The End of Season Finale Season

It was a wonderful feeling I had last night. I got into bed at 9:15 PM and without a care in the world passed out. I haven't had that luxury on a Sunday night for a long time. What occurred to me is that I can relax and not be a slave to my television.

I have to say that the last few weeks have been especially brutal for me (or anyone who does not own TiVo). I found myself making notes of which season finales and series finales I would be watching. Ordinarily I have myself making a commitment to only Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy (which fortunately were on in one sitting, but now I'll be screwed when Grey moves to Thursdays next season). But at this time of year, I'd rather see the episodes than read about them in Entertainment Weekly.

Even though I failed to watch these shows regularly I found that I had to see the last of Malcolm in the Middle, That '70s Show and Will & Grace. With each episode I felt a sadness not because of the plotlines, but the fact that I was in high school when these shows started. And I remember watching these shows when then started. I guess it just makes me feel seasoned. I have to say though that I was touched by the ending of Malcolm in the Middle. And I agree with Lois even though she is as harsh as she is. There is more to be gained from working your way to the top than having everything handed to you. As for That '70s Show, I guess from the last episode that home is where the heart is? Or was it how you should stick with the tight knit group you always have? I guess it works in the '70s.

Okay, I have to admit that by the time the fifth season of Will & Grace rolled around, I wasn't watching at all. Personally I think the show peaked with the episode A Chorus Lie with Matt Damon. I have to say though that it's hard to be sad that this show is ending because syndication is bloated with its episodes. I swear at 11PM it is on three different channels. (It might work as a variation of the Caine/Hackman theory from PCU. At any time, 24 hours a day you can find a Gene Hackman or Michael Caine movie on. Only for this it might be the Will & Grace/Law & Order theory.) The finale was sweet but a bit forced on the “they're meant to be together” idea. I guess I'm glad it was done in a way that did not require them to sacrifice there quests for true love. Then again I felt it was all a bit hokey. Though the dose of reality of people aren't friends forever was refreshing. Then again I watch TV to escape from harsh realities. I guess in the end, I laughed enough, I was touched, thanks for the memories.

So for the shows that will be back next fall I admit that the second season of Desperate Housewives did not have me enthralled. If anything I was relieved to finally be done with caring. With Grey's Anatomy, I'm happy that I'm not left wondering about next season for the length of the summer. As it turns out the only cliff hanging I'm really wondering about is Burke. I doubt he'll be off the show, but what exactly are they going to do with him? He better not become an ass. Speaking of doctors who are asses, after watching the finale of House I remembered why I like the show, but do not watch it very much. I love Hugh Laurie and I must admit I have a thing for surly doctors on TV, but the show tends to show more medical stuff than I care to watch. Those of you who saw the finale will probably agree with me that the show is superb, but watching a guy's eye pop out of his head and hang from the socket is a bit much. It became too much when the guy's testicle exploded. I don't even have a set, but I was in pain watching that.

For my comedies, I found myself watching My Name is Earl. I don't even like that show but I watched it just to make sure that I didn't miss The Office. I love Jim. I love Pam. I love Jim and Pam. After what I saw this last episode I have to agree what I read in EW: DO NOT SCREW THIS UP! Finally there's Scrubs. Still on. According to its official website, it will still be on next year. That's all that matters. Back to my surly doctors bit, I love Cox and Jordan. In real life, I wouldn't, but how can you not love their dynamic? I can't wait to be like that.

In the end, it was a pretty decent finale season. I promised myself that I wouldn't get sucked into the summer programming bonanza and get out and life my own life. Then again, it is maybe there's a sale on TiVos this week. Then I can have my cake and watch it too.

Preserving Your Memories Through Entertainment Media

I remember it as if it were yesterday. George Lucas destroying my childhood by announcing that only the new digitally enhanced versions of the Star Wars trilogy would be available on DVD. (Okay the man did not destroy my childhood, but he did selfishly decide to withhold the old versions because his artistic vision was the second version and that's what we should be forced to enjoy.) When they first came out, I refused to watch the new ones because they were not what I would quote with my father back and forth at the dinner table when I was eight years old. Greedo shooting first? Jabba the Hutt in the first one? Who cares about a more realistic futuristic background? I want my Star Wars.

