The Poor Man's TiVo

Damn you November sweeps! That's right. I went there. I have to say that I had a much easier time when the World Series was going on. That narrowed my religious TV watching down to only three shows: The Office, Grey's Anatomy, and Desperate Housewives. (And that is the order in which I care.) When Fox had this year's games on, I didn't have to worry because House was on reruns. Yeaaa! Don't have to think. That's a big thing with me. But last night I had the unfortunate situation of having Super-Sized Office conflicting with my Grey's. What's a girl to do?

Well, the entertainment powers that be have granted me a solution. ABC offers me the newest episodes on their website for free. This is awesome for when I miss the show, but it sucks for when I want to buy the DVDs when they come out. I will have seen every episode and will have to struggle with my wasting money verses completing my set hankerings. So with this offering, I know to ditch ABC shows in favor of the other networks and then catch up later. The occasional stops and low bandwidth (which I so do not have!) messages are a distraction but I get the episode and I'm good. (Though I can't stand that it doesn't include the scenes from the next episode. It sucks.)

But now that House is back on I have to remember more shows on more nights. What am I supposed to do if I can make it to my picture box and drool at, I mean gaze lovingly at, I mean stare at, I mean watch my favorite pill popping, insult cracking doctor? Well, I have not been blessed with TiVo or any of those fancy schmancy digital recording dealies. Instead I call up my substitute for Hugh Laurie and asking him nicely if he can set his VCR for me.

Not everyone can afford to have one of these damn things, you know! I'm still saving for a pony.
(The photograph is by Redjar and is available under a Creative Commons License.)

Yes, VCRs are still out there and deserve so much more respect than 8-Tracks, Laser Discs, and Beta. I grew up VCRs and taped hours of my favorite shows and have drawers of tapes that I will never watch again, but keep because I may be able to find a VCR with superior auto tracking that will make these tapes watchable again. Or I'll trash them when all of these shows are on DVD. I even used to want to keep recordings of random commercials that I love and SNL skits, but with the invention of YouTube I think I let these things go. If I ever want to watch Janet Reno's Dance Party, that Jungleheiemer Junction skit or those Volkswagen commercials that I thought were awesome, the internet provides me with all my heart's desire (and it has porn too!).

So that's the best I can do until I can afford TiVo. It seems as though if I tried hard enough, I could catch my shows and not need to subscribe to the digital recording world. But I want to hit that point to where I'm making enough money that I can pause live TV. Ahh the power! Until then I'll just have to rely on the VCR timers of others. (Oh and just in case you were wondering, the rich man's TiVo is just having TiVo, but it's programmed by Reginald, your butler.)

Going the Way of Brad Pitt

One might say that because it took an expiring movie pass to finally get my butt out and see a movie warrants the stripping of my title of entertainment junkie. Hell, I would say that. But we must not focus on this so much as this expired pass brought me into a movie that triggered a three hour post viewing discussion and the desire to tell everyone in my line of scope to see it immediately.

Now I am not experienced in the realm of Martin Scorsese. (If I'm not careful, by the end of this post, I'm going to lose my junkie status and get tarred and feathered in the middle of Grauman's Theater.) However, The Departed beckoned to me after the first trailer. How can you resist the concepts of two moles for both sides, inside the opposite sides trying to smoke out the other? Top it off with the stellar casting (the primary cast combined has won four Academy Awards and nominated for seventeen) and I knew I had to see this movie. And I was not disappointed. Like I said three hour discussion and recommendations all around. For the love of all that is holy, give that man an Oscar already. This movie even shot up the IMDB top 250 (it was 48 when I saw it and is as of today 62).

So what does this all have to do with Brad Pitt? A valid question. The Departed marks a very special point in the career of Leonardo DiCaprio. He is one respectable/excellent movie away from Brad Pitt status. Sill needs more explanation?

Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese, and Cameron Diaz promoting Gangs of New York at the 2002 Cannes Film Festival. Scorsese and DiCaprio’s most recent collaboration The Departed has resulted in DiCaprio’s one step below Brad Pitt status.
(The photograph is by Rita Molnár and is available under a Creative Commons License.)

First you have to assume Brad Pitt pre Mr. and Mrs. Smith and all that Brangelina stuff. Okay, when I was younger, my sister (and most of the female population) fell for Brad Pitt. He was that guy in Thelma and Louise and Legends of the Fall. I naturally didn't care. Then he was in Se7en. I thought the movie was awesome and was in it for Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman (you know, men with serious acting chops and not just washboard stomachs). By the end, I thought okay, he didn't screw it up. Then he was in Snatch and Fight Club. Clap, clap, clap, bravo, this guy isn't messing around anymore. Good job. Finally there was Ocean's Eleven. Damn! How the hell did Brad Pitt get so attractive? Oh right, he is respectable AND good looking now. That makes him ultra-attractive. And then he got involved in this tabloid thingy so now he's lost awesome points. But now you get my point.

The funny thing is George Clooney followed a similar path. Hated him when every woman on earth wanted to have his children. Saw Out of Sight and thought okay, he's not so bad. Saw O Brother Where Art Thou? and thought he's pretty good. By Ocean's Eleven he had won my respect. (But now he can do whatever he wants and his stuff isn't so great so he slipped of a bit on the awesome meter as well. Still has a lot of respect though.) I can't call it the Way of George Clooney though. That implies the TV to movie thing as well. Doesn’t work for what I'm trying to say.

Oh, just to complete my Ocean's Eleven, "when did they get so good looking?" circle. Matt Damon: From pretty boy status from Good Will Hunting (Which I did finally see and agree that it is an excellent and well crafted movie, but I didn't care for the women screaming oh my god, it's Ben and Matt look at them, they're so hot crap.) to hilarious in Dogma, to even more hilarious in that episode of Will & Grace, to attractive in Ocean's Eleven to respected in The Bourne Identity (to a running gag for all of my friends who have seen Team America World Police) to solidifying my respect in The Departed. In fact The Departed earned back the points he lost in Ocean’s Twelve. (That movie was a mess. I'm hoping you'll all make it back into my heart after Ocean's Thirteen. Go the Way of Die Hard, not The Godfather. But that's another post entirely.)

And as long as we are talking about The Departed boys, I must add special mention to Mark Wahlberg. You've come a long way since the Funky Bunch. My friends still crack jokes about that. If fact most recent was last night. But you get to have the last laugh. Though most didn't take you seriously in Boogie Nights, you did good. Three Kings, as well. Planet of the Apes, not so much. Rock Star, bad Mark Wahlberg! (SMACK) That's a very bad Mark Wahlberg. The Italian Job, now you're gaining some momentum. With The Departed, you're getting that respect. But you had me at Entourage.

So where does this leave DiCaprio? Well, he needs one more to solidify the respect. No more pretty boy from Romeo+Juliet and Titanic. Catch Me if You Can, I did enjoy. The Departed has you so close. Blood Diamond could do it, but I may be thrown by your accent and the subject matter. Maybe I'll throw you a bone and see how you did in The Aviator and Gangs of New York. (Oh, almost three hours each?) The Academy has yet to steer me wrong. Except for the whole popularity equals winning politics thing. And almost every best actress category winner for the last ten years. And come on already, give Martin Scorsese and Kate Winslet what they deserve already. Oh and finally settle that Marisa Tomei thing.....