Celebrity Sighting #Henderson!

I was very excited to hear the Sklars were doing a show in San Francisco. I was all geared up to get my bearings and meet my husband after work to them as it is so unfair to ask him to go on weekends since he already goes five days a week. 

And then the jury duty summons came and I was crushed. Not so much because they finally called me, but I'm not strong enough to do so much at once. I'll admit my anxiety is ridiculous and I let it stop me from many things. In this case though, I let my resolve consume me and I bought those damn tickets. That's right!

After being a member of the justice squadron, I took my nap and hoped I could be at my peak for this show. I did well. I had my food rations, I got on public transit and using my previous experiences, knew what triggers to expect and squashed all beginning phases of panic. I even had people ask me about train schedules. I didn't know the answer, but I had Google to tell me how.

Through my terrible navigation I made it to my husband's office and realized eating is a good idea. Downed my pre-packed dinner and with my legs starting to feel fatigue I gently requested a cab instead of walking. Best ten bucks of the night spent. 

I hate general admission. People today have no problems showing up hours early to get good seats. I want to be rich so I can slip someone some money and get a good view. But I could see the stage and was happy to get this comedy started.

I see so many commercials for energy shots and the big claim is no crash afterwards. I do not take energy anything, but my crash came about eight thirty that night. I know performers develop a thick skin but many still fixate on the one person in the room not laughing. To that poor opening and middle act, please know that if I were in any other state of mind, I’d be cracking up.  You were great. But on this night, I could not muster the energy to smile. My body was betraying me and I got just enough strength in me to tell my husband that I wanted to go home. It was my night and he told me that he wanted to stay, but knowing me, if I wanted to leave, we could.

I love him so much. I was nearly shaking and wanted to find a bed and sob into a pillow. Instead I went into the bathroom and cried through the middle act. When that nervous energy left me, I was calm and ready to tough out the show I wanted to see.

It was within ten seconds that they came on stage and I was captivated by laughs. Soon my panic and exhaustion was gone and all that was left was a desire to scream ZOOM after every punch line. Can't remember the last time I was allowed to laugh so loudly in public. The show ended and I silently cursed the waitress for taking so long to get me the bill. She was a good server so I tipped well, but I didn't want to wait forever to meet the Sklars after the show. The line moved quickly and they were still very energetic. I told them I was promised a hug and a Henderson and they delivered. Like the good geeks they are, asked if I wanted my new Sklarbro Country shirt signed or kept pristine. They signed my ticket and I got a totally rocking picture with my favorite comedy twins. 

I was so jazzed as we left it didn't occur to me that I had to pee. It became very apparent when I was reminded there were no bathrooms available at the station. I used my politeness to get back into the club and use the bathroom. This time my release was biological and not emotional. I went home that night very content that I did not bail on a chance to meet two of my comedy heroes. Even better, my husband was proud of me. I know I'm a big coward, but there are some experiences where I will rise to the occasion. Promise me a hug and a Henderson and that will be one of them.

12 Angry Birds

Last Friday I had to go to jury duty for first time in my almost thirty years. (More accurately, in my twelve eligible years.) I was prepared to be there for a large portion of my Friday.....before the holiday....that I didn't get off anyway.....yeah. I promised myself that I would not get my hopes up that they wouldn't need me. That we would be let go early. That I would get to Skype justice in from home in my pajamas. Instead I packed a bag full of panic attack reducing meals and snacks, five bottles of water, four layers of clothes, one fully charged and podcast filled iPod, one fully charged Nook, my phone charger, and a book I got for Christmas in the event all electronics failed me.

I promised myself I would go into this with a positive attitude and with the intention to be as honest as possible. After going through the metal detector twice since they made be take my camera and eye glass repair screwdriver back to my car, I found a table near an outlet and waited for the employees to arrive to check us in. Slow moving line, but I've suffered worse. I was mostly concerned about losing access to an outlet, but victory and the last outlet was mine.

The nice lady next to me, whom I mentally classified as my new bunk mate, asked me if I had a dime she could swap for pennies. She wanted to avoid having to go to her car and subsequently be patted down by security again. I didn't need her pennies and the dime got her enough for her breakfast diet Coke. It was a small investment of good will. She watched my stuff as I used the restroom.

I thought books would be my way to kill time and I forgot that I need near silence to concentrate. For me reading cannot be done when you have a guy clearing his messages on his cell phone on full blast two seats away. On the other side, we had two women shooting the shit while the rest of us are trying to be lost in our own person spaces. It didn't even have to be a loud conversation because it's essentially a library where no one is trying to maintain a quite environment. Any sound is grating. So I gave up on my attempt at reading and brought out my podcasts. 

Wow, I'm spoiled. The cell phone guy was so loud and I did not want to destroy my future self's hearing so I gave up on the Sklar Brothers. (Temporarily. More on that later.) By this point I was already two hours into my day and trying to figure out what to do to get to lunch break. Then it hit me. When I was on a plane to Japan for eleven hours, I gave into my mostly denied inner gamer and played Bejeweled. Oh man, without even thinking about it, I had burned three and a half hours getting the shiny things to match up in shiny rows of three or more.

So in this waiting room of law and order (or I guess just order if you go by Dick Wolf shows) I got my phone out, found Angry Birds and attempted to catch up on my back log of uncompleted levels. It was only a blink of an eye to me, but twenty minutes later an announcement that our services would not be needed and we were free to go. I must state for the record that I understand how damn lucky I was that jury duty was such a breeze for me. Rather than return to work as a zombie and knowing that I would have to be there on the holiday on Monday......yeah.....I went home and took a nap. I would need my energy for my next adventure only a scant nine hours away......

Instant Substitution

Yeah, they're pretty much the same movie.

If they were sold out of Scarface, and were substituting Rock of Ages, I'd be outraged. But considering it's the other way around, that's okay. There was also a Magic Mike substitution, despite the fact that there was a copy right above the sign. Yes, naked Channing Tatum is totally the same as a Steve Harvey romantic comedy. Good job Target.