One of my oldest and closest friends celebrated her birthday last week. I'm
having issues. This has been a problem for a while. Gift giving is a
competitive sport for me with no other participants. Her husband had a birthday
back in February and my issues were minimized because the stakes were lower. We
got him a book and a DVD.
But I had to think was this a book he'd enjoy? There is no guarantee that he
would just because he liked the author. Also, it's only available in hard
cover, and that's a pain in the ass. Would have he preferred the electronic
format and does he even have an e-reader? Fortunately, I knew he is a collector
and would want a prominent copy on his bookshelf, but the only copy we could
find at Target had a slashed cover. Who the hell knows if a copy was at Barnes
and Noble and how much more we'd have to pay out of the ass to get it?
After all that was said and done, he posted on Facebook that it was his
favorite book to date. SCORE. But my brain did not stop the train wreck of
getting someone a gift. What to do when they are done consuming it and the
space it takes up? Do they want a hard or digital or both copy of it? What
happens when I give them something they have never experienced and it turns out
they don't like it and I've wasted their lives with the experience? A gift is a
very personal thing to me that says so much about my relationship with a
person. And this is coming from someone who grew up exchanging cash with her
parents for Christmas.
So back to my friend. During her birthday celebration we talked about how
she has so little time to go out and do things since having her daughter. Not
to mention a random conversation came up about not buying the things you have
functional but not fun versions. I know I shouldn't give a crap if the knives
and forks aren't a matching set since I have them, but something about that set
of eight with matching serving utensils is so great. Damn girly shit. Finally,
the conversation of being sick and tired of shopping at Winco because it's
filled with...ummm...less desirable people. Okay, ghetto people.
So my brain has gone in several directions of getting her a gift card to
Raley's for a ghetto free shopping experience. Then it went to a matching set
of glassware and utensils so she can get that which she never thinks to get
herself. They there's the old standby of a gift certificate to get her a
manicure and pedicure while getting her mom to watch the baby so she can relax
for an hour. Let's not forget my uber-grandma version of a gift of shaving a
payment off her student loan. What about all of the above? But them am I an
asshole for going too far? It is my business to buy someone kitchen stuff
without consulting their preferences? And grocery shopping is not gift (as I've
heard from normal people. I still have starving college student thoughts I
can't shake.) so much as a chore. And her mom is very busy right now. And how
can I really organize that as if it's gift to take her child away? What if her
husband and her have plans that day and I'm butting in? And student loans shit?
That's not supposed to be my business. What ever happened to the ’80s reference
T-Shirt gift? Oh, right, never been my style. I got them a Britta pitcher for Christmas.
Someone help me.
If it's the thought that counts, I'm missing the point entirely and giving
the most elaborate gift ever. It does not help that I want to give the world to
everyone. That is everyone who means the world to me. Thank goodness it's only
a handful of people. And most of them take cash.
Author's note: I realize that I have a similarly titled post from 2007. However the content is different and the stats provided show no views, so suck it. I'm leaving this as is. Wow, I have anger issues with my non existent readers.
