Wednesday, December 15, 2010

What Christmas Means to Me

I few years ago I loved that song because somehow it was not played every fifth minute during the season. I'm trying so hard to preserve it because every other song bugs me for individual reasons but also because you cannot escape them.

Last year I was in a jolly mood from beginning to end of the season. I realized it was because I did most of my shopping online. That means the long lines and fixating on an appropriate present for my sister-in-law was not saturated by another round of Frosty the Snowman. Instead, the rush of last minute shopping was softened by Baby, It's Cold Outside and I was able to escape before Do They Know It's Christmas made me want to go kill myself (for more than one reason).

How dare you make this sweater purchase seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things?

I was not so smart this time around and did a eight hour shopping spree with my brother. I have this thought every year and for some reason it still sneaks up on me. The reason these songs make me want to stab my fellow man is because it's the same six songs over and over again. Just because this version is from Eartha Kitt and this version is from Madonna and the next version is being quickly recorded by some Disney tween bitch so we can hear it before we leave, it's the same damn song. Different inflection doesn't change it that much. Any parent getting nagged to get off the phone by a three year old doesn't care that the kid changes the way they say "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom." (Feel free to mentally high five me right now in understanding.)

So what's the solution? Mariah Carey came up with something over fifteen years ago and now people must take that whole concept and run with it. Creativity, imagination, SOMETHING NEW!

I'm going to leave you with a story to put things in perspective for your holiday. In Old Navy I was making a purchase when a teenage girl came up to me and asked if I was purchasing at least fifty dollars worth of stuff. I thought that shouldn't she be on the other side of the counter if she was going to offer me an Old Navy credit card or something? When I answered yes, she handed me a coupon for ten dollars off a fifty dollar purchase. I was touched. To me, that's a Christmas miracle.

Okay, not really. But that's taking the economic crunch of the time and sharing with others that which can help others save. In the most basic form, it's sharing with a stranger and I was touched. It could have happened to someone else, but it happened to me and I couldn't stop smiling at the kindness of that young lady. I said "Merry Christmas". Yeah I probably made it super corny for her, but if she thought I was a dork, she didn't say it. I thanked the adult she was with as well.

After the savings kicked in, there was a fifteen off a seventy five dollar purchase coupon returned to me. I saw a guy with a ton of stuff in his bag to I sent it over to him. Was I trying to ride the girl's generosity? Perhaps. But for the most part, it was little effort to pay it forward and I hope that guy enjoys the extra fifteen in his pocket. (Smash cut to that guy buying weed with it.) God bless is every one!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The One With So Much Annoyance

A few months ago, I sold all ten seasons of Friends. It was taking up space and considering so many episodes I have committed to memory (evidenced by my complete domination of the SceneIt? Friends Edition), it just made sense. Well, I'm getting married in a few months and I had a plethora of pop culture TV shows enter my brain as I planned. I can't call it a coping mechanism as this happens regularly in everyday life, but one particpular quote sticks out. I tried to find the clip, but the internet failed me in this quest.

The One With Rachel's Book, Season 7, Episode 2

Rachel: No, y’know what? It’s gonna be okay. I mean you don’t have to have this rustic Italian feast. Y’know? And-and you don’t need, you don’t need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that we’re gonna get married.
Rachel: Do you even understand what off the rack means?!

And now I will vent. FUCK YOU, YOU SPOILED, BRATTY, HORRID, FASHION WHORE BITCHES. Number one show and this is the crap I get to listen to as comedy? I have my "want that" moments but may you writers, producers, and general people who think this normal, funny, or worth the breath to speak it, go screw yourselves.

Honestly, I don't hold this against Friends. I just look back at this pre-economy collapse world and wonder if people have changed or still exist in modern society. I mean Monica and Rachel were supposedly living in an illegal sublet in New York living paycheck to paycheck. This matters that much?

All right. I'm calm now. Now I'm going to continue plan my simple, but infinitely awesome because I will love the man I will marry and the people sharing the day with me wedding.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Why Would Movies Lie?

I've been chewing on this since my birthday several months ago and it is now I finally collect myself and adequately convey my thoughts. As we get older, how you want to celebrate morphs. Just a few years it was a big group gathering to glow in the glory of ME! Later it became limo ride with my favorite couples. Then reduced to bowling with friends surrounded by young people that do the same for their tenth birthday. Most recently it was just pizza and beer. And I don't like either. It was just about being with my favorite people with whom I didn't share a bloodline with. (Bloodline celebration involves ribs.)

So here I am with friends from many moments in my life who made the cut. It was lively conversation and at no point there were no more than six people in the room. Naturally, pop culture is the best way to keep a conversation going and strangely, at times, can get tempers boiling as much as politics. What I thought was truly perverse is that after talking about some of the greatest movies of all time, we could not everyone to agree on the greatness of one movie.

Sure, you can get a consensus on the crappier movies. That's not a problem. Sadly, it's been so long since the conversation that I only have flashes of one friend claiming The Godfather was too long and The Departed was okay. I think Alien came into the mix as well. Don't get me started on Return of the King. I had this vision of the film class scene in Scream 2 and all of the students nodding in silent agreement The Godfather Part II surpasses the first. I had six people in my house and there was no agreement there. Of course in a freshman discussion, you can have the timid people agreeing because they do not want to stand out, but then it completely contradicts the earlier arguments that make up the entire scene. 

For some reason my thoughts when to that movie and thought "What a crock of shit." Yes. That this is the adult in me criticizing a movie for being  unrealistic due to college students all agreeing on The Godfather. Not the serial killer taking on the costume of the prior serial killer to exact revenge on the same survivors from the previous film. Just the film conversation. I guess it's just the film student in me. Or the Adam Carolla ranting that Megan Fox knows nothing about cars in me. Your choice.


 

Around the five minute mark you will feel the pain.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

License Plate Update # 9

I saw New York. Twice. I think I've given up. Summer is over. I'm sad now. No free trip to Japan for me.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

License Plate Update # 8

Georgia
North Carolina

And this other one I didn't write down. Why am I still playing this game? Oh right. It used to be that school didn't go back into session until September. Am I even half way through?

Saturday, August 07, 2010

License Plate Update # 7

Iowa & Oklahoma. Sadly I will have Kevin Kline from Dave singing in my head for the rest of the night.

Update: Turns out I already saw Oklahoma. The song remains in my head though.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

License Plate Update # 6

Indiana & Virginia. Yeah!