If The Costume Fits

Something awesome this way comes. Yeah baby, I'm making up for lost times with Halloween. I didn't bother when I was younger. I don't eat candy, so trick or treating was pointless. And I didn't want to dress up like a princess. Again.

Halloween is the time to release your inner whore. At least that's the explanation I give to all the costumes women typically wear. That doesn't work for me. I'm a larger than average girl. Though I am working on it. As soon as I finish this double cheeseburger. I've reached this point where I want to dress up for Halloween. But I can't go out all slutted up. I know I'm no meant to do that (for now, damn delicious burgers). So I have to go the awesome route. Creativity has to compensate for boobs.

It started three Halloweens ago. I showed up in in a white men's dress shirt and sunglasses. Yes, slutish, but it was a three person, watching movies party. But even more important was my concept. I wasn't Tom Cruise from Risky Business. No, no. I was David Arquette from Never Been Kissed dressed up like Tom Cruise from Risky Business. Yeah baby, loophole. Though confession time: I wanted to make my boyfriend squirm. I was pantsless and he couldn't touch me. Hehe, yeah I suck.

Next year was a little different. A bigger party but still among friends. I donned a mustache. Sharpie was helpful. Bigger and better. I was Norm Macdonald doing Burt Reynolds auditioning for Darth Vader. You still there? I even had the helmet.

Seriously in character: I chewed gum and did the laugh all night.

Last year I decided do throw my heart into it. It was such a natural selection it flew off the tip of my tongue and I never regretted the decision. It took several weekends collaborating with my boyfriend's mom, a trip to Lowes, Old Navy, Target, and some time on ebay. For all the time and effort, it turned out quite beautifully. I was invited to a large party thrown by my friend, so naturally I had to make an entrance. All decked out I walked in as: Duffman.

Oh Yeah! Need I say more?

And when his trademark song came on, I did the dance. Yes, there is video evidence of me thrusting through the whole song. That will come back to haunt me. I should send out a special thank you to Zack Birkenbuel. He had a website that showed step by step how to put together the costume. Visit the step by step here. Thank you Zack and God bless the internet!

Okay, a new year, a new idea. As you can see, I have craved out a pretty hard series of acts to follow. But I've set myself up for a pretty good costume. Wait for it.....Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama.....as Jesus!

I know, I'm going to hell.

I only threw in the Jesus part so I can use my own hair. I don't do bald caps and makeup. I've got a mask and some claws. It's quite good. Cost me about a third of the Duffman costume and only took about four days to make. Good times. Can't wait to unveil this one. I'm with the right crowd, so they'll get it.

So what about next year? I know I shouldn't worry about it yet, but bigger and better gets hard. Maybe I'll reboot and start fresh and not so difficult. Then again I might end up as Rob Schneider as a stapler. (Shut up! My friends get it.)