It's a wonderful time when I no longer have to give a crap about keeping my shows in my schedule. I make it a point not to give into summer shows. Though The Starter Wife and Burn Notice look good, but I will not get sucked in. Now is a time for me to catch up on my back log of TV sets I have on DVD.
It seems like an easy task to just sit on my ass, but at the risk of being ridiculed by my workaholic father, it's hard work watching TV. There more going on than meets the eye.
For starters, this is one full season at a time. This isn't a mini Law & Order marathon on TNT. Five episodes is easy. Twenty two, give or take requires some practice. Yes, there are no commercials so five hours will yield me about seven episodes, but no commercials means no natural break to run for the bathroom or grab a bite to eat. If I don't move around or eat, what was once an enjoyable DVD bender is now a situation that will cause me to resent a new set to be watched.
Last Christmas, I had a plethora of gift cards that resulted in one day's purchase of four seasons of South Park and three seasons of Will & Grace. I was smart this time to alternate seasons so I wouldn't get burned out on the same characters. Here was the interesting thing. I started to emulate characters a little bit. I wasn't surprised because when I watched the first season of The Closer, I found I had adapted Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson's charming "thaaaaaaaank yew." It was so subtle, but there I was saying it to the people at work. I guess it wasn't a bad thing, but the trouble came when I drenched myself with these two other shows. Let's face it. Cartman is freaking funny. Karen Walker is hilarious. But it is always at the expense of others. I had found that I was in extra mean mode. It was just instinct to rattle of insults left and right. Without even noticing I was throwing a Cartman-esqe tantrum and saying "buuuut Maaaaaaaa!" to my own mother. Even the classic "My God, I hate you" was flying out of my mouth. How quickly I have been transformed. It was a little scary.
Those who have watched at least ten episodes of the same show in a row will feel me on this one. Jokes become repetitive. Ideas get recycled. The next line becomes predictable. I didn't like that I could watch an episode of Will & Grace that I had never seen before and could finish the punchline. Is that a result of thinking like a writer? Or are the jokes and insults just too easy? In either case, it is not enjoyable watching. Switch to procedurals. I love my dramas. I live for The Closer and House. But these two have an annoying thing in common. Too many times you'll have the lead character staring off into space about eight minutes before the episode is over. At this time some side character is yammering about something half related to the current mystery to be solved. But for some reason, a random word is the key to the whole thing. Yes, trash compactor.. for convenience.....like a convenience store.....where you ask for directions if you get lost....which he wouldn't have done if he had killed her....it was the mother! For fans of House it goes more like this: laundry.....he might have needed quarters from the bank.....piggy bank....pig is not kosher.....so he had the chicken....which has us thinking salmonella...... but it's disguising the other symptoms of lupus...but it's never lupus...so it must be meningitis. Sadly, I'm not far off. Get season two of House and you'll see it.
Here's the toughest part of all. It's four in the morning and you have only one disk left. Sure you've spent hours watching and you're exhausted, but a few more episode and then you're done. Where does it stop being entertainment and start being a chore? I don't go to the movies as much anymore because I don't like the two hour commitment, but I give into the "just one more disk."
Maybe I should stop. I should just give up and start reading again. Then again Firefly is calling my name. But I should do season three of Arrested Development as a warm up. Damn you convenient high quality television!