When I was younger, I found an old Star Wars VHS early 90's re-release in the bargain bin at Blockbuster. It completed my copies of The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi that I had recorded off of USA so long ago. (You wouldn't turn in a child who doesn't understand the concept of copyrighted materials would you? I just wanted to be a Jedi.) Who would have thought that with $4.99 and two blank tapes I was helping preserve my childhood memories? My three year old niece had dug them out recently and she constantly has them playing over and over again. Or at least did before my sister bought her Carebears DVDs. I think we are determined to make these children live the 80's as we did. (Or at least they lived in the 80's while I was born then but watched all of their stuff. Hehehe, ALF.)

Thinking about Star Wars and all those other movies I watched repeatedly until my parent wanted to curse the man who invented VCRs, I got nostalgic about old movies I loved. I started to find them at Best Buy and without even thinking (or even renting them again) I bought them. I wanted them because I remember enjoying them. But what you loved at eight or even twelve may not translate well by the time you can drink and play craps (hopefully not at the same time).

I tried to ignore the general feeling that these movies weren't all that great. I know most were guilty pleasures, but for some reason, The Cutting Edge wasn't as great as I remember. When I watched Dirty Dancing for the first time in like a decade, I was stunned. I understand why my parents didn't bother to explain everything in specifics. Penny was sick okay I remember that...wait, that was an abortion? Holy crap! So I was picking up on things that were more adult or realized the writing and acting aren't so great. Or both.

It happened with Little Giants (shut up), Ace Ventura (admit you loved it), While You Were Sleeping (again shut up) and Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (I can't tell you to shut up here because I've rendered you speechless). I know now these are all stupid movies that I loved for no reason. Or didn't know better.

So what if this happens with Star Wars? What if it's true what my friends have been telling me? What if Luke was as much of I whiner as Jake Lloyd was? What if I start to root for Darth Vader to kill him like I prayed for the death of Jar-Jar all those times? What if I want to strangle Yoda because he speaks more annoyingly than that little guy in Twin Peaks? And then I realized that in order to save my love of Star Wars completely, I would have to do the unthinkable: never watch it again. I think for the sake of preserving the happy childhood memories I'll make this sacrifice.

So what has hard core Star Wars fans buzzing lately? Apparently George Lucas has announced that they WILL be releasing the original versions but in a package that forces you to buy all of them. So I have to buy the crappy versions I don't want in order to get the original versions I will not watch. What about all those people that caved and bought the trilogy back then? They have to shell out even more for something they already own. I guess Lucas has no more space stories to tell because he's using his creative power to screw over all his fans. I have to say though that as far as profits are concerned, the man is brilliant. Evil, but brilliant.

Celebrity Sighting #4

And now for a little honesty. I didn't want to cram this thing full of celebrity sighting after celebrity sighting because I keep forgetting to write in this damn thing. I did the laugh tracks post as a spacing between the January- March sightings I've been to lazy to post and this one. The funny thing is I am anticipating another sighting (no, I'm not stalker, I have tickets to a show) and now I have to put up another thought provoking post before I do more "look who I saw" ramblings.

I write this the night before (or more accurately the morning of) my second trip to Tahoe in two weeks. That's right. I was in Tahoe not more than twelve days ago and I'm going back. Yes, I am a gambling junkie. We all have our vices. Mine involves the rush of splitting aces and lining up five wilds on the screen in front of me. So before I kick off another fun fest, I have to get this story down. My dad was kind enough to give me vouchers for a free night's stay at Harrah’s or Harvey's and free show tickets. Opting not to see the musical review, I get to go to the Improv. I hate that my years of watching bad comedians created a bit of skepticism in me. All of my favorites have become actors, or at least got their own shows and don't bother anymore.

I guess this was one of those good times I can say that I was gravely mistaken. Having pretty decent seats (I can't complain because they were free) but being incredibly exhausted from the horrible previous night's sleep, we watched as our host Howie Nave came on stage. The man rocks hard. Totally funny and he breaks out his guitar and does this awesome bit on how he crashed a Los Lobos concert and opened for them. He does this fantastic version of La Bamba that I promise will be sung the next time my family is together for a holiday. I even told him that after the show and he laughed with me. (My family has a long standing connection to the movie La Bamba so this story is going to kill come Thanksgiving.)

