went to the Orpheum Theater in San Francisco to see Chicago (too many places involved). This particular show stars Mr. Huey Lewis as Billy Flynn. I guess watching the movie Chicago and having a couple songs from the soundtrack kind of messed up my complete enjoyment.

One of the many theatres I passed(but the only one I went into) in San Francisco today.

I was expecting the little details to still be intact but I guess that's just a little naive of me. I felt bad because based on the applause, the people where there for Mr. Lewis. It was a good show, though. Like I said, not much to report.