R.I.P. Adam Carolla Show

Dear Online Diary,

....Delete the tears....

2009 was the year that I was going to take some time off and finally go to one of the live Adam Carolla shows. Be it Los Angeles or Las Vegas, I was going to buy that man a beer and shake his hand. Of course if there were any drinking games, I would have run like a chicken.

And I finally was mustering up enough courage to call in and do one of the How Say You segments (assuming they'd let me on the air.) After hearing Teresa Strasser do her review of Debbie Does Dallas, I get into a conversation about porn with my man and he shows me this, well, it amounts to approaching a woman on the street and spending half an hour convincing her to have sex with a stranger in a van. I was wondering how much men would watch as the convincing part was quite long. Although it was too short with anyone with any amount of self-esteem. Finally we get to the sex in the van part.

I am not kidding when I say that what popped into my head was "Wait, they aren't wearing seat belts. Where are the police? Doesn't this violate Click it or Ticket?" Yes, there were two naked people having sex on the screen but I say this to my boyfriend. And then I break into my Carolla Burbank cop impression. "Okay, what I'm gonna need for you for you to do for me okay right now is go ahead and put your pants on and show me your license and registration okay right now. Sir, okay right now, please remove your penis from her vagina and step away from the van okay right now, okay right now."

Yep. I wanted to tell that story on the air. Of course now the phone lines will be flooded as tomorrow is the last day of The Adam Carolla Show. I'm sad. Didn't cry. But I'm sad. I have no doubt though, with this talk of a podcast,that Carolla will thrive in the media. Just not in the form that I've come to know and love these last two years of listening. I will burn calories to find him where ever he will entertain. I will miss my mornings filled with Ace Man, T, and Bald Bryan. But I wish them all the best in this rocky economy.

P.S. G.S. Go Sox’s!

Celebrity Sighting #11

I don't believe in the concept of Valentine's Day. But I do like presents. But in an attempt to not be that girl, this year for Valentine's Day, my man and I went to go see Christopher Titus together the Saturday before. Considering it's on a Saturday this year, I like avoiding the lovey-doveys. We both are occupied that day anyways.

So Tommy T's was packed. I forgot they pack you in like sardines in there. I lucked out because there were only two of the four types of crappy audience members. Across was the sour-puss that left me wondering why would you drop the forty bucks to have a bad time? (She was clearly a pain as she sent the food back. It's a comedy club, with an item minimum. Why are your expectations so high?) Behind us were the people that clearly ignored the “shut your mouth and let others enjoy the show” announcement. And they were loud. I came to see Titus, not hear your beer fueled blah, blah, blah. I count my blessings that the loud mouth that likes to be part of the act was nowhere to be found. And to top it off no cell phone was heard. Then again, the laughs did not stop so even if one did, there was no way I would have heard it.

Also note to self: next to me you go to a show with an angled view of the stage, sit in front of your 6'3'' boyfriend. As a bonus though, the guy behind me was a laugher like me. That is infectious for me and I enjoy myself when those around me are having the same good time, even if I don't know them.

Every bit was awesome, even the moderately offensive parts didn't go beyond my sensitive-o-meter. In the middle of the show he mentioned that he had shirts he was selling after the show and would be signing them. When the show was over, I bolted to the back because I was not going to miss out on that. I felt bad because I had abandoned my boyfriend. Titus wasn't there with the shirts, but I was going to get my damn autograph. He came downstairs and I grabbed my camera. Unfortunately, it was stuck to my little purse filled with my feminine hygiene products. But I wasn't going to miss the chance. I zipped it closed, handed it to a random guy and just pretended it was the camera bag.

I feel bad that it looks like my boyfriend wasn't meant to be in the shot, but he just tried to get into the back. I was in a hurry and didn't want to be the jerk monopolizing the celebrity's time, especially when he had a second show starting in an hour. I bet if I crop him out, it'd look cool. (Damn I'm mean. He bought me the shirt because he loves me and I'm cropping him out of my “me and celebrities” album.) As we were leaving Titus said to another fan the crowd was great. The previous night's crowd wasn't so responsive and we made up for it. Yeah we did!

On the way home, we rehashed some of the bits. That's one of my favorite parts of a great night. Laughing and having a great time with people you love.

The Titus special Love is Evol is on Comedy Central this Saturday and I suggest EVERYONE see it. This man is hilarious, the material is fantastic and you should avoid the Valentine's Day crap out there and sit with your loved one and enjoy it together. Just turn your sensitive-o-meter down a bit before it starts.