Next was David Gee. The way it's set up, he's the featured act, so he wasn't on for that long. I felt bad because there was this bit he did where he's talking to his brother on the phone. "He calls me up and he says to me, "Steve......" Only my boyfriend and I were laughing. At that point he says,"..because my name is David." By then people laughed and it caught on when he did it again with a story about his girlfriend. He was really good and did this killer Nicholson impression at the end. Short time on stage, but great stuff.

Here was the kicker. The headliner for the night was Wendy Liebman. For those sad sheltered "didn't watch Comedy Central and stand-up shows on after Saturday Night Live" childhoods, she's a very talented comedian with a flair for quick sarcasm. She incorporated this into her act but the half of the showroom I was on was busting up with laughter while the other side didn't really respond. I think it was her style was more appealing to the college age set. This was a Tuesday in the middle of April so it was mostly the dinner at 4:30 crowd. The two girls sitting next to us were in college (Go to Fresno State actually, as we found out when they did one of those random "anyone in the audience in college?" things. I had to stop myself from responding. I'm out damn it!)

This is what made me laugh. I was excited to see her because I liked her when I was younger. Unfortunately, I know her from the show Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist. This was a great show on Comedy Central that had Jon Stewart, Ray Romano, Denis Leary, (all before they hit it big with their shows) and a whole bunch of other comedians in as patients and using their bits for therapy sessions. (A lot of stuff comedians use lately is observational humor, so the format really worked.) Did I forget to mention that this was an animated show? So I know her voice and her stand-up, but I only know her as a cartoon. When we first got there, I thought I saw her come in. It could have been her, but then the person walks over and sits down three seats away from me (one of the Fresno girls). I included a shot of her on the show that I've graciously swiped from the website "The Many Faces of Dr. Katz" (http://www.sassman.com/katz/liebman.html).

So the show ends and I decide I want to hang around and catch a glimpse of the performers. It wasn't like in Vegas were I had to scramble to see Penn and Teller or The Amazing Jonathan after the show. It was practically empty by the time they came out. Davis Gee was out first and he zipped through with some people that he apparently knew who came to the show. Howie was out second. It was after he came out that I realized that I was carrying my small gambling purse containing only cash, my ID, and my comp card. That is to say my purse with my notebook and a pen were in the room. Son of a bitch, I have nothing for them to sign an autograph with! So I go hunting for one at the Hard Rock Cafe, but the hostess girl was on the phone away from the podium thing, and I didn't want to interrupt her or steal while she wasn’t looking. I was taught never to steal. So I run back to the box office and look for a pen and do see one but it's closed off. So as I walk back I see Howie and make eye contact. It's at that point I just go for it.

I walk up and tell him it's was a fantastic show. He smiles. Like I said earlier, I told him the La Bamba thing will have my family rolling. I also told him I was looking for a pen so I could get an autograph and he laughed it off like it was nothing. Yeah that's easy for him to say. I really wanted it. Here's the coolest part. We are about to part ways, I tell him again how great the show was and he gives me a hug. AWESOME!

After riding that high I see Wendy has finally come out (I love how cocky I've become that I'm just referring to them on a first name basis. It's not like we've gotten together and barbequed or something......yet.) I go up and do the same thing, tell her it was a great show. (Going back to the having something to say to the famous person thing, I was prepared this time.) I told her, not that I was making a reference to how old she was or anything, but I used to quote her in high school. Then I told her that I wanted to get an autograph but couldn't find a pen. She said she might have one. ROCK! Turns out she had a Sharpie. (EVEN BETTER!) I give her my ticket and as she's signing it I told her how I thought the college girl who was sitting three seats away might have been her because I only know her in animated for. She laughed at that and said, "Dr Katz?" Nothing inflates my ego more than making famous people laugh (in a good way, not at me). So I step aside realizing I was rude for watching her sign my ticket. Realizing this after she covers it with her hand like my third grade teacher taught me to keep the other students from cheating off me. She asks me what I do and I proudly responded that I'm unemployed. I did recover by telling her I was study for actuarial exams and she told me her dad worked in insurance. She stood up, handed me the ticket and gave me a hug (AWESOME AGAIN!). When I read what she wrote to me, I don't know if I actually turned red, but I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. Well, you can see for yourself.

