I knew it was coming. I posted about it when I first heard the announcement. I wasn't even a victim of this the first time around. But I remain outraged. It could happen again and this time I may not be so lucky.
While many might be pleased that the original (i.e. Greedo doesn't shoot first) theatrical releases of Star Wars are finally available (though only for a limited time of course) on DVD, I remain skeptical. I have this theory that by the time Christmas rolls around, there will be a special double trilogy pack available with even more never before seen footage. You know like pictures of Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill playing rock, paper, scissors to see who has to help Peter Mayhew out of his Chewbacca costume.
You know what else set me off is seeing an advertisement for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest on DVD. The ad was fine, but it doesn't even come out until freaking December. DECEMBER! Those who want it are going to get it. Four hundred million worth of box office receipts prove that. They don't need an ad three months in advance to remind them that they need to buy it. But two weeks after they sell the DVD, they'll come out with a “Sunken Treasure Edition” with more discs and a special sneak preview of the third one. Then when all three are out, they'll sell the third one and then put together a trilogy package one month later that will include even more special features and little gifts in the packaging. With any luck it’ll include some sand, a lock of Johnny Depp's hair, and what's left of Orlando Bloom's manhood (Oh right, he lost that somewhere in between Troy and Elizabethtown).
I apologize but I'm tired of this release, hook, and re-release thing they have going on. I own some great movies. But apparently I have to go out and get the extra special version that wasn't originally available when I bought the first copy. I know they plan to do this with Kill Bill. Of course Tarantino will have a major set available. That's just his style. But I'm not playing anymore. I got Volumes 1 and 2 for twenty bucks and I'm done. Unless one of the special features involves a rebate of the full purchase price of the DVD, I'm not touching it.
I've been burned many times but even when I finally learned my lesson and waited for the special über editions, I got screwed again. Three films I have: The Professional Uncut International Edition, Robin Hood Price of Thieves Special Extended Edition, and T2 Extreme Edition have all pissed me off. Yes, the extra scenes the directors have put in are interesting, but this new cut is not the movie I watched many times and want to watch again. I have to do it in reverse now, where I need to get the bare bones copies if I ever want to see the cut I want.
When did they get it right? Wedding Crashers. The regular and the unrated (or in this special case Uncorked Edition) came out at the same time. But with Uncorked, I can decide which version I want to watch.
I take that back. Wedding Crashers got it right on the DVD part. But the Uncorked thing bothered me. Here's a note to those in charge of DVD releases. Calling it a "cute reference from the movie" edition is not cool. Pretty in Pink: Everything's Duckie Edition, not cool. Tommy Boy: Holy Scknikes Edition, funny, but not cool. Grease: Rockin’ Rydell Edition, NOT COOL. This one even came with its own jacket. But you have your choice of jackets. Now it's not even about the movie anymore.
So yes, I am outraged. And I know this will happen again and again. But don't worry. I'm not going to copy and paste this rant, add some paragraphs and post it again in six months calling it something new. There no cash in it for me. Even if there was, you deserve better.