Sleep deprived or not, this was one of the greatest nights ever.

Laugh Tracks Just Aren't Funny Anymore

You're probably asking yourself what did I do to deserve this bounty. Two posts in the same week? You're not dreaming my friend. I have lots to say but my fingers are too slow to get it all down. Also I've been sleepy and a little sick. But when you're unemployed and have vast amounts of thoughts to share (translation: have crap to complain or rant about) the fruits are plenty.

I'm not sure if you're familiar with a little show called Sports Night. A wonderful show just by itself, but is more likely know as the show of (name of person) before they did (name of more popular show). I'll give you an example: Felicity Huffman's (though I love the actress in general) annoyed me as Dana Whitaker on the show before annoying me slightly less on Desperate Housewives. I swear I like the actress and her work, but I usually see her as a domineering mess of a character who should be a lot nicer to the men in her life. (P.S. Also love her husband William H. Macy. As far as I'm concerned, whatever role he takes is made better because of him.) Peter Krause was wonderful as Casey McCall (whose supposed to be a loose version of Craig Kilborn) before doing Six Feet Under. Even in the background you had Brenda Strong and Lisa Edelstein playing reoccurring roles on this show before they became Mary Alice Young, the voice of the Desperate Housewives and Dr. Lisa Cuddy on House, respectively. Sports Night was the critical gem of Aaron Sorkin before he hit awards and ratings gold with The West Wing. Josh Charles must be mentioned as Dan Rydell. Not so much because he's hit it big, but you always remember one of your junior high school crushes. He was on the original draft of my list of five. But when he stopped appearing regularly on my TV, I had to let him go. Where am I going with this?

During its first year the show had a laugh track. Or I assume that there was. I imagine it was a studio audience because it sounded like some were laughing but not everyone got it. It's possible some gaps were filled in with canned laughter at the less obviously funny places. But by the second (and sadly last) season, they realize they needed to let the audience figure out what's funny on their own. I have to say on first viewing I was not impressed. But after Comedy Central picked up the reruns I had tapes ready to record it. You watch it again and realize so much thought has gone into each bit. This is hilarious. How did I miss that before?

I saw this happen again with Arrested Development. I remember watching the episode "Bringing Up Buster" and thinking the show was stupid. What was everyone talking about? Then a marathon on FX helped me realize how much this show rocks. I thought maybe it lost it's footing in the second season, but then I knew what was going on. There is a certain strategy involved in truly appreciating this type of show. It's funnier the second time around. Because by then you're really paying attention and aren't distracted by keeping up with that silly plot thing. It has its blatantly obvious humor and its wait, rewind that, did I he just say what I think he did? humor.

[For those of you remotely curious I recommend you rent these shows and watch my personal favorite episodes "The Cut Man Cometh" for Sports Night (Season 2) and "Pier Pressure" for Arrested Development (Season 1). Watch it all if you can but make sure you see these ones if you just don't have the time.]

Seeing a show without a laugh track is more common now given the huge popularity of shows like Sex and the City, Malcolm in the Middle, Scrubs, The Office, and Arrested Development. (Okay I put that last in there because I adore that show and I remain sad that it had a Sports Night fate. But they both will live forever in my heart and on DVD.) It got compounded by animated shows like The Simpsons, South Park, and Family Guy. I just wouldn’t make any sense for a laugh track to be in any of these shows. Now that I think about it, I find that even the dramas I love (specifically Law and Order (and it's various offspring), House, Grey's Anatomy, ect.) have great jokes and moments to laugh at. I'm perfectly comfortable laughing even though there are no sounds to prompt me.

I hadn't realized how much I had adapted to shows without laugh tracks until I finally picked up the third season of Newsradio. I would spend hours reading quotes off of imdb and chuckle to myself. I could imagine Phil Hartman, Dave Foley and Stephen Root delivering these lines. So when I finally saw the episodes again, something was wrong. It felt unfunny. It felt like forced humor. I couldn't stand it. The laugh track was really distracting. Wait, that line wasn't that funny, why is the laughter so loud? Now suddenly I notice it everywhere. I find I can't watch old episodes of Friends anymore. That really sucks for someone who owns the entire series. I'd like to think that perhaps the series is just dated and my sense of humor has grown (yeah right) and has become more sophisticated (hehehe, monkey), but the truth is I was watching an old episode of Cheers and I felt right at home.

I remember driving home one day and hearing on the radio a promo for the evening's episode of Two and a Half Men. Even for the commercials the laugh tracks would come on and I would think of how bad it was. Not to mention the joke wasn't even all that funny. Stop laughing.

This doesn't mean that shows with laugh tracks (I have to admit they are a dying breed) can't be funny. But with this rush of copycats of popular crime shows, reality TV, and prime time games shows, I doubt someone will come along and bother to waste time creating a scripted comedy when there is so much popularity to capitalize on. I get the feeling the laugh track sitcoms are going to die with Joey. And yet somehow Yes, Dear will make it to its 200th episode (cue audience laughing).

Celebrity Sightings # 2-3

I must apologize to my fan out there (no that's not a typo, you read it correctly). I could claim that I have been swamped with this crazy roller coaster we call life, but then I don't want to lie to my fan. The truth is I just plain forget. Yes, I have tons to say, but it only comes out in small bursts. That's the only way it'll be really good. For the time being I'll give you this morsel and then return to my cynical yet hilarious observations. (that also is not a typo, I wrote hilarious on purpose)

And now for the second apology in this post. If I had been keeping up I would have posted this when they happened but even the most recent ones are bit far away. But this time I get to include a visual. Neat, huh?

It was a rainy day in January. (The 28th to be specific.) I along with two companions sloshed our way into a bookstore in a horrible city that will remain nameless. We can't make it to the second story of the building because it overflows with fans who were able to leave an hour earlier. Instead we were closed off from the stage, but the voice was loud and clear. Dave Barry had a new book to hock and we were among the sheep there ready to spend three times more money on a book we might not even read, but who cares, it's signed by the author. I had a backup plan. The one I bought was meant for my dad. I personally would never spend that much on a book. Not when there's used books stores and video rental type places that specialize in books. But as a gift, no amount is too much for my daddy.

We stood and listened to him reading excerpts from his book. It was good to hear it as it's meant to be read. That way it's as funny as he meant it to be. Or something. So after the reading is over and a vast majority of everyone else got their books signed, we went upstairs. I still am not sure why, but it's nerve-racking for me to come up with something clever if I ever get the chance to talk to a famous person. I found myself practicing in my head. It's kind of like when you meet the significant other's parents or best friend for the first time. Only this is more important. They can help me launch my career in entertainment if I don't blow it. I can handle the awkward holidays for the next fifty years, but this is a story I'll tell my children.

"Mom, why does Grandma leave every time we come over to Aunt Sarah's for Christmas?"
"Not now honey, I'm telling your brother the story of how Dana Carvey did the Sting dance just for mommy."(true story)

So it finally comes to me. I had met Harry Anderson many years ago. When I say met, I mean was in an elevator with and froze when he asked me what floor I was going to. My dad was there to answer. He also didn't realize who we were just standing next to. So when I get to the front of the line, I tell him that I got to meet his TV counter-part. He said that was cool and that how Harry Anderson was such a nice guy. I told him I was too star struck to really say anything to him, and he told me that if I had said anything, he would have been a nice guy. I believe him. We took a picture together and parted ways. (The picture in question can be seen below. The faces have been digitally altered to protect the innocent, but I the giant blue font tells it all.) I doubt I made a huge impression but I'll let your know if some agency wants to sign me because they heard from Dave Barry about my rapist wit (Dumb and Dumber fans will be laughing here).

So Dave Barry is sighting # 2. Number 3 is a pushing it for an entertainment web log. He is a celebrity and has been in a few commercials. I guess you could consider the Super Bowl to be entertaining. I know it's one of the most watched events during the year and all, but I think more people focus on accidental boob sightings instead of gridiron glory.

In any case, I'm sitting on a plane with my dad in Salt Lake City about to take off for Arizona. We've just enjoyed two cold days in Denver and it was now time to enjoy the 85 degree heat that Scottsdale has to offer. I look up at the guy who I assumed was holding up takeoff because everyone else was on the damn plane already. Why are you taking your sweet ass time? I laugh with my dad because we hade been making fun of people with those ear clip phones. We said we should be walking around with a pencil behind our ears and just start talking into it. Five bucks says no one would question it in an airport. (That's what my dad and I do in airports to pass the time. We make fun of the newest technology. The last time the big thing was palm pilots so I told him I would buy him a calculator with the giant buttons and a magic marker. Before that we couldn't figure out why people stand next to the payphones while they talked on their cell phone. I just assume being next to a payphone get you better reception.)

So this guy walks in with the phone clipped on one ear and a pen in the other. It's was amusing. So I watch him put his cup of coffee (or what I assumed was coffee) into the over head compartment and was hoping that 1) he remembers to take it back out again and 2) that wasn't where I put my stuff in case it gets knocked over in the time he takes off his jacket and sits down. After a few minutes after he sits down I see he's talking to the guy in the seat behind him. Wait they didn't come together. And he's signing a card. Weird. I was just a little annoyed and not paying attention at the time because on the flight from Denver to Salt Lake City a mother asked to switch places with my Dad so she could sit with her little girl. The girl was crying, fussy, and decided to use my arm as a headrest for half of the flight. There's only so far you can inch over before you have no where else to go. She kept touching me with her feet. Yes, I sound like a child, but the mother should have kept her kid off me. That's just basic public etiquette.

I was just happy to be leaving Salt Lake City because the child population seemed to be three times the population in Denver. Well, it was Mormon country after all. Wait, Mormons. Was that Steve Young? I was sitting in 15F and he was in 16B. It was hard to tell being across the way and all but it could be. I mentioned it to my dad and he had the same thought I did: What was he doing in coach? But he got on the plane last so that was something of a perk. I had to find out.

Do I ask him or is that rude? It didn't matter because he was off the plane and had all carry ons so he bolted out. I hate living with questions, so I decided to ask the guy sitting behind him. While we were getting our luggage I asked and he said it was him. Problem solved. I did take pictures of the Grand Canyon on that flight. Now I can say and if this shot was taken 180 degrees in the other direction, you would see Steve Young. (For the sake of the dignity of this web log, I'll will not include the picture on this post.)

I idolized Steve Young when I was in the sixth grade. Now he's just the guy in those car commercials. But nonetheless, he is celebrity sighting #3. Oh, when I told my boyfriend, I asked him to guess which famous Mormon was on my flight. After guessing Brigham Young, he got it right.

Oscars: Interrupting My Regularly Scheduled Programming

If you were to look at articles about the Oscars, many have mentioned how more and more people are just not watching them. A lot of pressure was put on Jon Stewart (and first time host Chris Rock before him) to not only not pull a Letterman, but to draw in the crowds. I have to defend the wonderful Mr. Stewart. The burden should not be on his shoulders. He brings in the audience for The Daily Show, something he has some control over. Now if he gets to write some of his jokes and things for the Oscars, then good for him, but it's not his fault that for some reason the damn thing drags on for hours and hours. I think the people who really enjoy the show are the ones that have a little gold man to put on their shelf when the evening is over. It's a big party that celebrities get to have and there happens to be cameras there. Why can't we just enjoy the movies that are being honored instead of the show to honor them?

I can offer up my excuses for not watching the Oscars. To be honest, why watch them when I can just read about it after they're over? Tonight I held open a screen on imdb that kept updating the winners. Ever five minutes or so I just hit refresh and BAM! I knew George Clooney won for best supporting actor. BAM! Rachel Weisz for The Constant Gardener. Not to be mean or anything but this is a lot easier and I don't have to sit through those really bad acceptance speeches. In addition to the constant updates, I have Entertainment Weekly (as well as every other publication on earth) predicting the winners. I use EW because they have a pretty good track record for predicting these things. They were pretty much right on the money for the big contenders. Finally, I have to agree with the most recent article I read (which may or may not be from my local paper, I can't remember): the Oscars are pretty much a big popularity contest.

I plan to write about this again some time in more dept but Hollywood is just a big high school. I was really rooting for Paul Giamatti, Catherine Keener, and Felicity Huffman (Kudos to Philip Seymour Hoffman though, he's been that guy behind the famous guys for long enough). But that's has nothing to do with their performances. I just wanted the popularity vote to somehow be overridden. All the other years the best actress went to the one who could transform themselves into unattractive characters. Now the one time I wanted that rule to take affect, it gets cancelled out by Reese Witherspoon. Come on. I don't care how cute or likable people think she is. I actually tuned in to see who won best actress and I heard her rambling about her character and then jumping in to say she's a real person. For people who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on their clothes, hair, publicity you would think for "Hollywood's biggest night" they could throw down a few bucks to a professional writer to ask, hey does this sound okay? You know, just ask your spouse or significant other or mom or doctor. Call your stylist or something. Just realize you are in freaking show business. You get paid millions to channel characters. The least you can do is not suck in the character you don't need to put in effort to channel.

And don't get me wrong, I love George Clooney, but he's such the homecoming king. I still haven't forgiven him for Ocean's Twelve (another celebrity party with a camera involved). Academy member thoughts: Yeah he won’t get the other two so let's throw him this bone. Hey, you ignore Sigourney Weaver one year and Juliane Moore another, but for Clooney, what the hell?

Overall the evening was pretty straight forward on winners. The refresh thing worked out perfectly until Best Picture. I actually yelled "what the F@#&*%?" when my expectations were incorrect and Crash was named Best Picture. I haven't seen it myself but I have heard many people were upset over Brokeback Mountain taking the spotlight away from this picture. I really hope that Crash winning was a result of people remembering that this film deserved the reward and not a political statement. You can't have the Best Picture tell the American public that it's okay to be in love AND be gay. Best Picture should be about racism, getting famous by killing people, lusting after teenagers, sympathizing with the mob, and coming to the big city to whore yourself out. But a gay love story it just too much.

I shouldn't say anything. It just feels like I'm in a high school cafeteria looking at the popular crowd talking about the big game this weekend while I'm in the corner table thinking about how I have to work then. No more giving into the bitterness. Next post I will simply return to my deep thoughts roots: so what the hell was up with Naomi Watt's dress? Sorry, sorry, I'll be back. I swear.

Childhood Stardom: It's Not Like in the Movies

The inspiration to write this post came from an episode of Oprah that was on a while ago. For those of you judging me, I have two responses: my mom watches Oprah, not me. The computer where I was working at the time is in the same room as the TV so back off. Second, I owe my degree to Oprah. No, my parents didn't attend one of her lavish birthday parties where the goodie bags included a voucher for a free college education. And I wasn't on her "Give free stuff for those who managed to get tickets for this show taping day" and hocked all the merchandise on eBay. What actually happened was when I was in elementary school, I watched an episode where the one of the guests was doing algebra. (I guess at one point in time the show didn't just have celebrities plugging their latest movies.) I didn't have a clue what was going on and my mom sat me down and taught me algebra that afternoon. Of course she didn't teach the three years worth of algebra that I got in junior high and high school, but I got the idea. When I got tested to be put in the advanced math class I knew what to do because my mom had already taught me. From then on, I was one class ahead of my peers in math. During my senior year I passed the AP Calculus test and in college I told myself to just keep going. Now I have a B.S. in Math and the right to feel like a smarty pants whenever I want. I should thank my mother and yet I give credit to Oprah for starting the whole thing. (I should point out that my mother has received eternal gratitude for the influence she has had over me including the math thing so no judging. I swear I have a point coming up.)

What does this have to do with entertainment you might ask? I give you this additional information for a reason. I have a tendency to ramble and say things that almost have to do with what I was talking about in the first place. But more importantly these points in my childhood helped build me into the person I am. I consider myself to be a pretty decent member of the human race. I look at pictures of me at eight years old and wonder how I got to this point in my life. And like it or not, we do the same thing with childhood stars. Case in point, that episode of Oprah I was talking about (see, it all ties together) featured an interview with Jamiee Foxworth.

That's Foxworth, not Fox. And it's Jamiee with two e's, not one. This is not about the Academy Award winning multi-talented actor who had a slight lapse in judgment when he signed on for the movie Stealth, but the young actress who played Judy Winslow on Family Matters for four years. Her character just one day wasn't there anymore (this has been referred to as Chuck Cunningham syndrome). And if you watch subsequent episodes, there is no reference to the third Winslow child.

On this episode of Oprah, she admits to turning to porn as a means of income. If you were to look up her film credits you will see they include some titles not suitable for younger viewers. I personally had to absorb this information for a minute. You notice some young actors disappear for a span of time and you marvel at how they changed when you do see them again, but this was too much. She is an incredibly beautiful woman and here she was admitting that she did it because it was a quick and easy way to make money. Not a few weeks later I found an article about Jodie Sweetin (aka middle daughter from Full House) admitting to a crystal meth addiction. Her reason for taking drugs is that she was bored.

I don't want to sound callous but this sounds more along the lines as standard young star behavior. I'm young with all this money. I need to do something. I mean so many young stars are associated with drug problems so this seems normal. There was so much speculation that Olsen Twin #2 really didn't have an eating disorder, but a drug problem. In either case, you have a teen with serious problems that the public would rather dish on then address that it's probably a good idea to find a way to protect younger performers.

We look at Drew Barrymore and think about how it's so great how she turned her life around from the teenager with drug problems to a beautiful thirty-something with her own production company and some decent movies under her belt. I say good for her. Some others aren't so lucky. Just recently Brad Renfro pleaded guilty to heroin possession. Hopefully he was just holding it for someone. Then again having it in the first place isn't a great start.

For those of you how aren't familiar with Brad Renfro, I would call him a low grade Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Funnily enough they were in the movie Tom and Huck together back in 1995. Speaking of which, last I read Jonathan Taylor Thomas has been out of the spotlight for awhile and was studying at Harvard. Here's the other side of the spectrum. He's going the way of Jodie Foster (assuming he returns to movies and wins a few Oscars). I have to say that's the way to go.

Though there is no easy way to mention this, as long as I am on the Tiger Teen Beat cover boy subject I have to make a note of Jonathan Brandis. He was one of those guys I admit to having a sixth grade crush on. I was shocked when I read that he had committed suicide in 2003. I have no jokes, judgments or witty remarks to make here.

There is one childhood star I would like to give my kudos to before finishing my post. This actor has seven movies to his credit. Five of which feature Academy Award winning performers while one more features an Academy Award nominated actress. Oddly enough it's because of the movie that has no Oscar prestige attached that I found myself developing a fondness for him. Can't Hardly Wait is a guilty pleasure and one I admit to owning. It's full of bad stereotypes that you find yourself rooting for one type and praying for humiliation for another. Blame my math geekiness background, but I have a soft spot for "the nerd". At least that's the stereotype title for such a character. I would call him the overachiever (in a good way) or the guy who will be worth something more after high school. Marry the football star if you want, but there's more glory to be had after high school. I'm sorry, I got caught up in a Revenge of the Nerds moment.

Anyways, he is Charlie Korsmo. (My apologies to him if his biography on imdb is accurate. He prefers to be called Charles. That might work out for him, but not so much for Charlie Sheen.) This fine young man has managed to graduate from M.I.T. with a degree in Physics. He's currently a student at Yale Law School. I'm sorry to be so inappropriate right now but I have to say how freaking hot is that? Alas I have to also say that he is a Republican and now I know he and I could never be. Such is life. But I commend him on his accomplishments.

I don't know from personal experience but based on what I have witnessed, it's not easy being a star as an adult. Why do people think children can handle it? For those of you trying it, I wish the best to you and for those parents trying to force their children into it, make sure you've thought this through beyond the paycheck. Not everyone will end up like Ron Howard. In fact, if you make it to Clint Howard status, consider yourself grateful.